Every gathering of people who follow Jesus is unique. Each one has its own personality. You can walk into any brand of Church in one city and then go to the same brand of Church that is roughly the same size only a couple of miles away and have a completely different experience. Have you ever wondered why that happens? I think there are several forces that shape a Church.

1. A Work of God – Some Churches are best described as having a “God-thing” happen. That means there is something going on that no one can really explain. Old timers might say that a “revival broke out.” Lives are suddenly and unexpectedly changed, new people are showing up unexplainably and great things are happening that were totally unplanned.

2. The Primary Leader – In many Churches this is the pastor. If the pastor is an upbeat loveable guy, the Church takes on his personality. If the pastor is a student who studies deeply suddenly the Church starts taking classes and carrying a study Bible with notebook. Sometimes the primary leader is not the pastor. It might be a dominate elder or an influential family who shape the congregation. This is especially true in small congregations that have a frequent change in the preacher. Whoever leads the group also shapes the personality of the group.

3. Past Experiences – If a Church once struggled with an issue, even if it was several years ago, the lingering thoughts shape a congregation. This takes many forms. I see it most in Church policies. A person once abused the system so we put policies in place so that it never happens again. Sometimes this makes for doctrinal soap boxes. There was once a person in the Church who was liberal in some area of theology. He started leading people astray. Now we want everyone to know that we do not approve of that behavior. Suddenly the Church becomes legalistic and judgmental.

What is really interesting is the overlap of #2 and #3. If a primary leader had a difficult past experience either inside or outside of the Church they often use that to shape their organization. For example, I had a guy who fought against budgets because in his business background the people would always spend every dime they were budgeted. He thought people in the Church would be told they have X amount of money for a ministry and they would run and spend it all just because they could.

4. Future Hopes and Dreams – There are Churches that live out a plan of what they want to do for God. I know of a Church that has a goal of reaching 10,000 non-believers with the gospel message. As a result everything is evangelistically driven. If we want to accomplish this goal then we need to be that type of Church.

5. Forces of Evil – Unfortunately some Christian Churches have allowed evil to shape them. This can be anything from a leader who is divisive to a leader who is full of sin. Selfish motives and ambitions shape the Church more than anything else. This is closely related to #2, but a leader can be driven by good or bad intentions. Sadly sometimes evil wins and Godly people leave.

I am sure there are other forces at work in a Church but these are the ones I encounter the most. I wish I could say that all Churches are shaped solely by God but that is simply not the truth. I have had people argue with me about this idea only to find out that this person leads a Church full of argumentative people. Coincidence, I think not.

2008 was the toughest year of my life, my marriage and my ministry. I am not going to tell you all the details of that year but let me give you an overview.

I was busy serving in a Church I had started 8 years before. The Church was growing and was quickly approaching its largest attendance ever as we were having nearly 300 people in worship each week. I was trying to lead staff and the first decision I made that year was to fire one of them. It was an ugly process. He was a friend, but he was also a lousy youth minister. The difficult result was that we had less leaders with more people.

I quickly began to work all the time. 300 people demand a lot of time. I was preaching each week, leading the staff, trying to develop leaders, writing policy manuals, taking over the youth ministry and performing 1 or 2 weddings each week. Most days were marathons that started at 8:00 am and ended sometime around 8:00 pm. In an effort to save time I dropped my daily Bible reading and prayer time.

The hours away from home took their toll. I was quickly becoming a stranger to my wife. I felt very distant from her and have never felt more alone. My boys were starting to grow up and taking on more activities. The hours got tighter and the exhaustion accelerated.

It didn’t take long and I was on a downward spiral I couldn’t pull out of. My decisions became very poor. I was following God’s guidance less and less. I was now driven by success and the love of people other than my family. Everyone liked the Sunday morning version of me, but they didn’t know what was going on behind the scene. By fall I was not spending time with God or with my family, I was trying to succeed while bailing water from my sinking boat.

I had a series of conversations with my leaders who had lost most of their trust in me with each passing week. I was searching for help and no one heard my cries. Finally the decision was made to resign my position. The leaders agreed it was a good move and gave me a three-month paid sabbatical to help me heal.

The downward spiral continued. The big question was, “What do I do now?” I had lost myself in my quest for ministry success and now I had no ministry. Depression overtook me. Dark thoughts pervaded my mind. I was not sure where God wanted me or if he even wanted me.

The country was experiencing a recession at the time and no jobs were to be found anywhere. Then life hit rock bottom. I accepted a job making $8 an hour at a telemarketing firm. Never being good at confrontation made the job very difficult for me. One Thursday a person on the other end of the phone started cussing at me and I cracked. I went to the bathroom and cried. I left for lunch and called my wife and cried. My pride was gone and my life made no sense.

That night I made a decision. I need to get back on track with God. The next Monday I took my Bible, a notebook and a pen to work with me. I began taking every small break between calls to read. I started writing my prayers out on paper in my notebook. I began working extra hours on Monday through Thursday so that I could take Friday off with my family.

Soon a better job opened up at a local factory. I was put in charge of the warehouse and started getting exercise as I walked around the plant all day. While walking I would take time to pray or sing. At lunch I listened to sermons or the Bible on tape. Suddenly I was feeling better emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally.

At this point in one of my prayers I felt the nudge of God to search for a ministry in Alaska. I looked online and there were two Churches searching. I sent off my resume and within a month I was on a plane to preach a trial sermon. Within three months I was back in ministry and life made sense again.

This time I vowed to do it differently. I would start each day with prayer and bible reading. I would take time off each week. I would say “no” more than “yes” to outside speaking engagements including weddings and funerals. I would make my spiritual life and my family life a priority and my ministry would no longer take every minute.

Fast forward a few years to today. The changes I made have stuck and have even gotten stronger. Right now, I have never been happier and felt more blessed.

It has been 8 years since the wheels fell off. I am still haunted by some of the decisions and words made during that season. I wish I could change the past. I can’t. But God has forgiven me. My family has forgiven me. My past is now just my past. A sad chapter in my life that I am not proud to talk about.

I tell you this story for a couple of reasons.

One, sometimes God has to break us down before he can build us back up properly. It is a painful journey. I don’t know that I would have changed had I not hit the bottom so hard.

Two, if you are in this process of transformation. My heart breaks for you. I have been there. I also want you to know that the end result is better than I imagined. I don’t mean that I have finished changing or have gotten everything right. I mean am thankful for the person I am today. Through God’s grace a better life is possible. I am living proof.

I spend my life as a pastor and preacher but most often I am a storyteller. Some people need to hear simple stories that help them understand the Bible. Some people require stories to let them know the Christian life is a real and can be lived out. Stories reveal, stories captivate, stories raise questions and stories help us understand deep truth.

I do not just use stories in my preaching. I use them in almost every form of teaching that I do. A good story can change worlds and form ideas in every realm of truth. Jesus was the master of this in a form of teaching called parables. Those simple stories that still capture our imagination 2,000 years later.

With that said, I think that every Christian needs a full backpack of stories that they can draw upon to share the gospel, explain the Bible and challenge people in their faith. Most of us think we are good storytellers, but in reality most people I encounter are terrible at it.

So today I would like to share some tips on how to tell good stories, especially when talking about faith.

1. Don’t Be the Hero of Every Story – This is the biggest mistake I hear people make in Christian storytelling. People get tired of hearing about all of your accomplishments. The same is true for stories about your children.

2. Put the Spotlight on Other People – This second one follows the first. Tell about the successes of other people. Share stories that make other people look good.

3. Share Your Flaws More than Your Victories – If you want to share a story of how bad people act then go to your own stories. This demonstrates honesty and humility while disarming the people who want to throw stones because they think you have it all together in Christ.

4. Tell Stories That Share Common Experiences – Telling people about that time you were scuba diving off the coast of Africa loses people’s attention. A story about dealing with crazy people in traffic draws us into your story because we all have been there.

5. Think Like a Child – Disney and Pixar have mastered the art of telling stories for children that also engage adults. Simple is always better in storytelling. Great stories take the very complex and make it understandable not vice versa.

6. Use Humor (When possible and when appropriate) – Humor connects and disarms. I think certain places and topics are off-limits. Most of the time a good funny story is captivating.

7. Fully Develop Stories – Details make a story better. Which sounds better to you? “I was in the car with a bug that scared me” or “a huge wasp somehow got into our car. He buzzed around my ear and I thought it was a fly until I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I have always been afraid of getting stung so …” Do you hear the difference?

8. Lose Your Nervous Tick – “Um” and my least favorite “It was like, like, like … um … you know.”

9. Make Sure Your Stories are Christian – This applies to topics and language, but it is also about content. I cringe when I hear a preacher tell a story about world changing and use a secular humanist as their example. Tell me about something that underlines faith in action.

10. Listen To People Who Tell Stories Well, and Learn From Them – I listen to sermons, comedians, Garrison Keillor, older people. I watch movie development along with the plot in books. I notice things that catch my attention and try to replicate those.

I know these are simple ideas. It is very possible you will forget most of them. Probably many of you think you have mastered them. I really doubt you have. I know I haven’t. My hope is that I get better and better at telling stories so that I can share God’s story. I don’t care if people like me, but I want them to know God and stories are one of the best ways I know to do it.