My wife and I took a week to go home, visit my mom, and help her around the house. While we were there, two of my boys joined us. On Sunday morning, we all took my mom to her Church, the same one I grew up in.

I started attending there when I was five years old, and my parents decided it was time to change places of worship for several reasons. I was a part of this Church through Jr. High and High School, plus through my college years when I was not preaching. Since then, I have tried to stay in contact as much as possible by helping lead a week of camp and joining them for special events. But it has been over six years since I went with my mom.

What I love about returning is seeing the old familiar faces. The staff of my youth has changed and retired, but I saw so many people whom I have known for years: Walt and Cheryl, Dennis and Lisa, and even my cousin Janis with her family.

The Church is such a unique place. It is where people join and remain for fifty years or more. Many of the people will never attend anywhere else on a Sunday morning. It is where you can see families develop and grow, where young people turn old and raise their grandchildren to worship the same Jesus.

I believe you experience Church at its best when you find a community you like and stay with it for a lifetime.

My Sunday visit included conversations with people who have known me since I was a boy. People who were curious about my ministry. I hugged people I hadn’t talked to in over a decade. In some ways, it felt like a homecoming to the people who helped raise me and develop my faith.

Going to the old building feels nostalgic, but seeing the people reminded me that Church is much more than a building. It is a family you love and grow old with, even when you are miles apart.

At the youth group gathering our Church leads every week, I noticed one of the boys get up at the start of the lesson and disappear into the bathroom. He didn’t return after 10 minutes, so I went to check on him.

I opened the door to find him wetting his hair and combing it with his hands over and over. He was trying to get that perfect look to impress others. I saw him and said simply, “Let’s go; you are missing the lesson.”

He grumbled and walked out of the bathroom and back into the auditorium.

Since then, I have watched, and he has not returned to youth group for the past three weeks.

I have tried to tell this story based on facts, and without interjecting emotions. This is how everything played out according to my perspective.

I wonder how he tells the story. What was his perspective on the events of that evening?

Does he tell people, “They are so controlling, they won’t let you go to the bathroom without watching you.” Maybe he tells people how boring youth group is and how the lessons have little value, even though he did not hear most of it. Perhaps he attacked me and said, “The pastor is a real jerk.”

Honestly, any of those scenarios and descriptions apply, because they are all partially true from his perspective.

And that is my point.

Whenever someone tells you about their experience at a church, any church, remember that their perspective shapes their story.

So be careful when you hear someone’s negative story about a church, a pastor, or another Christian. There is usually another side to the story.

Before you make up your mind, remember: perspective matters.

I don’t do this often, but I am sharing something I did not write. It was on Facebook, and I have seen multiple people share it without quoting the original source.

EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT CHURCH HURT,
BUT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT PASTOR HURT.

*Pastor hurt will rarely, if ever, get discussed—the wounds a pastor receives while loving, serving, and carrying the burdens of people.

• Pastor hurt is pouring years into someone, only to watch them leave without ever having a conversation with you.
• Pastor hurt is finding out that someone you loved like family has been discussing you with everybody except you.
• Pastor hurt is being expected to understand everyone’s bad day while nobody considers that a pastor can have one too.
• Pastor hurt is counseling someone through their darkest season, answering their late-night calls, praying them through a crisis, and later being treated as though you never did anything for them.
• Pastor hurt is watching people interpret correction as rejection because they wanted affirmation more than discipleship.
• Pastor hurt is having your motives questioned by people who have never carried the weight you carry privately and publicly.
• Pastor hurt is being criticized for decisions by people who don’t know the information behind those decisions.
• Pastor hurt is hearing, “God told me to leave,” when nobody ever came to you and said, “Pastor, something is bothering me. Can we talk?”
• Pastor hurt is watching someone become offended by one moment after years of experiencing your love.
• Pastor hurt is being there for births, deaths, hospital rooms, marriages, funerals, financial crises, family problems, and spiritual battles—then discovering that one misunderstanding was enough for someone to write you off as a demon.
• Pastor hurt is seeing someone you trained, encouraged, promoted, and gave opportunities to suddenly treat you like the enemy.
• Pastor hurt is investing in someone’s calling, only for them to dishonor the very house that helped develop it.
• Pastor hurt is having people demand access to you when they’re hurting, but disappear when the pastor needs them.
• Pastor hurt is carrying confidential information that prevents you from publicly defending yourself. A pastor may know every detail of exactly what happened, but integrity requires them to remain silent.
• Pastor hurt is smiling from the pulpit while privately processing something that would have kept many people home.
• Pastor hurt is preaching faith to everybody else while having to fight for your own faith after the service is over.
• Pastor hurt is preparing sermons while exhausted, praying while wounded, leading while grieving, and showing up because people are depending on you—knowing that if the shoes were on the other feet, they wouldn’t show up for you the way you have always shown up for them.
• Pastor hurt is realizing that some people loved your gift more than they ever loved you.
• Pastor hurt is discovering that some people celebrate you as long as your pastoring never challenges them.
• Pastor hurt is forgiving people who never apologized because bitterness would cost your calling more than their offense ever could.
• Pastor hurt is learning that shepherding sheep sometimes means being bitten by the very sheep you’re trying to protect.

Pastors hurt too.
Pastors bleed too.
Pastors get tired too.
Pastors need prayer too.

Love your Pastor.
Pray for your Pastor.
Talk to your Pastor.

Behind that pulpit is a person who is carrying more than you will ever know or experience.

I noticed on social media that someone had posted a picture of a friend, and there were several comments underneath it. I quickly looked to see what people said. Every comment was a glowing statement about how “good,” “wonderful,” and “kind” this person was.

The problem was, I know this person too.

While some might describe them as a good person, they are far from God. Their life does not reflect strong faith, and in fact, several areas of their life could be described as ungodly.

There is a hard truth we need to understand: Following Jesus will lead you to becoming a good person, but being a good person does not mean you are following Jesus.

Our ultimate goal should be to become a godly person.

Godly people seek God’s things first. They value truth and are willing to confront evil, even when they find it in their own lives. They are willing to have hard conversations. They are willing to establish protective boundaries. And they understand that doing what is right will not always make them popular, because they have chosen to serve God above others’ approval.

Being good is not the same as being godly.

When my life is over, and people are describing me, I hope they say more than, “He was a good guy.”

I hope they can say, “He loved God. He followed Jesus. He tried to live his life for Him.”

Because when everything else is stripped away, being godly matters far more than simply being good.

I was working with AI to help me develop this blog, and at one point it gave me a summary of my writing style. One phrase caught my attention: “Honest rather than formal.”

I liked that. I think that describes how I try to write and, honestly, how I try to live.

I don’t want my writing to sound like I have everything figured out. I don’t want to hide behind big words or religious language. I want to be honest about life. The good, the bad, the successes, the failures, the questions, and the things God is still teaching me.

Maybe that is why I appreciate the Bible so much. The Bible is remarkably honest.

It tells us about David’s victories, but also his failures. It tells us about Peter’s boldness, but it also tells us about his denial. It tells us about the disciples’ faith, but it also shows their doubts and misunderstandings.

The Bible doesn’t airbrush people. And neither should we.

Sometimes I think Christians feel like we have to present a polished version of ourselves. We know what we are supposed to say. We know how we are supposed to act. We know what a “good Christian” is supposed to look like.

But there is something powerful about simply being honest. Honesty doesn’t mean celebrating our failures or making excuses for our sin. It means we stop pretending we don’t have any.

Jesus never asked people to pretend.

So, “honest rather than formal.”

That’s how I want to write. More importantly, that’s how I want to live.

Social media rewards people for views, likes, followers, comments, and shares.

The result is not a quest for the truth, but for something that attracts attention. Post something controversial online that no one else is saying or believing, and it will get liked and shared repeatedly. Weirdly, traditional orthodox views are ignored, and unorthodox ideas are perpetuated across the internet.

It is an apt reminder that when something attracts lots of attention, it is usually because it is abnormal. Out-of-the-ordinary views of scripture and religion have always existed, but now we reward those views monetarily.

The New Testament continually warns us to be on guard against “Wolves in sheep’s clothing.” Well, I would add, “and social media is where they like to attack.”  

I noticed something about myself the other morning. Before I’d prayed a single word or opened my Bible, I’d already checked my phone, scrolled past a dozen stories, and let my mind run ahead into the day’s to-do list. God hadn’t gotten a moment of my attention before my day really started.

We live in a world that’s very good at getting to us first. Every day, something is competing for our attention. Our phones. Social media. Sports. Work. Money. Politics. Entertainment. Hobbies. Our kids. Our schedules.

None of those things are necessarily bad.

But even good things can become a problem when they begin taking the place that belongs to God.

Jesus said, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.”

First.

That is the key.

God doesn’t want to be squeezed into whatever time we have left over. He doesn’t want to be the first thing we think about only when life falls apart. He wants to be first in our lives.

So maybe the question isn’t simply, “Do I believe in God?”

Maybe the better question is: “What gets my attention?”

Because what gets our attention eventually gets our time. And what gets our time often gets our heart.

Jesus didn’t say, “Seek my kingdom when you get around to it.” He said, “Seek first.”

Maybe today is a good day to take an honest look at what has been getting our attention and make sure God hasn’t been pushed to the back of the line.

That is an estimate of how many mistakes I have made in the sermons I have preached.

Some came from a lack of theology. When I started, I had read the Bible, but I hadn’t connected the dots, so I said things that seemed correct but were mistaken.

Most came from a lack of experience. In my ministry, I have bounced between thinking people are good and thinking people are basically evil with each new season and how I was being treated. There was also a time when I thought I knew all about parenting, and then I had children. In the early years, I was convinced I knew the best Church leadership practices and how I was to conduct myself as a preacher, only to find a better approach later.

With each new year, I have gained more knowledge and life experience that shows me how foolish I was in my youth. When I sat down and counted them up, I have preached on Sunday mornings roughly 1,716 times. Each time I am sure I said at least one stupid thing.

I know one day I will look back at what I say this Sunday and think, “Ugh.”

Yet God chooses to work through my mistakes. He takes what I lack in knowledge and experience and makes up for it with his Holy Spirit. God uses my imperfect words to accomplish his perfect will.

God doesn’t wait for you to be flawless before He uses you. He will use you despite your imperfections. God is bigger than your faults, and his power is made perfect in weakness.

I have ceased to be amazed at how the media portrays Christians. Watch any movie, TV show, or streaming series, and whenever a follower of Jesus appears, they are usually a nut case. They are portrayed as hypocritical, greedy, mean, abusive, or sometimes downright evil.

They rarely show the Christians who volunteer hours at hospitals, soup kitchens, food pantries, and homeless shelters. And when they do, those Christians are often portrayed as simpletons who have lost touch with reality.

One obstacle we face when sharing our faith is the popular image of Christians in our culture. And most of the time, we overcome that image without saying a word. You will never talk someone into believing you are one of the good Christians. You show them by showing up, giving selflessly, putting others first, and letting your light shine through your actions.

When you live for God, you may sometimes be branded a crazy religious person. If so, be like the people we find in the Bible, and not the caricatures we see on the shows we watch.

One way to accomplish a big task is to break it into smaller steps.

Instead of setting out to read the whole Bible, why don’t you break it into steps? To complete the Bible in a year, you would need to read between 3 and 4 chapters a day. That is about 15 minutes a day for the average reader.

Instead of setting a goal to pray more, start by planning what you want to pray for. Make a list like: prayer for your family, for those who are sick, for your future, for the Church, and whatever else. Then work through each part of your plan. Amazingly, you will pray longer than you originally thought possible.

Success results from completing one small task after another until a large job is done.