My first thought was, “What if people find out?”
Initially, I was not concerned about what God thought. Instead, I was focused on the reaction of the people I lead.
I knew people would be disappointed in me if they knew. Some might even be shocked. Others would gossip. Some people might celebrate my failure as a form of victory because they always knew I was a terrible person. Reactions would vary depending on your relationship with me now.
One of the weights that preachers carry is the desire to be perfect in the eyes of their congregation. Preachers are to speak of their sins in the past tense, as people who are victorious in the name of Jesus. Well, I am here to tell you that even preachers commit sins. We do things that violate God’s will, and there are times we are filled with guilt, remorse, and regrets.
The good news is that preachers are saved by the grace of God. They are not perfect, even though they are trying to be. They, just like you, can go back to the cross and plead for God’s mercy because of the work of Jesus. And as a preacher, I am continually confessing my sins, trying to make the necessary changes, and pleading with God for his ongoing compassion.
I am a preacher of God’s grace because I am a receiver of that same grace.