Whining, complaining, venting, frustration, anger, jealousy, and bitterness are the antithesis of happiness. These never produce joy, even in the slightest.

Yet, when other people succeed, it is natural to feel these emotions, especially if it is someone we do not particularly care for. 

Being happy for others increases your happiness. 

Finding joy in other people’s accomplishments and successes, even if they are not friends, still increases your happiness.

You cannot fill your soul with negative attitudes and expect it to overflow with positive emotions. Only by genuinely being joyful for others will you experience the happiness you long for. 

My favorite comedian, Nate Bargatze, was doing an interview, and someone called him “an overnight success,” he responded with, “Just took 20 years.” 

The number of people becoming successful in any venture quickly is minuscule.

The journey to success is long, even the one of faith. Perhaps especially the one of faith.

Set your expectations appropriately, do the daily work, and prepare for the long haul.

Throughout my ministry, I have worked in smaller Churches and repeatedly had similar conversations. One that I hear the most is, “How big do you want our Church to be?”  It might vary in exact wording, but the concept is the same. “You want us to be one of them megachurches, don’t you?”  Other times, it gets a country Church spin, “Our little Church cannot reach many more people.” Finally, “I just love our Church the way it is.”

I could tell you of a hundred similar conversations, all with the basic premise: Our Church is small, we don’t care to reach new people, let’s focus on who we have, it is comfortable right now, and after all, there are not that many people around here who will come to Church anyway.

In the early days, I would confront those conversations with a Biblical fury and shout about the Church attempting to live out the great commission. Later, my heart broke knowing that people were shallow in their faith and understanding of the gospel message that people without Jesus are going to hell.

Right now, I simply want to ask, “Who is not welcome here?” 

If your children wanted to come to Church, would you like a seat for them, a staff person to help them grow, and programs to help make them fully devoted followers of Jesus? You would want them to be in heaven as a result of the work of the Church for Jesus. Each of us could name a relative, spouse, parent, in-law, coworker, or friend headed for a Christless eternity. Those are people we love who need Jesus, and when we say that we don’t want to grow or reach more people, we are saying that even though they need Jesus, they are not welcome here because we are happy without them.

We never use those words, but that is the truth many Christians are unwilling to face.

How big do I want our Church? I want it to keep growing until everyone has a right relationship with Jesus.   

This happens whenever we form an opinion about a person or situation without knowing or considering all the facts. It is the root of all prejudice.

Everyone does it, even Christians. 

It sounds awful, but surprisingly, it can be a good thing.   

As a follower of Jesus, we know that every single person we encounter is a sinner. Everyone you meet is struggling with some issue in their life. And they all need the grace of Jesus along with the love of a neighbor and friend. 

Prejudice is perceived as immoral because it leads to negative behavior. What if you flipped it over, and it led you to become more gracious, compassionate, and loving? 

Every person you meet is harassed and helpless, like a sheep without a shepherd. No matter how rough their exterior or how tough their disposition. They need Jesus and people to show him to them lovingly.

I have already prejudged that I will love others, whether they like it or not.   

I spent the evening running through every possible scenario in my head. If they say this, then I will respond with that. If I say this, I bet they respond with that. 

When I finally hit the bed, I tossed and turned all night, filled with anxiety. Rest escaped me as my mind continued overthinking the interaction that awaited me. I could not eat in the morning as I tried to settle my stomach before the meeting.

In my office, I prayed intensely about what I would say in the coming meeting. I read scripture, and I sought to find comfort in the word of the Lord. I reached out to other people to pray for me, and they offered me wise advice.

Finally, there was a knock at the door, and they walked in and sat across the table from me. I spoke my concerns directly and offered no apologies. My stomach tightened as I waited for their response. They bowed their head and said quietly, “You’re right.”

All my anxiety and rumination had amounted to nothing. In the end, nothing went the way I had imagined. My problem was not real; it was all something I made up in my head.

It is easy to look back and laugh at it all now. At that moment, the problem seemed far too real.

One struggle for believers is to trust God in their reality and let go of their imaginary struggles.

Ask ten people how things in their lives are going, and nine of them will respond with, “Busy.”  Everyone I know and talk to regularly describes their life with this solitary word, “Busy.” People are hurrying from one thing to another with a long list of places to be and things to do.

Each of us needs to consider what we cannot do at a high level if our life is crammed full.

1. You can’t have deep, meaningful conversations in a rush.

2. You can’t be fully present with people while thinking about where to be next.

3. You can’t empathize with others because you are not invested emotionally.

4. You can’t share your struggles with a friend in the spare few minutes of your day.

5. You can’t love well in a hurry.

It is quite possible you are rushing from one thing to another without asking if it is worth it.

Being a follower of Jesus is about more than becoming a good person.

We tend to think of Christians as nice people with kind hearts and happy dispositions. In general, I hope believers are considered good people, but it is so much more than that. 

A Christian is a person who is committed to learning the truth, knowing the truth, and teaching the truth.

A Christian is someone who loves their friends, neighbors, and enemies. They pray for them and show them Jesus in their actions.

A Christian serves the Lord with their gifts, talents, and abilities in the Church and the world.

A Christian connects to other believers so they can support them and, in turn, receive help in times of trouble.

A Christian gives sacrificially to those in need and to the work of the Lord. They are generous to others and happy to share some of their God-given resources.

A Christian is committed to becoming like Jesus in every area of life, from their tongue to their schedule and thoughts.

A Christian tells others about Jesus, his impact on their lives, and how he could change theirs for the better.

A Christian is a leader who stands for morality for their school, community, state, and country.

When I die, I do not want people to say of me, “He was a good person.”  I want them to say, “He was a Christian.”

I have followed my favorite comedian for the past three years. By following him, I mean listening to his podcast every week. Often, I listen to it initially and then return to watch it on YouTube later in the week. He and three friends share stories of their lives, their experiences as comics, and part of their quirky personalities.

I also follow his social media feed, where he shares information about his life and tour. There is also a Facebook group comprised of podcast listeners who share their stories about seeing him perform or meeting him in person after a show.

Finally, I have seen him perform three times. I have also watched his three one-hour specials and his half-hour on Netflix. Before that, he had two CDs and a show on Comedy Central. All of these I have digested multiple times.

Through all his material, I have come to know him well. He has shared numerous stories of his upbringing, life, family, and plans for the future.

Recently, he had the opportunity to host Saturday Night Live. What fascinated me was how many of his fans, like me, reacted. They posted how it felt like a family member was getting his shot at greatness. Others shared how it felt like an old friend had made a success of his life. People wrote about all kinds of beautiful feelings about him getting this opportunity.

Here is the funny part. NONE of them know him personally. They only know him through the material he produces. While they feel very close to him, he has no idea who they are. He has never eaten with them, shared a personal moment, and has no affection beyond them being a fan. They view him as a friend, and he doesn’t know the first thing about them. It is a one-sided relationship.  

Why do I tell you all this? Because this is how many preachers feel.

Their congregation may love them, but they feel overwhelmingly lonely. They have no real friends. No one invites them into their lives and homes. They know a lot about him from the material he produces but nothing personally. 

There are significant differences between being a fan and being a friend. 

Most people are kind to me. Each week, someone will tell me how much they were blessed by the sermon or how one of my blogs spoke to their situation in life. They will share how a devotion or a lesson was instrumental in their thinking and walk with God.

My secret to success is simple:  Keep showing up.

I have committed to producing my best work every single day. That means I show up when I don’t feel like it. I write and work even when I would rather be someplace else. I am always in the office early and have my mind working. I sometimes preach and publish items I know are not as good as I hoped, but I keep putting them out there daily and weekly.

One amazing part of working for God is that if you keep teaching, preaching, writing, and talking, God will take one of those interactions and use it for good.

Having an impact for God takes less skill than one might think; it is more about doing the work over and over again. You keep showing up until God shows up to use your efforts.

She loved the book and could not speak highly enough about its impact on her life. Then, four weeks later, during a similar conversation, she stated how she did not like the book. 

What happened?

During that time, she had talked with several other people who I knew disliked it. Her opinion changed because of her friends. Her attitude went from good to bad, all because of the people she spoke with about her reading.

There is a warning in this experience. Whenever I have a bad attitude toward someone or something, I have to ask myself, “Do I feel this way because of my own thoughts and encounters, or am I adopting my feelings from someone else?”

But I really want to flip this concept over and see the good in our adopted attitudes. You also have the power to influence the people around you for good. If you always speak positively about that person, others may adopt the same attitude. If you speak well of that place or that activity, you can sway the emotions of others. If you shine a positive light, others will begin seeing what you see. 

I like venting my frustration to others and forget how it impacts their views. Each one of us can use that same power for good and bring joy instead of gloom.