Let me tell you an inside secret. When preachers are speaking with other preachers privately, we describe losing some people as blessed subtractions. Every pastor has a few people who leave the Church they lead, and they actually thank God for their absence.

This might sound shocking, but let me describe a few of them.

1. The Troublemaker. Some people strive to stir up division in the Church. That way, they attract attention (albeit negative) and are never ignored.

2. The Constant Complainer. They liked the last preacher better. They prefer a different style of music. They do not like the volume of things. They want more of this and less of that. Every conversation is a complaint about something in the Church.

3. The “My Last Church” Christian. They are currently attending the Church I lead, but their last Church did this, and their previous Church did that. They are working hard to make this Church just like their last Church.

4. The Deep Thinker and Not Doer. The person who attends every Bible study but will not serve anyone else in any way. They have all the Biblical answers but none of the fruit.

5. The Space Filler. They come to Church, sit there for one hour every week, and leave. They don’t connect to anyone, serve, join a small group, or do anything besides fill a seat each week.

These are a few of the people who walk out of Church, and secretly, the preacher is not offended. In fact, it opens doors for those who are growing in the Lord to serve without hindrance.

One goal for a Christian is to be such a vital part of the Church that no one is ever happy to see you leave, especially the pastor.

She was clearly nervous about speaking in front of a large group of people. Although she was not a paid preacher, because of her life experiences, she was given the opportunity to teach about the method she was using to develop disciples.

Through the years, I have heard all kinds of bad habits in public speaking. People sometimes use the word “um” to fill the blank space as they gather their thoughts. Other people use the word “like” all the time. As this lady gave her lesson, she would stop and say, “Am I right?”

The first time I heard it, I laughed a little. Then, I began to be concerned because I thought she was not confident in what she was saying. Finally, I realized it was a nervous statement meant to help her connect with the audience.

As a preacher, I was very forgiving of her repeated use of the phrase. I also found it a curious comment to add when you are teaching from the Bible. To stand there and read a passage, teach a little, apply it to life, and then say, “Am I right?”

The Apostle Paul tells Timothy that the Spirit of God does not make us timid. Whenever we teach what the Bible says, we can have confidence in what we are saying. God’s word has given us everything we need for godly living. We have divine instructions on what to do and what to avoid. There is a rock on which we stand.

If you are trying to build your life on God’s solid word, the answer to the question, “Am I right?” is always “yes.”

I absolutely hate that you had to go through that.

I despise what your father said to you. I am filled with anger when I think of how your friends did that unimaginable thing. My heart breaks for the pain that you endured at the hands of people who should have loved you. I am genuinely sorry about the broken relationships, physical struggles, emotional baggage, and spiritual letdowns you have endured.

Sadly, I cannot fix any of the things that happened in the past. I sincerely wish I could go back and erase it all.   

All I can do is point you to Jesus. I can tell you that in him, you will find grace, forgiveness, compassion, peace, hope, and love. I can promise you that I, and other Christians like me, will do our best to love, support, and encourage you.

If you are looking for a way to remove the painful scars of the past, all I can tell you is that Jesus is the ultimate healer, and I will show him to you to the best of my ability.

I can’t fix your problems, and I hate that, but I can tell you about Jesus, and you can allow him to make sense of your pain.   

Traditionally, certain monks have taken a vow of silence as an act of dedication to the Lord. They set aside a certain amount of time to keep their mouths shut so they could learn to listen to God. It was believed that thirty, sixty, ninety days, and even a year of silence might help them in their walk of faith.

Often, these experiments in discipline result in worship of a person’s willpower more than God. People thought, “If they can be silent for that long, they must truly be a spiritual person.” And if thirty days were a sign of a mature faith, then a year could only be achieved by the most spiritual people on earth.

As a result of all the ways this can be distorted, it is now a fringe activity done by a handful of people. And yet, I would like to suggest to you that a vow of silence might not be an entirely bad thing. I don’t mean total silence; rather, what if you committed yourself to keeping your mouth shut whenever you feel like you need to correct people?

Imagine a new believer is talking about a passage of scripture they read and how they felt the comfort of the Lord in the words. Meanwhile, you know that they are using the passage a little out of context. Could you vow to keep your mouth shut and let this person grow in their faith rather than trying to instruct them at the moment?

Or picture a conversation in which you hear a fellow believer mention a passage of scripture you have studied in detail. Could you keep your mouth shut and not ramble on about all you know?

Possibly, there will be a time when you are having a religious conversation with people of varying backgrounds. Could you keep your mouth shut instead of trying to convince everyone of your theological perspective?

One true sign of spiritual maturity is knowing your scriptures and what they mean. I also think another sign is letting people talk and not feeling like you have to make everyone see it from your viewpoint.

What would happen if you vowed to listen more than you speak?

What is it like to be a pastor?

This question haunts my days. While I have done it for a long time, I am never entirely sure if I am doing it correctly. Some parts of my job are spelled out in scripture; those things I can do with confidence.

There are also so many gray areas. Should I start this program? Should I visit that person? Should I confront this now or wait? Should we spend money here or there or not at all? Am I doing enough to help people know Jesus? Am I doing too much and killing myself as a workaholic?

This list of questions and ways to second guess ministry are limitless. And if you happen to be an overthinker like me, it can cause you to lose sleep and teeter on the edge of emotional instability.

Faith is not only about trusting God as your Savior; it is also about trusting him as your Lord. That means that you live every day trying to please him. AND that you trust him to take care of all the details. I place my faith in Jesus, knowing that my efforts to serve him will accomplish his will by his power and design.

I know some of my decisions are incorrect, and I often fail in what I should be doing. But I have faith that God will use my work for his glory.

Faith is essential for those who serve the Lord, whether paid or volunteer. We need faith that we have a Savior and that he is using our lives to accomplish far more than we ever imagined.

It seems the goal of some preachers is to make their people feel bad every week about something that they are or are not doing.

There are numerous sermons preached where the goal is to confront sin or the absence of righteousness and leave people feeling bad about themselves. And if the preacher has not made everyone a little bit sad, then they have not done their job.

Some take it one step further. If you do not preach on sin and are consistently making people feel bad, then you are “sugarcoating the gospel” or “watering down the message of Jesus.”

I would argue that scripture comes to us in a variety of ways, and preaching should, too. Some of the Bible contains poetry, proverbs, and promises. Some of the scriptures are history, prophecy, and a little mystery. Some of the messages are gospel, grace, and goodness. There are words of encouragement, enlightenment, and education.

Repentance and confession are a massive part of the call for believers, but it is not the only message. Not every sermon needs to make people feel bad about themselves. A feel-good sermon can be equally Biblical and practically required.

This Sunday, I will stand up and share a message of the love of God and the love of one another. I do not desire for people to feel bad about themselves; in fact, I want people to know the love that God and his people have for them.

Be careful about judging the quality of a sermon by its condemnation of sin or apathy. Those are not the only criteria for a good sermon.

The pastor said that he and his wife had two children. Together, they determined that their goal was to have Godly, well-adjusted children by the time each kid turned 35 years old.

He continued by saying they knew their children would have struggles in their teens, search for a career in their twenties, and build a family in their thirties. They also knew their faith would need to mature with them as they search for their own faith community.

What this enabled them to do was stay encouraged when their children were walking through difficult seasons. When having doubts about faith in their late teens, they remembered each one had time to figure this out. When they wanted to change majors in college, they rest assured that there was plenty of time to settle into a career. When their heart was broken over a lost relationship, they were not anxious about their future as they were still learning to love.

This single goal helped them to cope, coach, and encourage their offspring toward the life God desired. He stated that research shows that who you are at 35 is what you will basically remain for the rest of your life.

How would your parenting be different if you focused on age 35 and not 18 or 22 or 25?

As Christians, our most significant act of discipleship is the one we do with our children. This is a lifelong journey that does not end when they go to college or move out of the house.

“I love your sermons. I don’t mind being late each Sunday as long as I can hear the sermon.”

“I am so glad we put the sermons online. That way, I don’t have to miss Church.”

“You are a great preacher. Don’t ever leave because I like coming to Church here.”

These are all statements I have heard this year. I know that all of these are meant to be compliments, and I appreciate the sentiment of kindness directed at me.

But you need to know how I hear it. Here is what I heard in each of these conversations. “I am an immature disciple who likes the Pastor more than Jesus.”

Before you get upset, please hear me out. Pastors like me want to see you connected to Jesus and not to us. We want to see people love to worship the Lord and not hear us preach. Our desire is for people to connect to God and one another every Sunday, even if we are not the ones preaching. All of these statements tell me that you are building your faith on me, and know this: I WILL disappoint you sometime.

My dream as a pastor is to have people who love to come to Church out of a commitment to Jesus and nothing else.

If you think of the Church only in terms of the pastor, then we have failed to do our job.

While I enjoy attending, I do understand conferences are designed with one major flaw. They provide education with no accountability. You can learn volumes and then do nothing with it. There is no one to say, “You know better than that.” As a result, most of the things I have learned over the years are grand theories and ideas kept in various binders and notebooks.

That is the genius of God in the local Church. While it might not always inspire you like a conference, it is a place where people can hold you accountable for what you have learned. Fellow believers can come alongside you to help you implement God’s word as you are transformed to be like Christ.

Of course, the Church is flawed, too, if you treat it like a weekly conference that is meant only to inspire or educate you.

The questions are similar but not the same.

Do you want it to be right?

Do you want it right away?

Immediate results are not always the best long-term decisions. You need to be clear on what type of choices you are making because the future will be here sooner than you think.