When You Feel Like You Are Losing Control

Lately, it has seemed like I am losing control over everything.  My schedule is at the mercy of public officials and the decisions they make.  The choices of others are limiting my free time.  No more going to the movies, out to eat, casual shopping, or time with friends.  My money is being affected by stimulus decisions, the stock market, and the increased cost of everything.  My children’s lives have been thrown into chaos, and my wife and I are left to clean up the mess.  Even the Church I lead is having to cancel its Easter programs despite my best efforts.  Life is spinning out of control, and I have no way to slow it down. 

Does any of this sound familiar?  Each day brings a new set of changes and challenges.  None of these are things you would have planned, and you are definitely not prepared to happen.  What do you do when it feels like you have no control?

I supposed the most significant thing to do is realize you never had control from the beginning.  You only had the illusion that you were in charge and running the show.  God had allowed you the freedom to make decisions, but that did not give you complete and total control.  You were always at the mercy of the maker and sustainer of all things. 

One thing this virus should do for each person is to realize they have no control.  These current events have the power to drive us to God.  Just like a visit to the doctor can reveal our lack of control.  The same way a random accident reminds us, we have no control. Our lives right now are only showing what has always been true. We are in the hands of a merciful God who is working for his glory in all things. 

When you feel like you are losing control, you need to connect to the one who is running everything.  Only he can make sense of this time.  Only faith in him can give your life peace. Only our dependence on him will relieve our anxiety. 

The bad news is that you and I are not in control.   The good news is that one who is in control loves you and wants you to trust in him. Our faith in him will help us make sense of all of this one day.  

What This Pastor Is Doing During Quarantine

On one of my Facebook groups for pastors, another pastor posted this question, “What is everyone doing with their extra time?” My first reaction was the same as about ninety-five percent of the pastors, “What extra time?” Almost everyone agreed that they are working more now, since the shutdown, than before. Many of them began to detail their work so that people could see what was filling their time. I thought that might not be a bad idea for everyone to see. So this is how I am filling my time during this unusual season.

  1. Praying. I am trying to take extra time to pray for our Church, its leadership, and its members.
  2. Planning. With every setback, I not only have to cancel events, but some of them need to be rescheduled. Sermon series and lessons need to be adjusted for better timing. My plans for the fall are changing since we are losing much of the spring.
  3. Communication. The staff and leadership are trying to communicate through emails, Facebook, and the website. Each decision also comes with a series of phone calls and texts with people both before and after it is made.
  4. Personal Contact. In a typical week, I receive and handle about 50 texts in 7 days. Recently that number has increased to about 250. People are texting me, and we get going back and forth. I am contacting people and trying to stay connected to our Church. This has taken way more time than I imagine. Also, until this week, when I will be working at home, people have been stopping by the Church one by one and talking to me. People are lonely and need a break, so they have popped in, and I enjoy some time with them.
  5. Preaching. I am still spending the same amount of time planning, researching, and writing sermons. But now, I have added a couple of hours on Thursday night to record it.
  6. Podcast. Back in December, Hannah Newkirk and I were talking about podcasting. We decided to do it together since we both have very different perspectives on so many things. With people being asked to stay at home, we decided to keep doing this every week for people to have another tool to grow spiritually.
  7. Blog. I keep writing and working on this, but I have had to adjust my plans of regular posts to things that are more helpful during the virus.
  8. Family. My boys have been home while trying to figure out their next steps with college. Their classes have gone online, they have been shut out of dorms, and job situations have changed. I have tried to take advantage of this rare opportunity to see them. Also, I committed to calling my mother every day or at least every other day. She is 84 and at risk during this time and has not left the house in three weeks. I know she is lonely, and I love the conversations with her.
  9. Odd jobs. There are things to do like change the church sign, water plants, handle any trash, and a hundred little things that need to be done.
  10. Learning. Each day I am receiving about 50 emails telling me what other churches are doing during this time, offering ideas and resources to help, providing articles, and linking to podcasts to give me direction. No Pastor has been through anything like this, and we are all trying to help each other.

I want you to know that this has not been vacation time for most pastors. Instead, it is a time filled with uncertainty, learning, and work. My days are full, but my life is blessed. The first two weeks have flown by, and the month of April will be a blur. Pastors appreciate your prayers as we prepare for what will spiritually happen through this time. May God use it and me for his glory.

Weekend Reading

There are so many articles being written and posted lately that it is hard to keep up. Here are some of the best things I have read in the past two months. Many of them were written before the virus hit, but they are still very helpful. I hope you enjoy

How to ‘Disciple’ Your Kids into Church Dropout Status

10 guidelines for pastoral care during the corona virus outbreak

5 Tips for Improving the Way You Study the Bible

Is everything going to be okay?

How to Help Your Wife with Her Body Image

10 THINGS PASTORS SAY ONLY TO OTHER PASTORS

OkBoomer: 10 Signs Your Weekend Services Aren’t Designed for the Next Generation

*Don’t forget my new podcast with Hannah Newkirk at Farmhousefaith.org

Peace That Passes All Understanding

Paul, in one of his letters written while under house arrest, pens a powerful declaration of the human soul. He tells the believers in the city of Philippi,

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7 – NIV 2011)

Paul instructs us to rejoice, even in the middle of difficult circumstances, not once but twice. He tells us not to be anxious, instead to offer prayers to God with a thankful heart. And he says something that I think is beautiful. If you rejoice and pray, declaring your dependence on God, he will give you peace, “which transcends all understanding.”

Peace is easy enough to understand. It is the absence of conflict and the presence of calm and tranquility. Faith in Jesus as our Savior gives each believer a sense of peace. Then he adds a description that takes this idea to a new level. His peace will transcend or surpass all understanding. People who are not Christians will look at our lives in the middle of tumultuous situations and have no idea how we can remain calm.

The Church at Philippi might comprehend his words better than we do because of an incident that occurred there. While Paul and Silas were ministering in their community, they cast a demon out of a young girl who predicted the future. Her owners were furious and riled up the crowds. The result was that both were beaten with rods and thrown in jail. At midnight that sat in their stocks and “were praying and singing hymns to God.” (Acts 16:25)

Here are two men who follow Jesus, who had been beaten, their future uncertain, sitting in jail, and yet they were full of peace. It defies the imagination. How could someone be so calm in the middle of such pain, turmoil, and lack of control? They trusted God while rejoicing and praying.

Whenever life gets difficult in this world, one of the marks of a Christian is their ability to remain calm and filled with peace. My prayer is that today, wherever you find yourself, you would trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, so that he may fill yours hears with peace.

No Limits to Your Impact

At this moment, more and more locations are moving to a “stay at home” order. If you are a non-essential business or have no good reason to be out, then stay home. I know for some, this sounds like a type of punishment.

This one thought led me back to the Apostle Paul. Four of the books in our New Testament are called “The Prison Epistles.” That means they were letters written by him while he was under house arrest in the city of Rome. Our letters of Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon were all penned while Paul was forced to live in a house as a prisoner.

When I think of the Apostle Paul, I think of him as a writer, and the reality is that he was a preacher, and when he was unable to preach, he wrote. His ministry knew no limits. He had an enormous influence on the whole of the Christian faith even when he was unable to travel and speak.

Obviously, you are not an inspired Apostle, but the lesson is still the same. Your life can have a significant influence in whatever circumstances you find yourself if only you think creatively. Use the gifts you have for the glory of God. Take your extra time and use it in his service. Do things that will make an impact for eternity when you are facing boredom and loneliness.

This can take many forms. You can write cards to senior citizens. One lady I know is having her children make cards and write in them as a homeschool project, and then they are sending them to the elderly in their Church. You can send texts to check on people. You can take your phone and set aside some time each day to call people. There are unlimited possibilities.

We can take this time at home to learn and grow personally. We can take this time to connect as a family. Both of those are wonderful things. We can also take this time to show the world the love of Jesus in a very practical way. You are only limited by your imagination.

No Clear Path Forward

When I lived in Iowa, I spent a great deal of time fishing the Mississippi River. I went out and bought my first boat that was big enough for my family but was designed for fishing. Most of the time, you could find me on my day off flying down the river to some great location to go fishing. One morning I was heading down the river when I turned a sharp corner to find myself wrapped in fog. Suddenly everything disappeared. This happened the days before high tech electronics and sophistical apps on my phone that could help me with GPS. There I was in the middle of a large river with only my compass to guide me.

The fog allowed me to see only about 10 feet in front of the boat, so I slowed down to idle speed. The danger on the Mississippi river is what they call wing dams. These are piles of rocks that jut out from each side to keep the flow of water in the middle and the channel deep enough for large boats. These wing dams often lie one to three feet under the surface of the water. Many careless captains have hit them, destroying their prop and usually the lower unit of their motor. It can be quite dangerous on a clear day, but under cover of fog, with little to guide me, I found myself unsure of which direction to turn to avoid danger and arrive at my destination.

Right now, this is a perfect illustration of life. The year was sailing along fine, and then we turned a corner and hit a fog we now call Covid-19. Suddenly I can only see a few feet ahead of me, and I am not sure how to navigate with any clarity. With every hour, the news changes with more local cases confirmed, government mandates, and suggestions on how to stay safe. I am trying to move my life forward, but I know dangers are lurking under the waters that I cannot see at present.

What do you do in moments like this? Well, on the river that day I did three things. One, I prayed for God to guide me. I do this in any desperate situation where issues lie beyond my control. Two, I moved forward slowly. Proceed with caution. Three, I counted the cost. If I hit something, it might mean I would need to purchase a new prop for my boat. That could be up to $300 in one mistake, but it would not destroy the whole thing.

Those three things, I believe, are still the perfect advice for times like this. One, make prayer a priority. Two, move forward slowly. There is no rush to figure out your plans for a month from now. Take it one day at a time. Third, consider the cost. Will the choices you are making now have long term consequences if they fail. For example, my 84-year-old mother has completely isolated herself, even from family, because we want her to be with us a long time. These three simple things will keep us grounded in our faith and in the ability to make wise choices.

Sure enough, that day on the river, I hit a wing dam. It did a little damage to the prop but not enough to require an expensive repair. I evaluated the damage and then kept moving forward slowly. Eventually, I rounded another corner and hit daylight. I took off again and managed to catch a cooler of fish. The day turned out alright despite the first hour of stress. I am sure the same is true for this year. It has been an unprecedented start, but I am sure daylight is right around the corner.

A Post I Never Thought I Would Write

Yesterday, our Church, like many Churches, did not have a regular worship program because of a nationwide virus. Those are words I never thought I would write.

Let me give you a little context. I have been a Church leader for 27 full years, and during that time, I think I have seen it all. We have canceled our meetings for floods, snowstorms, power outages, ice, and influenza. There have been Churches near me survive fires and tornadoes. They simply skipped a week and found a new place to meet while they rebuilt.

This is different. We have closed for two weeks, and the government is saying it could take 60 days at the least and 120 at the most to get through this nationwide pandemic. I am praying for the best for our people, community, and Church through this time of unprecedented events.

Here is the amazing thing to be me through all of this, I never saw any of it coming. Well, to be fair, no one did. Last year the leadership and I planned a 2020Vision for our Church. It was a five-year plan, and we try to think of numerous issues that might arise. We talked about community changes, staff issues, annual budgets, economic swings, and even the effects of bad weather. Never once did we mention a nationwide pandemic.

All this reminds me of what James wrote to the Church in James 4:13-15, “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ (14) Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (15) Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Did you catch verse 14, “You do not even know what will happen tomorrow.” Moments like this remind me of this insightful truth. I had no idea this was coming, and yet here we are today. We are in a place and time we could not have imagined. So, what do we do?

I have always liked the line that says, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.” Faith in Jesus is not about having insights into the future; it is about trusting him when we do not see the future. It is about holding onto the one certain thing in a time of uncertainty. James wanted the Christians during his time to place their faith entirely in God, not the normal flow of this world. After all, we have no idea what is going to happen.

This day and this week, we are bracing ourselves for more events that no one saw coming. I hope that we will not be filled with anxiety and fear. Instead, I pray this time forces us to cling to faith. Today is a great day to trust God. We are living at a time no one imagined, but we have a God with unlimited capabilities.