Church leaders often talk about how people make up their minds about a Church in the first few minutes of arriving on their campus on Sunday morning. I firmly believe this is true. Guests are looking for easy access to the facility, along with warm and friendly people in a pleasant environment. Good parking, friendly greeters, clear signage, and inviting worship are essential.

Recently, I heard a Church leader talk about what can happen three years into a new Church. This is the point where the newness has worn off. People now know everyone more personally, including all the good and bad. There starts to become a “sameness” to every Sunday. Soon, we become bored.

At this point, one of two things can happen. Our attendance can become less frequent, and we quietly fade into the background of the Church until we don’t go at all. The other option is that we find a new and exciting Church and we begin the process over.

I am not entirely sure this happens for everyone in year three, but I know it happens for everyone at some point. Just like all relationships, there comes a time to invest more energy to keep it going or pull away and quit.

Unfortunately, for those people who fade or change Churches, spiritual maturity will always allude them. They will always be chasing some feeling created when they are new to a community of believers instead of digging deeply into faith. 

Know this: seasons of boredom are common, even in the Church. The key to spiritual growth is pressing on long after the thrill is gone.

One of the most common traits I find in Churches is grace. Most people are kind to others’ weaknesses. They are willing to forgive sins and shortcomings when they encounter them in other believers. It is truly a safe place for people who have failed or are failing.

The problem arises when grace is used as a mask for an unwillingness to confront sin and push people toward spiritual maturity.

In the Apostle Paul’s first letter to the Church in the city of Corinth, he writes about a man living in sin. A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. (1 Corinthians 5:1-5). And what makes matters worse is that the Church is proud of this. That might initially sound shocking to some Christians, but the reason they were proud is understandable. They boasted that they were full of grace toward people struggling with sin. Unfortunately, in their grace, they were unwilling to confront anything.

Paul has to write the Church and tell them to “hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh.” In other words, “Throw him out of your Church community so that he sees you will not tolerate sin, and he might change his ways.” The end goal is that “his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.”

The good news of the story is that in his second letter, Paul tells them to “forgive and comfort” this man. (2 Corinthians 2:5-11) The Church had done as Paul instructed, and the man changed his life and now pleaded for forgiveness. Paul tells the believers in that Church to show grace now that he has changed.

I fear that many times, Christians offer grace simply because they are non-confrontational and not because they want the best for the other person. Grace must walk hand in hand with repentance. Otherwise, it is not really grace but a mask for our unwillingness to be confrontational.

Lately, I have been questioning not just the content of my life but also the tone.

Is it possible to have all the correct answers and incorrectly live them?

The fruit of the Spirit of God is not anger, aggression, or arrogance. The voice of the Spirit through our lives is not loud, constantly confrontational, or out of control. This life contains very little shouting, commotion, or growling at other people.

Paul writes to the believers in the region of Galatia, and he states, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (23) gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

The fruit of the Spirit in our lives has a pleasant sound. There are smiles, laughter, and quiet tones. People are kind to one another, love abounds, and behavior is controlled.

Being a follower of Jesus means we will see Godly behavior in our actions, and it will also be heard in our tone.

This refers to the practice of behaving in an exaggerated or flamboyant manner to garner favorable attention. This phenomenon is not limited to any particular field but is often observed in various public spheres.

Consider this scenario: A preacher loudly proclaims his unwavering stance against sin. He then shares a video clip of his Sunday sermon online. In the footage, he vehemently denounces various contemporary evils, asserting that true Christians oppose such behaviors. The congregation responds with standing ovations, enthusiastic cheers, and repeated exclamations of “Hallelujah” as he passionately delivers his message from the pulpit.

What he was doing is called “grandstanding.” The preacher deliberately voices opinions he knows will resonate with his audience, primarily to appear righteous and generate a positive response. While this approach may be effective in rallying like-minded individuals, it often lacks depth and fails to address the complexities of faith and morality.

Genuine spiritual guidance often takes a different approach. This weekend, I hope you will join a faith community that focuses on exploring Jesus’ teachings and salvation rather than on creating a spectacle.

For a Church to fulfill Jesus’s Great Commission, it must reach out to a lost world with the Gospel message. Then, it must take the people who respond to that message on the journey of faith, which is called discipleship.

For that person to become a fully devoted follower of Jesus, someone or several people must intentionally nurture that new faith until the person attempts to fulfill everything that Christ commanded.

How this plays out in the life of a Church is multifaceted.

Spiritual maturity is never achieved through one method. Numerous factors at play help each new believer become like Jesus.

There needs to be practical teaching of the Bible from others, along with the development of personal habits to water the seeds of faith further. Connecting with one or two other believers in authentic and open relationships is essential for the development of faith. Finally, serving others will help us grow as we place ourselves in situations that will stretch our faith.

The point is this: no ONE thing grows a person into a mature disciple.

This is why I encourage people to do multiple things when they join the Church I lead. I want people to be in worship every week, serve regularly, connect to others in a small group, and get into a 2-3 person discipleship relationship. I teach this because I know God will use one or all of those to help someone become a complete Christian.

At my Church, we are trying to develop a plan to help everyone grow, but you really never know what God is going to use. I do not recommend you throw all your eggs in one basket and hope for maturity. The best thing for someone who wants to follow Jesus is to open yourself up to a few growth opportunities and know that God will use those to transform you to be more like Christ.

I know it is a trite expression, but that doesn’t make it any less accurate.

This statement became a regular part of my thinking when I was working with recovery programs. Whenever someone was struggling with their addiction, the response was always, “Take it one day at a time.”

When I first heard it, I thought, “Of course, you are going to take it one day at a time; that is how life comes at you.”  Slowly, I saw the logic behind it. If a person was struggling, the solution was to use all their strength of character to make it through the present day. One day of success would give way to the next and then the next. Soon, you were clean for a month, then six months, and then a year.

The truth is that no matter what your issue is, the logic still works. If you are angry, make it through today without blowing up. If you are sad, make it through today without giving up. If you are hurting, make it through today, even if there is no joy. Whatever difficult situation arises, take it one day at a time.

I hope you have big dreams for your life that will help guide your major decisions. But there will be seasons for all of us when the waters will rise, get muddy, and it will be hard to navigate. On those days, keep throwing your energy into making it through this one day until your situation changes and the future becomes clear again. 

What is your normal behavior like?

Are you usually loud and aggressive? Do you see yourself as quieter and more reserved?

Are you outgoing and involved in everything? Would you say you are more introverted?

Do you like to be in control and have the final say? Are you someone who goes along with the crowd and is generally agreeable?

There are a whole host of ways that you act that might be considered your default settings. In other words, you behave this way the majority of the time.

Here is a little secret you need to know. Your most extraordinary power is when you behave outside of your norm.

When a quiet person gets loud, it means something significant.

When an introvert shows up to your party, it demonstrates hidden emotions.

When a more controlling person allows someone else to take the lead, it is a sign of respect.

By contrast, when a person yells incessantly, it means very little.

Knowing your default settings will help you to unlock the most powerful tools in your toolkit.

The “Three Wise Monkeys” is a well-known visual depicting primates covering their eyes, ears, and mouth to embody the principle of “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” This iconic imagery has roots in ancient wisdom traditions.

Intriguingly, some representations include a fourth monkey, often portrayed with hands between his legs or sitting on its hands, symbolizing “Do no evil.” While this addition appears to be a later historical development, it complements the original trio in a thought-provoking way.

This four-monkey concept illustrates a potential progression of moral behavior: What we see and hear influences our speech, which in turn shapes our actions. The fourth monkey represents the culmination of this process – how we interact with the world and treat others. It suggests that by guarding our senses against negative influences, we can cultivate more positive behavior.

For those seeking spiritual development, this imagery prompts a critical self-reflection: “What information am I allowing to enter my life through my eyes and ears?” The answer to this question often manifests clearly in one’s words and deeds.

I was in college and went to “supply preach” at a little Church in Missouri. Amazingly, they invited me back. At the end of September 1993, I was asked if I would come back every week. Since that day, I have been preaching for 31 years.

Through that time, the world has changed dramatically with the arrival of cell phones and the internet. Computers went from being something that I might be able to use for ministry to an absolute necessity. The list of ways that being a pastor is different today is exceptionally long.

During that time, I have also changed. I have gotten married, had four children, and raised them while living in four different states. Not only has my personal life seen its share of changes, but the way I do ministry has been transformed over the years. Now, I write articles, preach without notes, and share sermons on social media.

There were two constants in those thirty-one years.

The Bible is still the inspired word of God and contains the essentials of all we believe. While the presentation may have varied, the content is still the same.

The Church is still the people of God and is composed of all who believe. While the names and faces have changed over time, the community of faith remains strong and is still doing the work of the Lord.

This Sunday, I will walk to the front of our auditorium, stand before my community of faith, and preach the Bible to them. I take comfort in the fact that if the Lord gives me another thirty-one years, those two things will remain.

If you are looking for something to build your life upon that will endure, then know that the Church is waiting for you to come and is ready to share the teachings of the Bible with you.

An accident. A trip to the emergency room. A funeral.

Performance review. Layoff. Dismissed.

Poor decision. Consequences.

These things happen to both Christians and non-Christians alike. The difference is not what happens to us but what occurs after that. How do we respond to the struggles and setbacks this life has to offer?

Every human will have similar experiences, and the way believers handle them should be vastly different from the people around them.

I don’t know what circumstance you’re in right now, but this is where your faith can grow the biggest and shine the brightest.