It was December of 1995 and I was finishing a one year ministry that had been filled with pain and heartache. The only bright spot in that year had been joining with a fellow college student to unify our two youth groups into one. We both had been having 8-10 teens in our groups but when we combined the numbers climbed to almost 30 teens each Sunday evening. Myself and C.J. really connected with the group and a couple other college students along with my wife joined in the leadership. We wrote birthday cards, encouragement cards, thank-you cards and “we miss you” cards every Sunday night after the group was over. We regularly prayed for the teens and the struggles they were having. It was a powerful year with one student giving their life to the Lord and several rededications to living the Christian life.

Unfortunately my interactions with the adults in my congregation had not gone so well. We could not see eye to eye on anything concerning the Church. They thought I should perform miracles and I thought they should at least come every week to worship. It all came to a head at a meeting where we voted to change the by-laws. To that point, everyone who had been baptized in the Church was a member. All male members were deacons. I mean all. Finally, all deacons could attend any board meeting. The sad issue was that we had men coming to Church once a month or less and then attending board meetings. There was no spiritual depth and every decisions was hard-fought including the one to fix the baptistery. The sump pump issue was a 3 month ordeal that almost ended in a fight. It was awful in every way so I had suggested we adopt a more biblical model. We invited in a professor who walked us through what the Bible said and made suggestions. The elders and I drew up a new plan and then presented it to the board. Suddenly several men realized that to change the by-laws would mean they would no longer be on the board since we made deacons meet the Biblical requirement. Then on one Sunday night in November we held a vote about the by-laws and every man in the congregation showed up to vote. That night with one quick meeting the Bible was voted down and the men kept their position. With that done, I sat down and prayed and handed in my resignation.

The final Sunday was a moment of relief. I was finally going to get out of a bad situation for me and my wife in ministry and look for greener pastures. There was only two families in the Church who had become friends and they knew exactly why I was leaving. But then there was that youth group. Over 30 teenagers who I cared for deeply and I wished the very best for them. What was I going to say to them? Well, I gave them a brief explanation as to why I was leaving and assured them it had nothing to do with them. I then taught them one principle that helped me appreciate our time together and I hope helped them too. I still hold onto this lesson today. I told them this; “We will never know the amount of good we do in our lives on this side of heaven.” I explained to them that I did not know what would happen to most of them but I prayed for the best.

Would they remember me? Would they remember anything I taught? Would they remember the late Sunday night conversations? Would they remember the cards? Was my time with them wasted?

Honestly, I have no idea the answer to any of those questions. I have never heard a single word from any of those teenagers in the 20 years since that lesson. My life moved on and so did theirs. Deep down inside I hope my time was not wasted on them during that year, but I really will never know.

The result of much of the service we give to Jesus in the Christian life is unknown. We will never know the lives we touch. We will never know the impact of our presence. We will never know the lessons people have learned from us. We will never know how our service helped another person to know God. We will never know the details of what has been done for God. Ministry is something we can measure – how many lessons taught, small groups hosted, and the number of people who attended. The impact of a ministry is unmeasurable. For those of us who serve God on a regular basis we have come to live with the unknown.