Let me be 100% honest about the topic of telling the truth. (Seems like a good thing for me to do.) Here it is, “I have a really hard time telling the truth.” There I said it. Before you get all judgmental please hear me out.

Numerous people come to me over the course of a month asking for Biblical insight or Christian advice. They tell me their story of struggle and pain. They open up about some deep issue in their life. Then they wait for my response. Here is my struggle; so many times I want to tell them the completely honest and brutal truth. But something inside me holds me back. If I tell them the complete truth as I see it they will get angry with me, will it hurt their spirit, will it lead to confrontation, or will it simply kill the relationship? I struggle with this. I bet if you were honest, you do too.

I mean, do you tell people they have a difficult personality? Do you tell them their children really are not angels? Do you confront people with the dumb choices they are making right now? Where do you draw the line between truth and love?

Paul writes to the Church in Ephesus and says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) The context of this passage is about unity in the faith and also about growing up in Christ. I believe his statement is a reflection of both sides of this issue. Telling the truth will help people to grow and doing it in love will keep people unified.

It is a tough line to walk. I struggle with it every week if not every day. Here are a few questions I continually ask myself about speaking the truth in love.

1. Is what I am going to say helping this person grow as a believer?

2. Am I speaking for their benefit or just to get my feelings out?

3. Does the Bible say anything specifically about this issue so that I am resting on God’s word and not my own opinion?

4. If I speak from my opinions am I alone in my stance or do other people feel the same way?

5. Is there a chance I will regret what I am going to say?

6. Is there a strong enough relationship between us that they will accept what I am going to say? (Maybe someone else should tell them

7. Is this the right time and/or right place? Should I say this by myself privately or with a few other people to support me?

8. Will my comments reflect both a desire for unity and for growth?

9. Will this person listen if I speak the truth in love?

10. Have I asked God for wisdom in prayer?

These are some of the questions I ask. Maybe you have better ones. The truth is a hard topic that needs dealt with in a loving way. How do you do that? As a pastor I want to see people grow in their walk with the Lord Jesus and I know that means we sometimes must speak hard truth. As an introvert I really just want to avoid it. Ultimately as a follower of Jesus I must speak the truth and do it in helpful ways – you do too.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Here are some articles worth taking a look at this weekend:

5 Things Christians Pretend Jesus Said

10 Signs Your Marriage is Drifting

How a Marriage Can Survive the Worst

11 Ways to Be the Church for Those Who Don’t Go to Church

Nobody Cares How Hard You Work

With this being “Pastor Apprectiation Month” (Ugh!) there are several articles about pastors being written. I thought these articles were insightful and a little different than what you normally hear.

How Should Senior Pastors Dress On Sunday Mornings? (Or “Who Is This Church For?”)

10 THINGS PASTORS SAY ONLY TO OTHER PASTORS

The Person Who Has Been Burned Worst By Church Might Be the Guy Giving the Sermon

That Stat that Says Pastors are All Miserable and Want to Quit (Interesting insights on the statistics we use)

The following is a story shared by Brian Jones at BrianJones.com. Enjoy

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I’ll never forget where Tattoo Man lived: corner apartment, right-hand side, directly in front of the broken-down Chevy El Camino. He made quite an impression the first day I met him as I made my way down the line of apartments, handing out food and praying for people. I knocked on his door and waited forever. Eventually I heard his gruff smoker’s voice: “Yeah, what do you want?”

“I want to show you God’s love in a practical way. Do you happen to need some groceries and prayer?” With lightning speed he opened the door, snatched the bag of groceries, and slammed the door. “Okay!” I shouted. “We’ll pray next time.”

Two weeks later the same thing happened. When I knocked on his door, he grabbed the food so fast I didn’t even get a look at his face. I snapped my fingers and said, “Got me again!” The next time, however, I was much quicker. As soon as he lunged for the groceries, I stepped back and said, “Why don’t I pray for you first?”

He slowly walked outside. He was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, and he was covered with tattoos, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. I’m not talking about a few tattoos here and there—every inch of his body was covered with them, hence the nickname.

“You want to do what?” he asked.

“I’d like to pray for you. Is there anything that’s weighing on your heart?”

He stretched and yawned and said, “Man, its early . . . um . . . I don’t know . . . uh . . . how ’bout my son? That’s it. Pray for my son. He’s in a track meet today. Pray that he makes me proud.”

I placed my hand on Tattoo Man’s shoulder and prayed that God would help his son run to the best of his ability and bring him and his dad closer together. Without saying a word, he grabbed the groceries and slammed the door behind him. I walked away and said, “That’s a start.”

A few weeks later when I approached Tattoo Man’s apartment again, he didn’t wait for me to knock. He ran outside and said, “Religious Guy, never thought you’d come by again. My son, you know the one you prayed for, he made it to the sectionals! I need you to pull down some favors with, you know, the Big Man.”

I said, “Let’s see what we can do.” Placing my hand on his shoulder, I prayed again. As soon as I finished, he picked up the groceries, gave me a thumbs up, smiled, and walked inside—a big improvement from any previous visit.

The next time, Tattoo Man was waiting for me outside on the porch. “The regionals!” he yelled. “He’s going to the regionals! I’m so stoked! Let’s pray again.”

I sat down next to him and said, “How about you? I’d like to pray for you first. If Jesus were sitting right here, what would you ask him for?”

He looked down at the ground and mumbled, “I’d ask him to help me get off cocaine and get a job. I have to get out of this place. I’d ask him to help me be there for my kids. I want to make my son proud.”

When I knocked on his door a few weeks later, Tattoo Man yelled, “He’s in the state championship today! Right now to be exact. Mile relay. He’s gonna win. I can feel it.”

As I stood there listening to him brag about his son, I couldn’t help but picture a young kid on one of the biggest days of his life, looking up at an empty bleacher seat where his father should have been. Had I known Tattoo Man wasn’t going to be at that track meet, I would have taken him myself, but it was too late. I was so sad and frustrated by the whole situation that I couldn’t even pray. I just reached over and hugged my friend, reminding him of his prayer to make his son proud.

Soon afterwards Tattoo Man disappeared. I didn’t hear from him for quite some time.

But two years later, at a different apartment complex, I turned a corner and a huge man bumped right into me. I looked up and said, “Tattoo Man?”

“Door-knocking Pastor Guy!?” he screamed, and picked me off the ground and shook me up and down so hard I almost passed out.

I couldn’t believe it. I said, “How in the world are you doing? I lost track of you.”

“Yeah, I went down a bad road,” he said, “but God worked a miracle. Look at me. I’ve got a job doing maintenance at this apartment complex. I met a wonderful Christian woman, started attending church, and last year I became a Christian. Best of all I’m completely clean from cocaine, and I’m a real dad again. You started it all. Thank you.”

I felt an incredible swell of pride, the way I feel when one of my daughters sings at a school concert or scores a goal in a soccer game. I put my hand on his shoulder, looked him in the eye and said, “I knew you could do it. I just knew it.”

Galatians 6:9 says: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Do you believe that?

After a conversation with a Church attendee the other day I wrote this phrase on a sheet of paper:

“Beware of any faith in God that does not require you to change your thoughts or your actions or the way you deal with other people. You might be building a faith in a God of your own imagination and not the God of the Bible.”

Through my years of Church leadership I have been a part of some really amazing ministries. I have also been a part of several ministries that struggled to survive. Honestly, there have been more struggles than successes.

My question is, “What does a Church member do when they see a ministry has problems?”

Here are the three biggest solutions I have seen:

1. Talk about the Problem. This can go one of two directions. First, this conversation can be constructive criticism that is helpful. You see a problem and offer a suggestion that might improve the ministry for the future. Be careful that this does not just end with a lot of talk and no one doing anything.

Second, this dialog can simply be a time of complaining. These people know something is wrong and have no idea how to improve it. They just want to vocalize their frustration in often negative ways.

2. Keep Quiet about the Problem. Usually everyone knows there is a problem and yet no one seems to say anything. I used to wonder why this happened but I have come to a simple conclusion. If we say there is a problem then we might be expected to help improve it. If we just keep quiet then no one will expect anything out of us.

Quite often this leads to people ending their involvement in a ministry. Even then people are hesitant to voice their concerns so they gloss it over with some nice phrase. They, “Need a break” or they are “Getting burned out” or they “Must focus on their family right now.” These are acceptable reasons for quitting and no one questions the real motives.

3. Pitch in and Help Fix the Problem. This is the one that scares most people. We would love to see the Church have high-powered, life changing ministry but we really do not want to make it happen ourselves. I love those people who see a problem, talk about it with a few people and then jump in and fix things.

The one drawback is that your way of doing things will have problems too. So we need more than one person willing to make a difference to really change a ministry.

Every Church has a lot of flaws and there are a number of really great ministries that are struggling. You see it. I see it. The real question is whether we are going to do to be a part of the solution. Which response are you going to choose? No wait, which one are you already choosing?

Being a Pastor is a unique job. I am not going to tell you it is the toughest job in the world as I hear so often at Pastor’s conferences, but it is unique. I have been thinking about all of the unique parts of being a pastor and a few might interest or even surprise you.

1. Almost everyone knows me. This is especially true since I have children in school. I meet people in the supermarket and they call me by name. There is this moment of panic as I try to think about the person’s name and where I know them. People have heard me at funerals, at worship, at public functions, through the school and a dozen other ways. I am always up front and I do not get to meet everyone personally, but they still know me. It creates many awkward situations and scenarios.

2. I Am Jack of All Trades (maybe master of none). Sometimes I read scripture, pray, mop the floor, write a sermon, offer marital counseling, select songs for worship, teach teenagers about God and plunger the toilet. Honestly, I did all of those a week ago on a Wednesday and Thursday. This week I will do very spiritual things. I will also lock doors, empty trash, clean up bugs by the front door, write blogs, watch worship related videos, read articles on the internet, catch a webinar and a dozen other things – most of which Bible College did not prepare me to do.

3. Many of my conversations are very awkward. This is caused by numerous issues. Sometimes I know intimate details about a person and their struggles and it makes for an odd talk in the Church lobby. Sometimes people just don’t know what to say to a pastor. Sometimes people say things that they think are inappropriate and it creates an uneasy tension. Should a pastor always end his conversations with a prayer?

4. People who attend Church remember little things I have long forgotten. Each week I share stories from my life and experiences as sermon illustrations. Quite often someone will hear one of those stories and it will touch their life and they will remember it. A year later they will be talking to me and say “It’s like you and bananas.” I have to think about what this person is talking about and how they know that about it. It is extremely possible that your knowledge of me and my life far surpasses my knowledge of you.

5. I hate pastor appreciation month. Fathers, mothers and grandparents all get a day. Pastors get a month. It creates this awkward tension because it so promoted on Christian radio. Then some Churches go over the top with their show of appreciation that it makes other Churches look like they do not care. Here is the deal – 100% honest – if you want to show me appreciation in October each year – Attend every Sunday. That is the single greatest show of respect. If you do not think that is enough. Then get involved and do something. Still not enough? Then bring your friends to worship with you. These actions are the greatest forms of appreciation. Seriously!

I know there are other parts of my job that people would find unique. I can come back and add to my list later. But for now, think on these things. And thanks for letting me be your pastor.

For the last 5 weeks our Church has been going through a series of sermons entitled “Finding Your Way Back to God.” The idea for the series is from Community Christian Church in Illinois. Dave and Jon Ferguson also have a book by the same title that was the product of preaching this series in their Church.

This is my first really big series here at Adrian Christian Church and this is by far the most promotion I have done for a sermon series since 2008. So I have been thinking about all the lessons I have learned through the last few weeks.

1. People are looking for a time to bring their friends to Church. We have been blessed to have many people invite others for this series. One week we had 208 people here for worship. That is second only to VBS Sunday and more than Easter.

2. The support of people has been outstanding. One person donated printed cards for us to give away. Another person put the card in the local paper each week. People have pitched in with spreading the word.

3. Guests are very hesitant to share their information. We have only had a few people turn in connection cards with their personal information. Everyone is leery of junk mail, uninvited guests and spam email. Personal information is tough to get.

4. Getting people to stay in a Church takes more than one good sermon or series. People’s lives are busy and cluttered. It is hard to get them to return to Church or make any type of commitment. Even if they like Church and are touched by the sermon it doesn’t mean they will return. In fact, usually the people who are the most excited about a Church after one visit never return or fizzle out quick. It takes a long time to make a Christian impact on other people.

5. God is still working. Just because our Church didn’t grow to 500 through one series or your friend/relative did not accept Christ does not mean we failed. There have been a number of seeds planted that will possibly produce fruit one day.

The effects of a big series like this are hard to measure. Good things have happened in our Church and in people’s lives far beyond what we may see at first glance. The future at ACC looks bright and I am excited for the next big thing … which is Christmas 🙂

Thanks to anyone who reads this blog. It started as a way to capture my thoughts and illustrations for future use or reflection. It has grown into a practice that stretches me toward critical thinking about my beliefs, my actions and the deep parts of my life.

This past week I traveled to Indiana to see my parents and then bring them back to Missouri to see my boys. They have never seen my boys play Jr. High or JV or Varsity football. Six months ago my dad had a stroke and he has improved greatly but still struggles with his speech and a lack of energy. I have been trying to help him in every way possible. For example, while in Indiana I roto-tilled his garden and cut several large limbs for him. That is why I drove to get them and bring them back.

As a result I have not had much time to blog but I have had a lot of time to think.

Here is what is on my mind right this moment –

1. Love the people in your life. I am so thankful my dad is still alive. Just seeing him brings me joy. Tell the people around you that you love them. No one knows what tomorrow brings.

2. Pray for the people in your life. My dad has come a long way and still has a long way to go. I am thankful for everyone who has prayed for him and continues to do so.

3. Live for the only thing that matters. No matter what happens to my mom or dad in the next few years. I rest in the fact that they love the Lord. Their life has been marked by love, compassion, service, leadership and faith in their family and their church.

I am going to be writing my blog again each day and hope that I challenge or encourage each of you. I will also be spending time with my family and savoring every minute God gives me. I hope you do the same.

I am not sure about the first line. Although some people have said I am “Special.”

But the second line is definitely true!!

I am a preacher who spends a great deal of time each week preparing a sermon that will be encouraging and challenging while teaching about the Bible and faith in God. It is a big task that takes at least 8-12 hours each week. Then on Sunday I spend around 30 minutes of our time together speaking the words I have prepared. So I believe the sermon is an important part of Christian community.

With that said, I want to be clear to people that being a part of a Church is much more than hearing a sermon each week. In fact, I believe a life of faith is developed as much in all the other parts of Sunday morning as the sermon.

Each week I get to –

1. Fellowship with Other Believers. I love the opportunity to talk with people who have a faith like I do.

2. Vocalize My Praise of God in Song. I am not good at it, but I still love to do it.

3. Pray with a Community of Believers. I appreciate people who pray with me and even for me.

4. Commune with God at the Lord’s Supper. This is one of the central things our Church does each and every week.

5. Share My Gifts and Talents in Service. You can sing, teach and help in a variety of ways. The Church is built on volunteer service.

6. Hear & See the Lives and Stories of Other Believers. I appreciate the lives of our senior saints who have gone through so much. I also appreciate our young people who are trying to remain faithful with so much temptation.

7. A Chance to Share My Faith as Evangelism. Someone new will be at Church most weeks and I have the chance to share the message of Jesus – if only in my actions.

8. An Opportunity to Give Financially to the Cause of Christ. I want to share in the work of the Lord beyond Sunday morning. It takes money to do that.

9. Connect with One Another. Laugh with those who laugh and cry with those who cry. I love the hour of connection I have after worship each week.

10. Be a part of a group making a difference in the world. For example, our Church is currently collecting items to go in shoe boxes to be sent overseas.

I love the sermon each week and I fear many people have come to think of that one thing as Church. As a result they listen to the sermon on our website, they catch a sermon on TV or even hear one in the car and think they have had a Church experience. I believe that Church is much more and to miss a worship program on Sunday is to miss much of what a Church has to offer.