When people come to me for counseling, it is usually because they are hurting inside. These pains can come from things like the loss of a loved one, separation in relationships, personal failure and poor decisions. Regularly people pour out their heart and soul with stories that generate tears filled with deep emotion.

After I hear about their pain, I pose some different possibilities to them. First, sometimes pain comes from open wounds. These types of injuries are still fresh and hurt the most. What lies underneath is exposed and open to the world. They feel a sense of agony every time something brush up against it.

The second possibility of pain comes from a wound that is covered with a scab and is healing. These types of issues still hurt, but they are recovering. The initial shock is gone. The cut is clean, and while things are improving, they are still not finished mending.

Then I tell them about scars. Scars are wounds we have received from past hurts that no longer bring constant pain. Occasionally, if we dwell on them long enough, the pain feels real in the present, but the continual suffering is gone.

Finally, I ask them how they would evaluate their current situation. Is this an open wound, a healing hurt or a scar? Once they understand the situation, then I ask them what they think it will take to move their pain to the next phase. Like a doctor of the soul, I want them to regain emotional health and spiritual wholeness.

The tendency of people is that they make one of two mistakes. On the one hand, they have never addressed the wound. They blame other people, make excuses or try to avoid the hurt they have in their life. Occasionally this has gone on for years. On the other hand, many people like picking at the scab. They start on the road to recovery, and they do something that opens the cut and makes it start bleeding again.

Healing in life is not about removing all the consequences of our mistakes. It is about making open injuries into scars. There will be a scar left on our souls, but the pain is gone, and life can return to normal.

Most of the people I know who walk the road of faith have big scars. Their pain was once tremendous, and they thought they were going to die. In those times of hurt they worked toward healing and are here today as better people even with the ugly past still haunting them.

Everyone gets hurt; the great physician wants to fix you. What will it take to turn your pain into a scar?

When the Israelites leave Egypt after their period of slavery, God is concerned about the mental state of his people. In Exodus chapter 13 he leads them away from the country of the Philistines which would be the shortest and most direct way to the land of Canaan. God fears that “if they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt (Ex. 13:17).” As a result, he has them go south toward the Red Sea. Now you probably know the rest of the story, the Egyptians set out in pursuit and catch the Israelites at the edge of the water. The people fear for their lives and cry out to God. The pillar of cloud that had been out in front of the people now moves behind them and separates them from Pharaoh and his army.

I think about that picture regularly. The Israelites standing together with the Egyptians on one side and the Red Sea on the other side. They are trapped between the proverbial rock and a hard place. Where do you turn when you have nowhere to turn?

You know the rest of the story. Moses stretches out his hands, and God causes a strong east wind to blow and push back the water. The people walk over on dry ground to safety. The waters recede, and the army is crushed under the weight of their armor and the rushing water. Everyone is saved, and they walk away free, safe and happy.

The story inspires and encourages us, but it is easy to forget when our struggles are closing in on us. We know how the story of the Israelites ends, but we have no idea how ours reaches completion. Whenever we stand surrounded by evil on one side and hopelessness on the other, there is this feeling of defeat that overwhelms us. I am sure when Moses walked up on the rock and held out his hands declaring to the people, “Trust God,” that some of the people in the crowd laughed in disbelief. I know some of them doubted they would find a way out and felt like Moses was an optimistic fool for his faith in God amid such an impossible situation. Trusting an unseen God when all hope is lost seems like a useless venture that crazy people make.

Here is my growing belief. God puts us into moments like these so that we will learn to place our faith in him entirely. If we can find a way out on our own, then we do not need God. If our hard work and optimism can defeat the enemies, then we will never turn to God. Impossible situations are made for us to trust the one who makes all things possible.

The moment all hope is lost means only that all hope is lost in ourselves. It is in the darkest moments that the light of faith shines brightest.

If you feel like you have reached the edge of the sea and the army is closing in behind you, then you are not near destruction. Instead, you are closest to faith. God cannot open the sea for you until you realize that you need him alone. Faith grows more in struggles than in seasons in blessing. Sure, some people will call you foolish and crazy, but that is because they have not been beside the sea yet.

Keep trusting that God will show up once again. He will show you a way forward just like he did for Israel.

I recently spent a few hours reading several articles that were posted as links on social media. These links lead to different authors and materials, and soon I had absorbed more than a dozen posts from all over the internet. Repeatedly I kept saying to myself something like, “Wow, that is really wrong.”

The writers of the New Testament continually warned the Church against false teachers, false doctrine and false prophets. Even Jesus himself warned his followers by saying, “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. (Matthew 7:15 – New International Version 2011).

Being on your guard against false spiritual information sounds easy, but it is difficult to keep from being seduced by a gifted speaker with a kind face. Here are a few simple questions to remember when you hear anyone speaking about matters of the soul.

1. Do they use the Bible? Ask yourself, “Is this person using the Bible?” If not, that is a huge red flag. I say this because I have read countless sermons and posts on the internet where the Bible is completely ignored. Just because someone says an article is Christian, does not make it so, only the word of God can bring clarity.

2. Do they use the Bible in context? The meaning of a passage from the Bible is found in its context. Ask yourself these basic questions: To who was the passage written? At what point in history was it written (Old or New Testament, before or after Jesus)? What was said right before and right after the quoted passage? Many times, words and phrases are pulled out of context, and the meaning is changed to fit a modern idea. Remember Satan quoted the Bible to Jesus, but he misused it.

3. Does the teaching have historical support? People have been teaching the Bible for thousands of years. Yes, at times it has been misunderstood by some, but most of it has been agreed upon for hundreds of years. Anytime someone has a new interpretation on an old verse, that is a huge red flag. Do some digging and read some dead authors to get their thoughts.

4. Does the teacher’s life reflect Jesus? I know that appearances are deceiving so you must look carefully. How does the person respond to people who disagree with their teaching? How do they handle other people’s opinions? Things like name-calling, shaming, anger, abuse, belittling, inflated ego and a host of other issues point to a personal problem. Be careful with people proclaiming Jesus but continually show evil in their behavior. Jesus said, “you will know them by the fruit.”

5. Is this making someone rich? My friend used to say, “follow the money.” If someone is making mountains of cash because of their teaching, that is another huge red flag. Many times, people are not interested in your soul, they are interested in a life of leisure and a nice retirement. Controversy sells, and if you can find the right category of people to target, the best seller list is easy to achieve. Also be cautious with sex, fame, and power as these are equally destructive forces.

These are some of the fundamental questions that I ask. Do you have anything that you would add to my list? I recently heard a preacher say that one of the biggest challenges facing the Church is the amount of false teaching being spread today. I believe he is right and a few hours on the internet confirmed my suspicions. Remember to be wise and on your guard lest you be devoured by those with evil intent who destroy people’s faith in the name of Jesus.

The snow and ice this winter have resulted in several Sunday mornings in which we canceled our Church’s worship programs. Finally, yesterday the weather was better, and we were able to resume meeting together as a Church. Usually, Sunday mornings exhaust me because of my introvert nature but yesterday invigorated me. I was excited to see people and have numerous conversations that brought joy to my heart.

Typically on Sundays like this, my mind focuses on the selfish aspects of being a part of a Church. This day when I sat down on the front row, I wondered to myself, “do these people know how much of a blessing they are to me?” Immediately my mind went to a passage of scripture.

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, (25) not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (New International Version 2011)

I have used this passage repeatedly to instruct people to come to Church gatherings so that they might give of themselves to others. The emphasis is on what we have to offer other people. We are not called to attend Church for what we can get but rather what we can give. As a result of passages like this, most Sundays my life is focused on providing everything possible to other people. I share my thoughts, my ears, and my heart with people to encourage them. That is why I am usually exhausted at the end of Sunday.

Yesterday I was the recipient of the gifts other people are to me. They encouraged me. They spoke kindly to me and about me. They listened and loved. At the end of the day, I went home with my heart full of the joy of the Lord.

It is easy to think of Church and wonder, “what do I get out of Church today.” I would love for you to know that even if you do not receive anything on Sunday, other people were blessed by your presence. Some weeks you give, and some weeks you receive. You never know which one is going to happen. Yesterday I gave a little, and I received a lot. I am so thankful for people who show up in the name of the Lord because I am a life that was blessed.

I am a part of a pastor’s social media group that was put together by Church consultant Dave Jacobs. Dave spends numerous hours working with Churches all over the country from different denominations. Many days he calls on pastors to discuss their situation and offer coaching advice. After most of these calls, he then posts a “coaching takeaway” for the rest of us to learn from his interactions. Here are ten of the best ones I have read over the past year. They apply far beyond just Church leadership, and I thought you might learn something from them too. Enjoy.

1. They say when God closes one door He opens another. That can be true, but it’s those dark halls between the two doors that are scary.

2. When a church is doing well and growing the people’s confidence in their pastor increases. This may be warranted, or maybe not. When a church is struggling, or not growing, the people’s confidence in their leader decreases. This may be warranted, or maybe not.

3. You never really know how open to change people will be until you change something … and then it’s too late.

4. It’s amazing how one or two trouble-makers in a church can sabotage the whole momentum and goals of the church. Some people just need to go, and the pastor’s reluctance to set this in motion perpetuates the problem.

5. Coming up with good ideas is not the problem. Coming up with a wise, well-thought-out plan for implementation is the problem.

6. When someone brings you an idea, you are under no obligation to say yes or no to it right there and then.

7. Never process anything of significance by yourself.

8. You won’t find out if you are someone’s pastor until you tell them “no.” How a person handles “no” tells you a lot about that person.

9. When we’re (or are leaders) under pressure, when we feel squeezed, whatever is inside will come out. This is the problem with character, it doesn’t show up until something comes up.

10. When Christians visit your church and express an interest, they are either running from something or running to something. It’s helpful to know which it is.

*Bonus – Both Pastors and parishioners are broken. We’re all in this together.

My annual Bible reading plan has me in the book of Numbers this week. I had forgotten all the great stories in that book. This week one of them jumped out at me like never before.

The people of Israel send spies out into the land of Canaan. They return with a good report about the land, but ten of the spies are also convinced they will all die if they try to fight its inhabitants. Only two, Caleb and Joshua, trust that God will take care of them in this new promised land like he did down in Egypt. God is disappointed with his people, and they will be confined to the wilderness until one whole generation dies and they will take possession of the land.

If you had listened to a children’s sermon when you were growing up, you are familiar with this narrative. In fact, there is even a song about this event where you sing out, “Ten were bad, and two were good.” It is a defining story in the history of the people of God.

I had never noticed until this week the story that follows the spying out of the land. Moses tells the people of God’s anger and disappointment. Suddenly a group of men has a change of heart. They see their sin and want to suddenly make things right. They decide to go up into the land and take it by force without God’s approval. Moses warns them, and they choose to go up anyway.

Then there is this interesting line in Numbers 14:44, “Nevertheless, in their presumption, they went up …” (New International Version 2011). Other translations say, “they presumed” and the message paraphrases the statement by saying they went up, “recklessly and arrogantly.” In other words, they assumed that since they claimed to be the people of God that he would be with them in whatever they did. They presumed that God would show up and save them even though they were outside of his will. They did whatever they wanted to do and believed God would bless it.

The people go up, and the Amalekites and the Canaanites came out and “beat them down.” The people were completely wrong in their presumption.

This passage caught my attention because it sounds like so many people I know in the Church. They do whatever they want and presume that God is in it. They hope and assume God will show up without ever considering his word. They make their plans, have their goals and pursue their dreams and just believe God will bless it.

Following God means that sometimes our plans are changed, our goals are removed, and our dreams do not come true. He is leading us, and we are called to follow him. We are not to ask God to follow us on our grand adventures but submit to his will no matter how difficult it might be at the moment. We are not to presume that God is going to give us whatever we want. Faith is about trusting God even when we must spend forty years in the wilderness because of our failures.

I am not trying to raise bad kids either.

I am putting all my effort into raising children who follow Jesus.

Here is the harsh truth; you can raise a child to say please and thank you, show proper respect to their elders, work hard and tell the truth and they can be very far from God.

The Bible is clear that the people who get into heaven for eternity are those who follow Jesus Christ, not good people. Two verses underline this truth. John 14:6 says “I am the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to the father but through me.” Then in Ephesians 2:8-9 it states that we are “saved by grace … not by works, so that no man can boast.” Jesus is the key to eternity, and he is only received through faith and not good works.

I believe it is infinitely harder to raise a believer than a good kid. The goal is not just to keep them from sinning, but for them to understand that their failures are why we need the grace of Jesus. It is a struggle to get them to see sin from God’s eyes and not the worlds. It pushes my wife and me toward a faith community called Church and away from anything that disrupts that relationship. It means I must have difficult conversations about God’s direction and design for their lives in the face of failure and success. It spills into who they date and how. The life of a believer is not about a few good behaviors that our society approves. It is about total surrender to God.

Sure, following Jesus means doing the right thing as God desires. That includes loving your neighbor and offering comfort to strangers. It also means they will teach the truth and fight for God’s will in this world. As a result, some people will see you as good while others see you as evil. Remember that Jesus was loved by some and hated and crucified by others. To walk the way of Christ we should expect the same thing for our children and for us.

I don’t want to raise children that people praise as being good or hate for being bad. I want people to see their life and know their faith is in the Lord.

If when I die my children are not followers of Jesus, then I will have failed as a parent, even if everyone stands up and says how good my children are as people.

Jesus frequently mentions the small number of people who will follow him as fully devoted believers. In the Sermon on the Mount, he mentions a narrow way that leads to life, and he says that few people find it. He tells his disciples that the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. After one of his sermons where he teaches about the bread of life, the crowds turn and walk away and only his handful remains to follow.

I remind myself of this fact of faith in those moments when I don’t feel like I fit in with the crowd. There are those moments when my ideas and opinions appear to run contrary to everyone else. I have experienced times when I refused to make my life all about money or children or sports and have felt all alone in my convictions. My heart sinks when people for whom I care leave me behind because they know I will not agree with their actions. Some days I feel like everyone I know has the same point of view and mine is so drastically different. There are times when I feel alone in my faith.

The story of Elijah in the Old Testament is a comfort to me. He has this mountain top experience where is literally able to call down the fire of God. Shortly after evil people set out in pursuit to kill him, he finds himself alone in a cave, and God speaks to him in a still small voice. That alone is a powerful story with all kinds of application for us today. Finally, Elijah says to God that all the Israelites have prostrated themselves to idols. Elijah feels all alone in his faith.

At that moment God says something that is unexpected. He tells Elijah that seven thousand people have not bowed their knee to the idol Baal or worshiped him (1 Kings 19:18). One historian says that means 99% of Israel had allowed idolatry into their life. Roughly less than one percent of all the people in Israel had not bowed down in the worship that God abhorred.

But that one percent was enough to encourage Elijah and help him to get up and serve the Lord again. He needed to know he was not alone. He did not need all of Israel to support him, but he needed someone.

Maybe today you need the same thing. You need to know that you are not alone. When you refuse to allow your life to be contaminated by the world, you are not alone. You may not have an overwhelming amount of support as a Christian, but be encouraged as there is someone out there fighting the same battles and living for God. You may not know them or see them every day, but they are still present in the world. There may be many people who truly follow Jesus, but there are a few. You are not alone.

In over 25 years of ministry, I have had to cancel Church 14 times for snow and ice. Then I started my 26th year of ministry, and it has been unlike any other. So far in 2019, we have had to cancel three times; once for snow, once for ice and one time the ice and snow caused a power outage. A fourth time we were forced to cancel our first worship program and only have our second one with whoever could attend. About half of the regular attendees showed up, and we were able to worship and fellowship with some of the congregation.

Ours has not been the only congregation affected by the weather this year. Almost everyone in a 25-mile radius of our area has been forced to cancel repeatedly. With that said, here are a few things you need to know about a Church when they cancel worship on Sunday morning.

1. The Safety of the Congregation is Our Top Priority. Numerous issues go into the decision to cancel worship on Sunday. The number one issue is the safety of our people. Most Churches, including mine, have several senior citizens who are at risk when they are out in slick conditions. That is not to mention mothers with infants, those who are sick and teenager drivers with no experience in snow and ice. We cancel to keep people safe.

2. Finances are Affected. Fortunately, our Church does not live from offering to offering, but many do budget that way. We have missed three and a half weeks here at my Church. Imagine if your family did not get paid for one month. What would it do to your finances? It does the same or worse for Churches. That reality affects the ministries they support in all its forms. Ministry expenses do not cease when we cancel on Sunday. Please keep that in mind.

3. Momentum is Lost. Ask any person of faith, and they will tell you that the two biggest days on the church calendar are Christmas and Easter. In between those two days most congregations experience growth and life change as new people come to worship and make decisions to follow Jesus. Our Church had two interested families in the weeks of Christmas and following, now with all the cancellations we have not seen them and may not see them again. Spring is on the way, but so is summer and everyone leaving on vacation.

4. The Fellowship Suffers. It is hard to be a Christian community when you see each other only once or twice a month. Not only have had to cancel worship, but we have canceled fellowship meals, small groups, Bible studies, and youth group. People need to be together to remain a cohesive group.

5. It is Not a Vacation for a Preacher. While I do not preach on Sunday, I am still working all week. Even my Sunday involves getting up early so I can text and call numerous people, then we have to notify everyone of the decision. This week I spent most of the rest of Sunday making adjustments and working on projects. The reason I mention this is because I was planning an actual vacation in May and I know some people will not understand as I had all these weeks off. I know these feelings are not mine alone, but every preacher affected by this winter.

I am not asking for pity. I just want everyone to know the facts. These issues will impact the Churches in my area this winter and well into the rest of the year. I know that God will work through all of this mess, at the very least I am learning to be more patient and trusting.

I have read several great articles and posts lately. Enjoy

Famous Christian Quotes . . . That Aren’t Real

When Being ‘Relatable’ Does Damage

Love in Africa: It Costs You Something

Go to church — even when you don’t feel like it

4 INGREDIENTS OF A GOOD APOLOGY

HELP AND HEALING FOR THOSE IMPACTED BY SUICIDE – My friend Rusty had a staff member commit suicide. He put this together for his staff and Church. You might find it helpful.