I’m not particularly eager to use the words “friendship” or “relationship” when speaking about people in the Church. My preferred word is “connection.” I want people to connect to one another, feel connected, and make a meaningful personal connection.

What does it mean to make a connection?

First is to demonstrate to someone, “I see you.”  Most of the people I know are hiding in plain sight. They keep quiet, stand in the back, and do nothing to draw attention to themselves. There is an extraordinary power in making someone feel seen, and it states that I value you as a person.

Second is to subtly say, “I have room for you.”   Putting down your phone, making eye contact, engaging with a question, smiling, and giving someone your time are powerful gestures of inclusion. Let people know you are glad they are present, and include them in your conversation.

Finally, it is to “actively follow up.” All of us have met someone who made us feel special in the moment, and then we never saw them again. Drop a text, possibly make a call, sit with them the next time you see them, and even actively seek the other person out when you are in the same place. These actions demonstrate that you genuinely have room in your life for them. 

I truly believe that if you open your eyes, mind, and heart to other people, you can find someone to connect with. All of us are looking, but few find anyone looking back in return. You can be a walking demonstration of what it means to love one another as a Christian by doing these three simple things.