Whenever I talk to someone about sharing their faith with a family member, friend, coworker, or neighbor, my advice is always the same. I tell them to pay close attention to open doors and closed doors for a discussion of religion.

Open doors are times when the person you are trying to reach starts talking about something spiritual. This can be as simple as mentioning a scene they saw on TV to something as complex as a theological question. In that moment, they open up their minds to a discussion of the things of God. This is your opportunity to talk and talk and talk.

Closed doors are when that same person stops talking about anything spiritual and often changes the subject. That means the doors have closed, and they no longer have a desire to converse about faith. It is time to stop talking and move on to the next thing.

This is critical because people have strong convictions, and they want people around them to know what they believe. The result is that they bulldoze every conversation toward faith, and people begin to resent the discussion. The other option is that their loved one starts talking, and they want to share everything they know, even when the door closes. Which also has a negative result.

Well-intentioned people find themselves frustrated that they cannot make headway in sharing Jesus. Often, they describe it as “hitting their head against a wall.” The reason is that you have run headfirst into a closed door.

One goal for every Christian is to develop a well-trained “gospel ear.” You can listen for phrases, questions, comments, and stories that open the door to spiritual conversations. It can also help you to know when to keep your mouth shut. In the end, your impact will be more significant than you can imagine because the other person wants to engage the faith you desperately want to share.