Whenever you say something like this, people will often quote Jesus’s words: “Don’t judge, lest you be judged.”

I understand this response. No one wants to be told they are behaving in an ungodly way. The defenses go up, and the claws come out.

Yet the verses that follow this statement in Matthew chapter seven state that we are to remove the log or plank from our own eye, and then we will be able to see clearly how to remove the speck from our brother’s eye. Two things are stated. First, we must take care of our own issues. Then, we are obligated to help our brother.

The problem people have when you say, “You have a problem,” is that you do not follow it up with the rest of the concept. For a follower of Jesus it is always, “You have a problem, just like I did, and I want to help you.” Let the other person know, “I want to show you the grace I received along with a way out. I sincerely want to be the support for you that I needed on my journey of faith.”

Everyone knows they have issues, and they are not looking for someone to point them out. What they need is someone to help them fix them in love.