The stories people tell you may not be the complete truth. Their public stories and their personal lives may not line up exactly.

I have spent my entire adult life surrounded by Church leaders. Almost all of them appear to have their personal lives together. The stories they tell when teaching, share in conversations, and present to the world reinforce the idea that their life is functioning flawlessly for Jesus.

Then, when you get to know them away from the public eye, and they are honest, they begin to tell a different story.

The Pastor is struggling with addiction. The always submissive Pastor’s wife is secretly battling depression. The Elder is fighting with people at work. The Elder’s wife is unforgiving of that person in the Church. The Deacon likes to drink too much. The Deacon’s wife is a known gossip. The real-life horror stories I have heard and encountered could fill books.

It is not that they are trying to deceive people for personal gain. In fact, it is quite the opposite. They believe they need to paint a picture for everyone for the gain of Jesus. These people have come to think that living as a positive example of faith will do more for the kingdom of God than being brutally honest about their struggles.

The tricky part is that people begin to believe the stories they tell are entirely truthful. Slowly, Church members begin to think of their Church leaders as having no personal issues.  

The hard truth is that everyone is fighting their own private battle. EVERYONE.

Recently, I shared my war with my tongue in a sermon. I have spent a lifetime trying to defeat my use of cuss words and inappropriate phrases. I am better now than I have ever been, but it is still an internal battle I fight daily.

Since I shared that story, numerous people have told me how much they appreciated my comments. They told me how they felt the same way. They have shared with me in honest conversations about real issues they face as believers. It is both heartbreaking and invigorating to hear people drop the facade and speak honestly about what is really going on in their lives.

Often, the most challenging thing to do and the healthiest thing to do is to share our dark side. We need to drag the ugliness into the light so that we can find help and that others will find the courage to address their darkness, too. I am not asking you to spew all your darkest secrets on every person you encounter. However, each one of us needs to learn to share our battles with other people whom we trust.

So the next time you are tempted to share only positive stories from your spiritual life, remember that sometimes the negative ones have more power because we all need the grace of Jesus and the help of the Holy Spirit. All of us.