My wife was wrong. Clearly wrong. So I did what any red-blooded American male would do: I put together a list of reasons that she was incorrect. I used logic, illustrations, referred to historical precedent, and put together an airtight case. I knew that after I had hit her with all my responses, she would be blown away by my wisdom and change her viewpoint to align with mine.

The paragraph above is entirely made up, but it comes from years of marital counseling. One person would have this completely developed argument and not understand why their spouse could not reach an agreement with their stance.

Relationships do not work that way. People are rarely convinced to change their opinions based on logical arguments. Other factors at play make that conversion complex, including personal experience, the teaching of others, and long-held beliefs.

While this is undoubtedly true in marital relationships, it is also true in our spiritual conversations. The internet is flooded with videos, podcasts, and articles that have well-reasoned, logical arguments for faith. And yet, the world is still largely unconverted. Why?

This is because the transformation of thinking is also an emotional experience. Just like an argument in my marriage must come from a place of love and concern, so does the sharing of our faith. Therefore, if we want the people in our lives to know Jesus, we must have an authentic relationship of love and concern before they will listen to our viewpoint on faith.

Defense of the faith arguments are fantastic for strengthening the faith of believers, but if Christians genuinely want to make people disciples of Jesus, then we must draw close to them. Treating people as future friends will often do more good than developing airtight arguments about why we believe.

This week, if you want to make a difference for Jesus, set the material you are studying aside and invite your unbelieving neighbor over for dinner. Transformation happens best in relationships.