“You let me down.”

“I value our relationship, and I’d love to find a way to rebuild that trust.”

Both address the same issue, but they create entirely different conversations. The first focuses on blame and past hurt. The second acknowledges the relationship’s importance while opening the door to solutions.

Most relationship conflicts stem from how we communicate, not what we’re trying to say. The message matters, but the delivery often determines whether we move toward resolution or deeper division.

Consider someone you’re currently at odds with. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, try reframing your approach around what you want to build together. Ask yourself: “How can I express this in a way that invites collaboration rather than creates defensiveness?”

Chances are, they want the same positive outcome you do. The breakthrough might simply be in how you both choose to present your perspectives.