This year, I made a conscious decision about how I handle Sunday mornings. This was motivated by my own feelings of disconnection from the people I lead.

In my previous years of ministry, I would walk around before worship and talk to as many people as possible. I greeted newcomers and long-time members with “How are you today?” followed by a quick comment, and then I moved on.

This year, I am approaching someone I might not know that well and asking several questions about them. I try to use open-ended questions like “How was your week?” or “Any big plans for today or this week?”

My choice was to have fewer conversations with more depth than a multitude of shallow greetings. For the most part, this has been effective for me. Some people have been resistant to talking, so I depart without making them feel awkward. Others love to chat about their life. I have found that asking a couple of open-ended questions has generated more discussion than I predicted, and quite often a follow-up “So how did that work out this week?” opens the door to a whole new interaction the following week.

People love to share their stories and life if someone simply asks. When we are in a hurry to get to the next person, everyone paints on a happy face and speaks in generalities, and no real connection is made.

With the success I have personally experienced this year in coming to know people better, I am challenging other people to do the same. Take a moment this Sunday and walk up to someone you barely know, and ask them questions about their life, experiences, and dreams. You will be amazed at the connections that begin by trying to have meaningful conversations rather than brief exchanges with the people you see each week.