Your calendar belongs to you and no one else. Your job does not control it. Your school does not control it. Not even your children control it. 

Sure, if you value those things, you will give them the time they require, but be clear they do not own you. 

You have a choice about where you spend your time. Don’t let people bully you into their schedule, plan, or agenda because it helps them. 

Seek God’s direction, talk to the people impacted most by your choices, and then decide the best way to spend your time. 

Maybe it is going to work and giving a full 8 hours of work, but perhaps it is taking a day off so that you can do something that fills your soul. 

Maybe it is signing your children up for another activity, or perhaps it is telling them no so that you can spend more time together as a family. 

Your life results from your choices; if you don’t like it, choose differently.

I am always fascinated by how people I know introduce me to other people. For example, will they say, “This is my pastor,” or “This is Matthew Harris,” or “This is my friend,” or “This is my dad?”

I listen to their words because it helps me understand how they view their relationship with me. Do they see me as a leader or a friend? Do they see me as just another person they know or someone who cares about them? Our relationship is defined by a label. 

This truth applies to our relationships on earth and the ones with God. Do you call him God or father? Is he Jesus or your Savior? Do you see yourself as a child of God or a person of faith? 

John, the Apostle, calls himself “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” (John 13:23; 19:26; 21:7, 20) That is perhaps one of the most beautiful pieces of scripture ever written. It communicates how John viewed himself. Jesus’ love for him defined his life. 

God, our father, sent his son because he loved the world. He loved you and me. When you get to heaven, God will introduce you to others as his beloved child. Will you allow those words to define you now?

Criticism is rampant in any group you are connected with, especially the Church. You put a few Christians in a room and give them enough time, and someone will start to complain. It might be about the facilities, the lesson material, the teacher, or the other people in the room.

What is fascinating to me is that if you listen closely, you will find that when one person complains, then another will join in and then another until everyone has issues with the situation. 

There are numerous reasons that this dynamic plays out in groups of people. One is because we want to connect to other people emotionally. If we are unequipped to do that, we quickly resort to our basic instincts. We display our dislike of something and share a complaint, knowing that someone will connect to us through our negative emotions. That means people complain to connect to others in a meaningful way. 

One sign of maturity in your faith is when you quit using negative feelings as your bond to others and start using positive. You can walk into a room and start saying all the positive things you see and feel. This will generate others to share the good things they see. Soon everyone is feeling closer without the ugly residue leftover after criticism. 

All of us want to connect to others emotionally, the easiest way is through negativity, but the most fulfilling way is through positivity. Both of these outlooks will make friends; just know that one group will eventually level their complaints against you. 

A group of golfers talked about their game and the courses they play. I was intrigued as each one of them spoke of places where it was increasingly more difficult to play. They said of one club where the course was hard to score very well, and they loved it, and another that was too easy. They thought it was an excellent place for a beginner, but it was not the place to go as you played more. These golfers want the challenge of a complex 18 holes that pushed their skills to the limit.

This conversation had me thinking about faith and the Church. Far too often, I land on the exact opposite side of this equation. I try to make everything sound easy. I say things like, “Just give your life to Jesus. Make a little time to grow and serve. It would sure be great if you could give a little money too.”

This is never found in the words of Jesus. He is always clear that following him is the most challenging path you will ever choose. The gate is narrow, and the road is winding. It will require you to take up your cross daily. His way demands that you surrender all to Him and live with total trust in his provision and grace. The journey of faith is not for the weak in heart and soul. People will persecute you, others will turn their back on you, and you will never be without an enemy. Following Jesus will mean you will need to use all your resources, and your skills will be pushed to the limits.

Perhaps one reason that faith in Jesus is decreasing in the United States is because we are telling people that faith is easy and people are looking to rise to the challenge of something more demanding. I know this is true in golf, and quite possibly true in life too.

I once read the story of a preacher who walked with his wife through cancer. They stood by each other’s side through treatment and the bad news. He held onto her through the final weeks of her life until she faded into the glory of her heavenly father.

He took a few weeks off from his usual preaching schedule to grieve and set his affairs in order. Finally, he returned to the pulpit to restart after this challenging year.

He stood up the first Sunday back and thanked people for their prayers and support. Then he notified them about a change in plan from his regular sermon schedule. Instead of the originally planned series, he would take a few weeks and talk about pain and suffering. Then he said something like this, “I have always had these sermons in my mind, but NOW you will listen to me.”

I often think that everyone who follows Jesus has a sermon of their own. There is this message that God gave to us through his word and our life experiences. Everyone has walked down a path that has taught them about faith in a particular situation. And the lessons we learned on that journey are worth sharing. Someone else out there needs to hear how faith maintained us because they are struggling on that same road.

God has given you a sermon to share with people, and because of your experience, people will listen to every word you say now.

The opening lines of the movie “Vision Quest” are these: “My name’s Louden, Louden Swain. Last week, I turned 18. I wasn’t ready for it. I haven’t done anything yet. So I made this deal with myself. This is the year I make my mark.”

Well, last week I turned 50. I wasn’t ready for it yet. I feel like I haven’t done anything. But in retrospect, I have learned a lot in the last 18,250 days. So today, I want to share 50 thoughts from living a half-century on this earth (in totally random order).

-Most things are not worth fighting about

-Some things definitely are worth fighting about.

-I knew it all at 22, now, not so much

-Enjoy this life. Find a few things you enjoy doing and do them.

-True friends are hard to find.

-Losing people in this life is a pain that never completely heals.

-Marriage is incredibly complicated and indescribably wonderful at the same time.

-Don’t take yourself too seriously.

-Laugh some every day. 

-Perfect parents do not have children at home.

-Do your best as a parent and then leave them to God.

-Life’s most memorable moments are usually unexpected

-The Church has some difficult people, but most are wonderful.

-Teach and communicate your way out of any situation.

-Take a nap.

-Invest in experiences and not things.

-Buy quality products once and take care of them.

-The little things make a huge difference.

-Lead with your weakness. It sounds wrong, but it is what truly makes you a leader.

-Habits are essential to growth.

-No one has any real idea if they are doing life correctly. We are all just doing our best.

-Invest your time in people above ALL else. 

-Faith is a lifelong journey.

-Focus on the trajectory of your life over time. Don’t let minor setbacks derail you. 

-Make a plan to be the person you desire. Don’t just have dreams.

-Love the precious people in the Church who serve the Lord every week with joy. 

-Don’t believe every sob story. Unfortunately, there are lots of con artists out there. 

-Don’t argue online. Period.

-Sports is not as important for kids as we pretend. 

-Sports scholarships are a mirage.

-Tip Well. 

-Adapt or Die. Maybe at one point in history, you could avoid change. That is no longer true.

-Growth is non-negotiable. You must be growing in every area of life: Spiritually, personally, relationally, mentally, emotionally.   

-Learn from your mistakes, and don’t be afraid to make many of them.

-Being a Pastor’s wife is the single most challenging job in the world.

-Most people who complain simply did not get enough love or attention as a child.

-Telling the truth is hard. People love not only to tell lies but to hear them. 

-Give me long enough to think about something. I may change my mind. 

-When people die, you will miss the little things about them most of all. That huge vacation is fun, but real connections happen every single day.

-Most people are lonely. Find people and be lonely together.

-Whenever you think of something nice to communicate, do it immediately.

-Forgive. Truly let it go. 

-Miracles just take longer and often come looking like hard work.

-Don’t forget to breathe.

-Build a life you do not have to take a vacation from too often.

-Don’t save anything for a “special occasion.” Use it.

-Chocolate makes life more enjoyable.

-Real education comes from living and doing. 

-You will never know the amount of good you did in this life.

-I know it is cliché – but time flies.

*(Bonus) Obey God and enjoy each moment he gives you.

Maybe he will give me another 50, maybe not, but I will keep living and learning with every day that I am given.   

A new country song by artist Luke Combs is entitled “Doin’ This.” The opening lines caught my attention when I heard them:

“Someone asked me once in an interview

‘What was growing up like? Where’d you go to school?

And what would you do if you weren’t doin’ this?'”

The rest of the song explains that even if he were not a big country music star, he would still be singing for people. 

Well, I have often been asked, “If you were not a preacher, what would you be doing?” 

My first response is to say, “I don’t have the skill set or education to do anything else.” But in all honestly, no matter what I do for a paycheck, I still hope to be teaching the Bible. I might not get to preach on the stage, but I will be in a Bible study somewhere, doing my best for the Lord. I don’t preach because I get paid. I preach and teach because this is how God gifted me.    

Luke Combes is correct. If the money were gone, I would still be doing this. This is who I am, and this is what I do. 

In Luke chapter 15, Jesus is questioned about eating with tax collectors and sinners. He responds by telling them a parable in three parts. There are so many ways to apply the truth of this passage, but I want to use them as descriptions of my spiritual walk.

Jesus begins by talking about a lost sheep. Many of us know what it is like to leave the herd. We set out on our own and suddenly discovered we were all alone and needed help. We cried out, and it seemed like no one heard our pleas for assistance.

The second part of the parable is about a lost coin. Each coin has value to its owner, but one is lost. Those are times when I knew God loved me, yet I chose to do the wrong thing. My decisions led me away from God, and soon I was lost. 

The final story is often labeled as the prodigal son. A boy leaves home and his family behind. In my immediate family, I left home at 18 and have never returned for more than a few short weeks. My life has led me away from my family and out into the unknown. I have often made poor choices, ended up alone, and needed divine help. 

In the song “Come Thou Fount,” one line says, “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.” 

That is the story of my life, and the good news is that God is like a good shepherd who seeks his sheep. He is like a frantic woman searching in every crack for her coin. God is like a loving father waiting patiently for his children to come home. There he greets us with open arms and forgiveness.  

Like many others, the parable of Luke 15 reminds me that even when I am lost, God still cares. He is still pursuing me to be a part of his family.

Many mornings, I wake up with this feeling that I am lost. I feel alone and unsure of which step to take next. Where will I find the help and direction I need to make it through another day?   ON days like that, I remind myself that God is always pursuing me in his love. It doesn’t matter how I feel; the truth is that my life has value to God. Yours too. 

They caught me off guard with their criticism. They said I blog about “my” Church a lot. I said, “Yes.” Then, they said, “Your posts always refer to the Church you lead as ‘MY’ Church.” They informed me that it was not my Church, and I was a horrible leader for communicating it that way. Then they ended by saying they were not coming back to this Church because I was such an egotistical leader.  

In my conversations that followed, it became clear that they did not like me and had been looking for a reason to leave. They took notes on every sermon listening for a bit of heresy or doctrinal miscommunication. They read every blog trying to catch me in some statement they disapproved. Every conversation was geared to be a mental recording to hear me in some error or ungodly behavior. Well, it didn’t take long for them to find what they were looking for in my words. After a few weeks of looking for something negative, they had quite a list. 

I have often wondered what would have happened if they had set their minds in a different direction. What if they said, “I don’t think we agree with this guy, but let’s find a reason to like him.” I bet they could have come up with a completely different list of positive attributes of my ministry. 

The truth is that you will always find what you are looking for in your interactions with anyone. What you want to see is what you will see. 

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying, “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”

This is true of all topics, including religion. If you cannot explain what you believe with simple stories and images, you probably don’t understand it yourself. 

When your explanation of faith does not make sense to me and others, it is not a reflection on us but you. The more you know, the easier things are to explain, even when it comes to faith.