On Saturday morning I was up early to go on a fishing trip. The darkness still surrounded the road, and one by one different animals came to the edge.

First was a cat. It sat by the roadside and just stared at me. It did not move one step.

The second was a rabbit. It was down in the ditch on the right side. It quickly darted up, and at full speed, ran across the road right in front of me. It ended up safely on the other side.

Finally, there was this opossum. It waited and even looked in the truck’s direction. In a seeming act of defiance, it took off running. Then, for reasons unknown, when it reached the middle of the road, it turned around. That was its fatal mistake. By this point, it was too late for me to brake and I heard the thump.

There in those morning hours before dawn, I could not help but reflect on all three of these animals. There was a life lesson wrapped up in their actions. Go or don’t go but be decisive. The road is littered with opossums who went halfway and gave up early.

Recently a lady told me she loved to hear about the life of a pastor. She could not imagine what I thought and did and posts that reveal my life she found interesting. Well, I hope she is not the only one as I decided to share a few of the concepts that guide me as a pastor.

1. Everyone is Deeply Flawed. I don’t understand people no matter how hard I try. They frustrate me and often leave me feeling confused. The one common theme that runs through all my experiences is that people are flawed into their very soul. They continually do things contrary to the will of God no matter how good they appear. Every time I deal with people, I expect to be disappointed by the sin in their life. I know that people feel the same way about me and rightfully so. Always expect the worst and be surprised by godliness.

2. Be the Leader You Want. Despite countless books and classes on leadership, very few people grasp the way that Jesus wants us to lead. Servant leaders are rare, and when one cannot be found, I will do the job. Who knows, maybe God put me in this position to be the leader that is needed. One of my mottos is to grab the bull by the horns and get to work.

3. Don’t Focus on Negative Attention. As children, many people picked up a nasty habit. They found the only way to get the attention they so desperately crave was through lousy behavior, complaining and drama. These people grow up, and one day they show up for Church. They bring all those issues to the community of believers. Instead of finding healthy ways to engage people they are always fussing, cussing and crying. I have discovered that when you give in to these people, then they will continue to do it for attention (or get worse). I refuse to give in to their desires, and it usually drives them crazy. The result is that they leave the Church with a loud voice and try to take people with them.

4. Fake It Till You Feel It. This is my introvert nature speaking. My desire to avoid people is ingrained, but the cause of Christ calls me to community. When I go to places where people are gathered, I start out struggling, but I know if I fake it the feelings of joy will eventually come to me. I say the right things, ask questions, try to smile and be kind in every way. Do that long enough, and finally, you no longer must fake it.

5. Address the Elephant. Every group of people, especially the Church, has people with issues. In most cases, everyone knows, and no one talks about it. This person is the proverbial elephant in the room. I refuse to set back and let someone be a big bully or have a big mouth that hurts the body of Christ. At least three times I have confronted someone, and it was ugly. They were wolves and wanted to destroy the flock, and I would not allow it. In all the cases, not one person had ever confronted their evil behavior. They scared people, and no one dared to call them on their ungodly behavior. I refuse to let anyone take the Church hostage.

These are some of the significant guidelines for me as a minister. Most of them have some connection to scripture and others are born out of experience. Maybe these will help you to understand my behavior along with some other preachers. Then again, perhaps these are just me.

Through the years I have been exposed to numerous people who are interested in their genealogies. They spend hours looking for names and connections to people whose time has long since forgotten. Most of them hope to make some discovery from their past that will impact their present view of themselves and their family.

I sat in a doctor’s waiting room listening to a lady talk about her family heritage. She was not speaking to me, but she was loud enough for everyone in the lobby to hear her. She told about hunting for cemeteries with her family and all kinds of exciting discoveries. Then she dropped her big piece of information. She claimed, now more loudly than before, that Pocahontas eighth grandson married her something grandmother. She was very specific naming all the number of generations connected with quite a bit of pride. I smiled as my wife finished her appointment and we left with her still talking.

For her, the names and stories she discovered were part of her identity. It shaped her view of herself, her family and she shared it to help others see her unique background.

While she spoke, I could not help but think about how we read the Bible. Do we read the names there as distant people with no impact on our world? We are separated by the river of time and our two cultures it can seem there is no real bridge between us.

I believe the Bible is given to us as our genealogy of faith. I walk in the way of Seth and am not part of the lineage of Cain. Abraham is my ancestor. His faith runs through my blood. David was a part of my family. His success is my joy, and his failure is my shame. The Apostle Paul laid the foundation of my faith and built a heritage that I read about with pain and pleasure. My family includes people like Peter, Luke, Barnabas, Silas, and Timothy.

If the Church is the family of God, then the Bible is the purest form of my family tree. It tells me of people who held the faith, preached the gospel, endured hardship, and loved others in the name of Jesus. My understanding of their work in the past shapes my view of the present and even my identity.

I am not sure of who my great grandparents married and if I am somehow connected to a famous hero of the past. I do know that I am a child of God and if you are a person of faith then we are related to Christ. Together our ancestors walked as believers, and we must hold tight to faith to make them proud.

I asked a woman about her husband’s faith and was shocked to hear her response. She told me that he was a committed believer who had a strong faith. Her response caught me off guard because I had seen little evidence in his life to support her comments. He attended worship once a month at best, never participated in any class of any kind, did not serve in any capacity of which I was aware, he never carried his Bible and showed no evidence of reading it. By my estimation, he was a marginal Christian at best.

Immediately a thought went through my mind, “Life looks different through a preacher’s eyes.” I try to compare people to Paul along with those great leaders of the early Church. I take people’s actions and lie them alongside the saints of old who led the Church of my boyhood. I compare people to the characteristics of a fully devoted follower of Jesus. The bar is set incredibly high and is usually unachievable by anyone I know including myself. This keeps us striving for a higher level of commitment in our walk with Jesus. Through my eyes, most of us have a long way to go in our faith.

The flip side of this is equally valid. If you compare yourself to the people you see every day, you can come off looking pretty good. Each one of us is surrounded by people who keep the bar low. We think, “At least I am not as bad as that person.” In the end, we feel confident about our faith but also about the people we love. This was evidenced to me in this woman’s words about her husband.

So let me ask you a pointed question, “To whom are you comparing your life of faith?” Are you striving to live like Jesus? Do you focus your attention on how bad other people are living to make yourself feel good?

Honestly, I know you do not care what this preacher thinks about you, but I want you to be honest; Do you believe God’s standards are lower or higher than your pastor? Be sure you are comparing yourself to the best and not the rest.

The criticism cut deeply and left me feeling hurt. It was not the first time I had heard this type of accusation, but that did not make it less painful. This person stated that they thought I was unkind, mean and generally not a good person.

What had I done? What was so evil as to rouse this anger against me? The answer, “Nothing.” I had done nothing.

This person expected me to be present with them in their struggle. They wanted me to run and help. They wanted to see my concern in physical action.

The truth is that I did care. I did want to help. I prayed for the situation. I told other people to pray and suggested how some of them might be able to help. My heart was in the right place, but my body did not follow in the way they desired.

One thing I have learned from encounters like these is that the absence of action can speak as loud as negative actions. When you do not visibly respond to needs and issues people will assume that you are calloused, uncaring and mean. People will, correctly or incorrectly, make judgments about your lack of appropriate behavior.

The New Testament writer James goes so far as to say, “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. (James 4:17 – NIV 2011)”

As a believer, I must continually evaluate what I am doing and what I am not doing. It is one thing to be busy and not be able to act; it is another to know how to respond and turn away. Your absence of action says something about what you believe.

Make today a day in which you do the right thing. Make this week a week in which people will see you doing the good you know you ought to do.

On Monday morning I set in my office and think about how this week is full of possibilities. In the next seven days, I will have the chance to show the love of God to a world in desperate need of something meaningful. There will be opportunities for people to fellowship, worship, and learn. Every day, each week, and every meeting great things can happen. The only question is will we allow it to occur?

Will we be distracted and not listen to what God is teaching us?
Will we close our eyes and not notice the opportunities God places before us?
Will we listen carefully to those trying to share their wisdom or will we ignore their words?
Will we open our lives to the leading of God or blindly walk through each day?

We live in a time full of opportunities for the work of God in our lives; I pray you do not let them slip away unnoticed.

One of the most basic Christian virtues is kindness. While it seems like this is an easy idea for us to grasp, it must not be because the Bible continually reminds the followers of Jesus to be kind (Colossians 3:12, 2 Timothy 2:24 & Ephesians 4:32). In fact, one of the fruit that will be seen in our lives as we live by the Spirit of God is kindness.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. It means saying a pleasant word instead of a harsh one. It means smiling when we want to get angry. It means doing a nice thing when we want to be mean.

One reason we need to be reminded to be kind is that we often limit our good behavior to a few people. Let me tell you of a few people to be kind too –

1. The strangers we meet. Throughout your day you are going to encounter people everywhere you turn. Our lives bump up against people at the gas station, coffee shop, store, restaurant, and school to name a few. How do you treat the people around you? It has been said that the way you treat your wait staff when eating out or the janitor at your place of business is the accurate measure of your kindness.

2. The people that we know. Sometimes we are very kind to people we do not know while having anger when dealing with the people at our work whom we encounter every day. When we know people and their story, we can feel we have the right to be rude or indignant. Often we feel free to pour out our negative emotions and attitudes over the people we know the best.

3. The people in our family. This can be your children, who continuously frustrate you after a long day. It can also be your spouse. Frequently we act well-behaved all day long only to unleash on the people we love without realizing the damage that it causes. Don’t treat strangers better than you treat the people you love.

Honestly, if you look at my list, that is everyone you meet. As a follower of Jesus, your kindness is not reserved for the short list of people you think deserve it. It is not something that happens when you want to make a good impression. Kindness is the default action of people who love Jesus. Today is a good day to be kind.

Recently I was in a conversation with a lady about some of the choices she was making with her children. These were not necessarily Biblical decisions, but they do reflect the life of a believer. They involve good stewardship, building strong family dynamics and giving us a format to teach our children about Jesus. As the parents of four boys, we made several mistakes, but these were some of the best choices we made when our children were young.

1. Experiences Over Stuff. When my oldest was six or seven years old, we made a conscious decision to focus on having wonderful experiences together over getting them more and more toys. One Christmas we took the money we would usually spend on gifts and got a hotel room at an indoor water park. It was basically empty, and we had a great time together.

2. Cheap Over Expensive. You do not need to go broke making these experiences. One year we waited in line for a coupon book the radio station was giving away to a local amusement park area. That summer we took a couple of trips and enjoyed everything free we possibly could. Let me be honest, at a young age your children do not understand what is expensive and what is not. A city park can be as much fun as six flags for a child and way cheaper.

3. Teens Over Toddlers. One thing we discovered is that anything we did before the age of twelve was forgotten. There might be a faint memory, but those usually came more from a picture, home video or family story. I recently asked my boys about the experiences we had in Alaska when we lived there for five years. We have now been gone for almost five years, and they have very little memory of most of what we did. As a result, we decided we would take our big trips when the boys were old enough to remember and appreciate it. We make a special trip the year our boys are a senior that they get to choose. I am glad we saved the money.

4. Together Over Isolation. We do things as a family. If one of the boys has something happening, then we all go to watch, support and enjoy. We generally do not send our boys off to anything alone. That means we sometimes have to do crazy things like all of us sleeping in a van in a parking lot, but it is a memory we share. When we go to amusement parks, we try to stay together even when I hate the ride. We go to games as a family even when we do not all enjoy it.

5. Us Over Me. When the boys were born, I gave up my week-long fishing vacation. My wife has really never had a “girls’ night out.” We made a choice when we had kids to raise them ourselves. We did not leave them very often with baby sitters or grandparents so that we could go have our fun. We chose to give up our trips while we have kids living in our homes. Now, we are already planning to travel when the boys are all off in college and gone, but while they are in our house, we will be a family.

I don’t know if you find any of this to be helpful or challenging. Maybe you hear echoes of your own parenting or even your childhood. These were choices that we made that have given us a close relationship with all our boys that I would not trade for anything. Great families are the result of good decisions, and these are some we made. What would you add to my list?

Theology is defined as the study of God or a set of beliefs. Everyone who has ever thought about God has developed a theology. As a pastor, I am exposed to people who have arrived at a detailed theology about all things religious. They have convictions that flow from their understanding of God and what he desires. The most significant question about our beliefs is, “How did we arrive at that conclusion.”

There are two fundamental ways that we develop our theology.

The first way is to read the Bible and draw conclusions over what we learn there. This is difficult because it requires us to be familiar with all the Bible. We need to understand both the Old and New Testaments and how they fit together. It requires study and searching for common themes while harmonizing complicated thoughts. Quite often it requires years and years of research to form solid concepts about multiple topics.

The other way to arrive at your theology is through informational gathering. This requires us to listen to teachers, read books and have spiritual conversations. This is not necessarily an easy journey into learning, but it is different. It leads us to theologians, authors and loud voices who can influence our thinking. Frequently it is affected by my family and personal experiences.

I have encountered both and realized most people are not disciplined enough to develop a robust Biblical theology, so we try to shortcut the process with information gathering. This is not necessarily a bad thing in any way, but there are two critical questions to ask yourself:

Do I believe this to be true because of something I found in the Bible or because of the words of someone else?

If I found something in the Bible that was different from what I currently believe, would I adjust my thinking accordingly?

We must always be on guard against arriving at our religious beliefs and then trying to find ways to support what we already believe. This forces us to read only the parts of the Bible with which we agree. In turn, we listen only to speakers and authors whom we agree. Without noticing it, we create a theology based on our preference nothing more. I believe faith should pull and stretch us into unnatural positions and conclusions based on a supernatural being. When God likes and hates all the same thing that we do, usually we have just made a god in our own image and have not discovered the God of the Bible.

I spend an enormous amount of time in the Church building. As a result, I use the refrigerator located there for personal and professional uses. Through the years I have developed a statement that I repeat when it comes to this one appliance. I tell people, “Anything in the Church fridge is community property.”

Throughout my ministry, I would leave food, soda and bottled water inside the refrigerator to keep it cool during the week. Repeatedly I would go back to find food missing and the drinks are almost always gone. In an effort to protect my stuff I took a permanent marker and put my name on items. While it slowed them being taken it did not stop the removal of anything people found. One Sunday morning I looked up to see a woman singing on the stage with a bottle of water with my name clearly on the side. “Anything in the Church fridge is community property.”

At first, all of this upset me, and I thought, I cannot buy enough food and drinks for the whole Church every Sunday. Then it began to humor me. It was a game of who will take the food this week. Recently I have decided that the stupid refrigerator is a symbol of what it means to be a Church. We are a community of people who belong to one another. The Church is one big family who lives together as one. Sure, anything in the fridge is community property in the same way anything in mine at home is fair game to anyone who visits me. The Church is more than a building or a collection of people who share similar beliefs; we are a community of people connected through Jesus. If you don’t believe me, try leaving some bottles of water in the fridge.