As a believer in Jesus, we are placed into a community of people that we call the Church. It is composed of people from all kinds of backgrounds, with all types of personalities and various maturity levels. To be a part of this community is like being a part of a weird blended family in which we are all connected but all different.

I believe one of the reasons God places us in this group of his followers is because each one of us has something to offer. One lesson I have learned through the years is that I may have to offer several things to the people of this community. Here are some of the roles we fill each week.

1. Sometimes You Are a Teacher. This can take many forms in the life of the Church. Quite often it is teaching the Bible to other believers. There is a lot to learn about God, his word, his will, and theology. Other times it is teaching from your experience as a Christian. Sometimes we have the role of teaching of what we know.

2. Sometimes You Are a Cheerleader. There are a lot of people who come to this community beaten down by the world. Their self-worth is declining as they have been told they are a failure or at least not as good as other people. Some days I simply stand and cheer other people on and remind them that God sees them as valuable. Reminding them that each life has a purpose, and God can use it for good. Many times people need someone to cheer them on so that they can go back out into life with confidence.

3. Sometimes You Are a Counselor. Very often we find ourselves listening to the problems of other people. Sometimes we offer advice and other times we just sit quietly. We ask probing questions and try to help people see themselves and their situation clearly. Many times I have been the lightning rod for years of struggle to help someone heal. Sometimes your heart breaks as you listen to the failures people have made that brought them to the breaking point.

4. Sometimes You Are a Parent. There are people in each community who need someone to take them under their wing and mentor them. There are people looking for a spiritual parent in the faith to help them grow and mature. With each passing year of experience as a believer, you gain knowledge that can be shared to help the next generation.

5. You are always a servant. I wish I knew exactly how many times in my ministry I have said, “I will help in any way that I can.” I never know exactly what role will follow, but that’s okay. I have been a mover, a cook, a cleaner, a lawn care guy, a babysitter and a hundred other roles. Numerous jobs simply require a willing body.

What I have found through all my years of being a Christian and especially a Christian leader is that many people are looking for spiritual and emotional help. They have no one close enough to help them or listen to them. God in his wisdom created a community of people who are here to help. You just have to be willing to fill whatever position needs to be filled. In fact, I am sure there is someone who needs you this weekend. Open your eyes and be what someone needs.

I recently watched a woman try to describe her children. What was unique about her attempt was that she sought to do it in one word. I admit that I had never really thought about it before watching her effort. She tried to use a descriptive word for each of her children to encapsulate their personality and their dreams.

While watching her talk about her children a couple of thoughts came to my head. First, how would I describe each of my kids in one word? Then a second more pointed thought came to mind; “Would that word reflect my faith in God?”

There is a big difference between raising a “winner” and raising a “giver.” No one will mistake a “self-confident” person for a “self-sacrificing” one. There is a vast spiritual gap between “faithful” and “proud.”

There are a lot of good words that we can use to label our children, but not all of them reflect our faith. They can be smart or funny or an athlete or social or determined or fast or strong or even a leader with no knowledge of God.

Raising our children in the way of the Lord will lead to the fruit of the Spirit being manifest in their lives. They will be children who are known by their love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

My question from this little exercise for myself was quite pointed, “Am I raising children who are defined by God’s standard or by the worlds?”

How would you label your child in one word? Maybe that says more about our parenting than their personality.

I am currently meeting with a small group of people, and we are talking about the topic of marriage. We are using the material entitled “A Lifelong Love” from Gary Thomas. We watch a half hour video each week and then discuss it for 8 weeks. The material has been quite good so far and generated several good discussions.

This last week Gary used an analogy that I found very helpful. He stated that most people view marriage like a tree. With a tree, you take and plant a seedling into the ground. In the beginning, you should water it, possibly fertilize it, and keep any animals from destroying it. We once owned a new tree, and we had to stake it and keep adjusting the ropes to support it. Over time, though, you do less and less for the tree. Eventually, you just expect it to be there offering the joy of its shade. No real work left to do but occasionally clean up the leaves in the fall. He said most people view marriage like that tree, some work up front but little work in the future.

Then Gary suggested a better analogy for us to think of marriage. He said that marriage is more like building a brick house. Each and every day we are placing bricks into the structure of marriage. If we quit and leave before it is finished, then the whole thing is not right. Brick building takes diligence and hard work day after day and brick after brick. You are not finished until every block is set in place. Only then can you really enjoy what you have built.

I thought the analogy was extremely fitting for the lives of people I lead and counsel along with my own marriage. Most of us put very little energy into making our marriage better. Sure, we did in the beginning, but now we feel like we should just be enjoying it.

The big question is “How do you view your marriage?” The wrong images lead to the wrong actions or in this case, lack of action. How would your marriage be different if you viewed it as a brick house other than a tree?

I have spent the last seven days just watching the world move on without me. I have enjoyed time with my family, going shopping, eating out, fishing and generally relaxing. We did not take any trips or do anything expensive, mainly we did not work. Today I was reflecting on my time off, and I was reminded of this one simple truth: God is in control of the world.

I know that sounds so simplistic, but I think we need to be reminded of this essential belief repeatedly. It is easy for me to believe that everything depends on me. I have to lead the Church. I have to take care of my family. I need to run as fast as possible to keep all the plates spinning, or they will crash without me.

A week off reminds me that God is in control. Nothing crashed without me. It might be a blow to my ego, but it was strength for my faith.

Yesterday I was out of town on vacation with my family. We wanted to attend a Church worship program with the entire family as a part of our regular weekend routine. Here is what I have discovered every time this opportunity comes up.

1. There is a Church almost everywhere. If you are out of town, a quick search on google will reveal all kinds of Churches within a few minutes drive of your location.

2. There are multiple time options on Sunday morning. We found Churches with programs from 8:00 am clear up to 11:30 am. Do not think you are limited to your “normal” time at your home Church.

3. There are several non-traditional options to consider. Many larger Churches have added a worship programs on Thursday Night, Saturday Night, Sunday evening and even other possibilities. If your Sunday morning is booked with travel or activities, an alternate program may fit your needs.

4. If all else fails, online programs abound. If you physically cannot make a worship program, there are numerous Churches with live online events. Some even record them so that you can experience them at any time.

The old saying is, “Where there is a will, there is a way.” That is true with Church worship attendance. If you want to be a part of a weekly worship experience, there are several possibilities for you each weekend. No matter where your life takes you.

Here is a thought for your Sunday afternoon. May God bless you all.

Here are the best posts I have read this week. I hope you enjoy them.

7 Things I’ve Learned about Following God

Sorry, but if you’re a Christian, you need to go to church. Regularly.

5 THINGS THAT KEEP PASTORS AWAKE AT NIGHT

This is a quote from a former professor of mine who now preaches at a Church in Arizona. His name is Mark Moore, and this originally appeared on his blog, and I thought it was very well said:

“At a recent men’s retreat I had the privilege of being sharpened by a number of fellas who had true brokenness in their lives: Unfaithful wives, sexual addictions, violence in the home, anger management issues, failing parents, failed ministries. One old friend emailed me just to say thanks for the time we got to share together after years of lost contact. My final sentence to him was this: ‘From one wounded warrior to another: stand in the grace we have come to cling to, no longer out of theological commitment, but raw necessity.’

Look, I’m not OK, and neither are you. We serve our king, not because we have earned the right, not because we have lived right, not because it is right, but because we have expended all our other resources and run out of options. As Peter said, ‘To whom shall we go, you have the words of eternal life.’

Lord, all we can offer you is broken lives and wounded hearts, inflamed with the passion of one indiscriminately loved.”

I have always had an interest in becoming a stand-up comic. I know there will be people who will smirk and say I am not funny. I understand that I am not currently qualified in any way to be a comedian. As a result, at one time I did some research on how to become a comedian. People shared several stories and ideas of their journey into comedy. One article I ran across was an interview with Patton Oswalt (not a Christian in any way). He told his story of becoming a nationally known comedian. He said he didn’t take a class, in fact, he made fun of people who did take classes usually at local community colleges. Instead, he became a good at telling jokes by standing up night after night and bombing. He shared how he would go anywhere there was an open mic and give it a shot. Over time he noticed what made people laugh, the stories he told well and how to develop an act. His suggestion was that to become a good comedian you need to fail over and over again until you get good at it.

I have found this information to be true of almost everything in life. It applies to preaching. One of the ways to become better at preaching is to preach and teach repeatedly. In the early years of my ministry, I usually spoke more than 100 times a year. This truth extends beyond just preaching in ministry to almost every area where I serve. Over the year my teaching, my small group leadership, my counseling and everything I do as a minister has significantly improved. Each improvement came at the cost of a hundred failures.

So how do you get good at anything? The biggest step is to overcome your fear of failure. That is it. Most people spend their lives as amateurs poking at things with no sincerity because they are afraid to fail.

What if I embarrass myself? What if I flop and everyone laughs at me? What if I make a mistake and say something wrong? What if it doesn’t go perfectly?

Rest easy. You will fail. You will embarrass yourself. You will make mistakes, and it will not go well. This will happen over and over again. Then one day it won’t. One day you will do it right. You will succeed. Everything will begin to go better than you imagined. People will respond, and you will finally feel good about what you are doing.

God calls us to trust him completely. He is working even in our failures. Sometimes his work does not bring about immediate results. Instead over time, he is molding us into the people he can use. All we have to do is be willing to be used even when it doesn’t look or sound pretty.

I have heard this one cliché used by Christians since I was a boy. They say something like, “I just decided to turn it over to God.” Usually the phrase comes up when someone is struggling with a complicated issue. They will talk about reaching the end of their rope and then in a moment of clarity they say, “I just turned it over to God.” The rest of the story usually is about some happy ending to their problems.

The other day I heard it again and I had a small mental meltdown. The problem I see is that the phrase can mean nothing. In other words, I was struggling and I came to the point that I am no longer going to worry about it and let God work it out. I know that sounds nice, but is incredibly impractical and might actually be a bad idea.

My fear is that this phrase and others like it might actually be promoting an attitude of apathy. I will just let God handle my issues, and I will avoid any real work to change.

Giving your life to God is not a passive decision.

1. Turning it over to God means I will seek his will as found in his word. Some things are crystal clear in his word. There are some passages about how to handle forgiveness, sin, marriage and other difficult subjects that must first be read and understood.

2. Turning it over to God means I will pray intently about my struggles. There needs to be a day by day searching for God’s will, asking for his guidance while living in his forgiveness. Trusting God is connected to a commitment to prayer.

3. Turning it over to God means I will listen to the wise counsel of other believers. This can be a pastor, a professional counselor, or just an older believer. Trusting God means listening to those wiser voices who might have a different perspective than our own.

4. Turning it over to God means I will take the necessary actions to bring my life in line with God. Once we have sought God’s leading in his word, in prayer and in other people then we commit to go where he is leading. I have had countless people sit in my office seeking my advice. Then I offer it to them and watch them walk out the door to ignore everything I said. Later they return and ask me for more wisdom and I really wonder why.

5. Turning it over to God means trusting that my actions will not be in vain and he will bring about a positive ending. I may have to work for years to see any results. I may spend months beating my head against the hard wall of defeat. Even if there are no immediate results we keep doing the right thing, knowing that in the end God will make sense of it all.

The problem with most people who say things like, “Turn it over to God” is that they want to skip to number five on my list. They want to sit back and do nothing while waiting for some miraculous result. That is not really turning your life over to God, that is laziness.

I firmly believe in the concept of turning your life over to God, but only in healthy and Godly ways. If you are struggling I hope you will hand over the issues of your life to God and then push forward until you see some results.