This week I have been writing about having influence in another person’s life. Most particularly I have been telling of the people who have shaped and molded my life. At the same time I have tried to raise questions about the people who have touched your life and whose life you are shaping in turn. I meet numerous people who want to have influence but do not have any idea whose life they are molding or could shape. So let me give you some people I have found that are soft clay ready for tender hands.

1. Your Own Children or Grandchildren – I know this sounds obvious to most of us, but I encounter several parents and grandparents who never realize how much they are shaping the next generation. I want to especially underline the power of a grandparent. I have seen this played out first hand in the lives of my own children from both sides. Use your relationships for good.

2. The Children of Divorce & Single Parents – I am not sure we will ever know the potential harm done by having only one parent in the home. I know from personal experience that this group of kids are often screaming for attention with their words and their actions. There is an enormous open area for us to touch the next generation for Christ if we will put in the effort. A couple of times I took a group of teens on a fishing trip to Canada. I quickly learned that on every trip well over half of the kids had little influence from their fathers. Most of them had never had a man teach them to tie a hook, bait a line, catch a fish or clean it and cook it for supper.

3. Widows and Orphans – This one is not an option. James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

4. New Believers – This could be young people or simply older people who are new to faith. When someone comes to faith in Jesus as their Savior they are usually open to all kinds of ideas and people. One of my fears as a Church leader is that we do not do enough to mold this group of people. New believers are a great group to mentor. What if every new believer in the Church were “adopted” by a senior saint to help mold them?

5. Anyone You Have Contact With – All of us have people in our lives. We share our lives at breakfast, lunch, coffee, smoking breaks, sitting next to us in the bleachers, our neighbors and on and on it goes. Look around – I can guarantee there are people in your life who are looking for a positive influence.

My hope is that each one of us will use our life to help teach other people in the way of the Lord. Most of the time we just need to open our eyes to the opportunities that surround us. I hope that maybe today you will think of someone you can reach out to and influence. May God use you as a force for good in the lives of other people.

Yesterday I wrote about the people who have shaped my own personal faith. Today I want to focus on the people who have shaped the way I view the Church and the work that gets done there.

1. My College Professors – Mark Scott, J.K. Jones and Mark Moore were three of my professors. Their words showed me what a good sermon and lesson sound like. More than that, they introduced me to the teachings of Fred Craddock about preaching. All of my preaching and teaching has been molded by one of those four individuals.
I encourage people to find someone from whom they can really learn the Bible and then absorb as much material as you can from that person. One or two influential teachers are better than a thousand different voices.

2. Kyle Gardiner – While in college I started preaching every week. I was struggling in my life and faith while leading a Church. Then in chapel I heard a sermon by Kyle Gardiner. Later I would be invited to a book discussion group he was leading. I discovered that he was a preacher at a Church in Joplin and had been for a few years. Within days I drove over to his Church, I walked in and asked him to mentor me. He graciously agreed and from then on, we met weekly to discuss one chapter of a book and how it applied to life and ministry.
I strongly encourage everyone to find some type of mentor. Find someone older and wiser who can pour their life into you. I once heard a man say that everyone needs three people in their life: A Paul – an older wiser person to mentor you in the faith. A Silas – someone who is a co-laborer with you in the faith. A Timothy – someone you can pour your faith into and mentor as you grow older. Which one is missing from your life?

3. Barry Bowyer – Barry was an elder in one the Churches I served in my early years of ministry. He showed me how to be a better father and how to be a better Christian. He lived out his faith in a difficult environment and remained true to his convictions. Later he would become an associate of mine and would then leave to serve as a house parent for children whose parents were in jail. His life was a model of faith, leadership and love.
Great leaders in the Church are an extremely valuable asset. Take time to thank those people who lead you. Your life and Church would not be the same without them.

4. My Wife – My wife has an enormous servant’s heart. She thinks of little things like giving small gifts to children, writing to people (cards, emails and texts), visiting with people, developing people for ministry and doing anything that needs done without glory or recognition. I am an introvert who struggles in relationships, but I would be much worse if it were not for my wife.
As I have said before, serving affects the lives of those you serve and those who see you serve. Our impact is greater than what we immediately see.

Honestly, all of us who follow Jesus are serving in a ministry. Maybe that is helping with worship or children’s Church or Sunday school or anywhere. Who shaped your life and the way you do that ministry? I thank God for the influences who have shaped my life and I pray that I may impact another person the way these people have impacted mine.

I have been thinking about the biggest influences in my life. Sometimes those people did not even know the impact they had on me. Others I have had a long relationship and their impact is undeniable. But I have put together a short list of the people who have had the biggest influence on my life and especially my walk with Christ.

1. My Parents – they taught me about Jesus, took me to Church and have encouraged me every step of my journey. They have not only had an impact on my life but also the lives of my children. I am thankful to have been raised in a Christian home by two wonderful people. I am also thankful for the unconditional love they have shown me through my unbelievably stupid teenage decisions and my failures even as an adult.

2. Virginia Vannice – She was my 5th & 6th grade Sunday School teach at Woodland Heights Christian Church. She scared me to death but taught me to trust my Bible, read my Bible and memorize it. Many of my foundational beliefs were formed in that tiny room downstairs by a woman who taught with an iron fist and a marshmallow heart. I thank God for women like her who teach children week after week, month after month and year after year.

3. Dan Booth – One of my high school youth group sponsors. He taught me that it is okay to laugh as a Christian. He was the perfect balance to Virginia. She was strict and serious and he was happy and fun. I watch him as an adult suffer through the loss of a teenage daughter and still hold onto his faith. I have seen him make bold decisions for Christ while continuing to teach and lead. I am thankful for anyone who helps to serve with teenagers in youth groups all over this country. Teens are not always an easy group to love and serve and I am thankful for those who do it.

4. My Preachers through the years. – Jack Austin taught me a love for great preaching. Ben Wilson taught me to love the words of the Bible. Larry showed me a huge heart for Christ. There were others through the years who preached and impacted my life. For some it was one sermon while for others it was a little longer, but they also had an impact on my life. I continually thank God for the preachers I get to hear in person, on the radio and in podcasts. They have shaped my faith with their words and their lives.

5. An Unkown Woman. – My best friend died on a Sunday morning in 1990. After I received the phone call I drove to Church and told my parents. Everyone quickly heard the story and tried to comfort me. Most people said really stupid stuff. Some of it was almost hurtful. One woman, who was the wife of our youth ministry intern, came and sat down beside me. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me on the check and sat quietly. Finally she whispered in my ear. “Jesus loves you and I love you.” Those words carried me through a funeral that ripped my heart out, then through a year of near depression and finally into a faith that I still have in dark times today.
Later I found out that when she was in Bible college a van wrecked and killed her best friend. She knew the pain and quietly calmed my soul. I do not know her name but her words still help me to remember the basics of faith – Jesus loves me and other people care about me too.
I thank God for the people He has sent into my life that have touched me in a profound way through a word, a card or some small way.

Andy Stanley tells of the Church he leads surveying numerous people to see what they felt helped grow their faith. They came up with 5 similar responses with one of them being “Providential People.” Those are people God sent into our lives who shaped and molded in one time acts or through years of teaching. I know this to be true through personal experience. I thank God for the people He has sent into my life. I hope you would take time to thank Him for the people in your life. I ask God for more willing parents and servants who would impact their world. I pray that you would “ask the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into his harvest field.” Finally, I take comfort in knowing that the impact of our lives will never be fully known until eternity. Like George Bailey in “It’s A Wonderful Life,” the world would be a different place without people who sacrifice and give selflessly. I thank God for them and hope that I am one of them.

I was having a conversation this morning that inspired my thinking for the day and inspired this post. I was talking to another man about teaching teenagers. At times it can be one of the most incredibly frustrating jobs in the world. Teens get bored easily, they lose interest quickly and they are often in their own little worlds. Having worked with teenagers my entire ministry I have seen my share of failed lessons and disinterested kids.

Then I replay my life. I will be honest, I have had some great teachers through the years, from elementary to college I have been truly blessed. With that said, I can barely remember anything they taught me. I remember a line here and there from a lesson they taught, but most of the information has been lost. What I remember from each of my teachers is their life. While I cannot tell you the exact lessons my teachers shared with me I can tell you several things about each of those teacher’s personal lives. I can tell you that some of them knew the Bible very well, others had huge hearts, some were extremely talented and many were just normal people who loved Jesus.

I spend a lot of hours worried about my sermons and studying for my lessons and most of the material will be quickly forgotten. Often I encounter people who will not teach because they do not know enough. I think that most people miss the most obvious part of teaching. The message is inseparable from the messenger.

At the end of the day I remember one thing from all of my Christian education. I remember the people who touched my life. I remember YOU.

That leads me to two thoughts. First, thanks to all of you who give your time. You have made an impression on me and countless others. Second, who will remember you? Who will be thankful that you took the time to share your life? Often a poor lessen delivered with an open and honest heart is the best lesson in the long run.

I am about to celebrate 34 years being a follower of Jesus. There have been a lot of ups and downs during those years. There have been moments of perfect faith when I walked out with Jesus on the water and did not sink. There have been moments when my faith was so week that I couldn’t even see Jesus outside of the boat while I hunkered down and hoped he wouldn’t see me. I have felt the extremes of joy and the depths of depression. Through all those years my faith has ultimately grown, but I have a few confessions to make.

I still have doubts about certain aspects of faith.
I still have questions about Jesus.
I still find it hard to read my Bible.
I still struggle to worship every Sunday morning.
I still do not understand a lot of deep doctrine.
I still am confused by the Old Testament
I still have issues with some of the other people who claim to follow Jesus.
I still feel guilt in my soul when I remember certain sins.
I still want to have a bigger faith.
I still wonder if I will ever feel completely mature as a Christian.

The reason I feel compelled to tell all of you this is because when I get Christians to really open up about faith, I find they usually feel the same way. Maybe there is a since of comfort that we all struggle in this thing called faith. All of us have doubts and questions and issues that we are working through. None of us has it all figured out – none of us.

One of the great things about faith is that no where does the Bible imply that we have to have all the answers or completely understand all that we believe. Instead the Bible invites us into a journey of following Jesus through everything we think and feel. I picture it like a marriage. I have days in which I don’t feel love or understand what is going on, but I stick to it anyway. What I find is that through the years the issues get smaller, I grow in my understanding and eventually I realize that most of my struggles weren’t really ever that important.

I still have issues. I am still going to keep following.

The apostle Peter had done the unimaginable. He had denied that he even knew Jesus. He did it not once, not twice, but three times on that dark night. We have no idea what he was thinking. Maybe he was scared that they would crucify him with Jesus. Maybe he simply did not want to align himself with a failed leader who was about to die. Maybe there was something darker in his soul that we will never know. No matter the reason, he denied knowing the man who he previously had said he would stay beside till the bitter end.

Fast forward several days. Jesus is resurrected. The apostles have seen it in person. They have touched the nailed scared hands and felt the power of life over death. I am sure Peter wanted to talk to Jesus and explain what had happened. He wanted Jesus to know his contrition over the previous events. Finally in John 21 we are told that Peter gets his chance to talk to Jesus. John 21:15-19 tells the story. Three times Jesus asks this deeply penetrating question, “Simon Peter, son of John, do you love me?” Scholars tell us that Peter and Jesus keep changes the Greek words for love and sheep/lambs that they are using. In fact, I have heard entire sermons based off of this changing of words and their meaning. On top of that, I have preached on the number of times that Jesus asks this question. Three times Peter denied and three times Jesus asks about love. A reaffirmation for every denial. Finally one day I looked at what Jesus told Peter after after Peter had responded that he loved Jesus. All three times Jesus says something about his followers. “Feed my lambs,” “Take care of my sheep,” and “Feed my sheep.” Then I noticed something I had never seen before. After Peter had failed Jesus did not tell him to take some time to heal. He did not tell him to sit back and come to peace with what had happened. He didn’t even tell him to step away from ministry for a time and focus on his own soul. Jesus does the unthinkable. He tells Peter to get back up and start serving other people. Jesus words for Peter are that he needs to teach other people, care for other people and preach the gospel to others.

My fear is that when we fail we tend to turn the focus back onto ourselves. We use our difficult situation as a place to sit back and “be fed,” which is our way of saying “do nothing.” Maybe Jesus is pushing us another direction. Maybe the best answer to our failure is to reaffirm our love for Jesus and then start serving. Maybe we need to take the focus off of ourselves and put it onto others. Nothing helps people grow more than teaching. Maybe Jesus knows that we should not withdrawal from community when we fail, but rather embrace community as we work through forgiveness together. Maybe Jesus knows that our greatest failure can be our greatest point of service. Who better to speak to people who are struggling with doubt than Thomas and who better to speak to those who have failed Jesus than Peter.

Every time I fail I find myself back on the seashore with Peter ready to offer up my excuses. Jesus patiently listens and then tells me to feed his sheep. I look for an easier answer, but so far I have found none. Christian service is not about being perfect, it is about standing up and serving even when I have failed.

This is a phrase I have hated for years. I hate it for a couple of reasons. First, it is not found anywhere in the Bible. I think we should call Bible things by Bible names and this does not fit that description. Second, I really dislike the word relationship to describe how I follow Jesus. Again it is not Biblical and the Biblical words are follow and obey. Having a relationship sounds very feminine and I think can lead to men rejecting Jesus (But that is another blog for a different day).

With all that said, the older I get in my walk with Christ the more I starting to embrace the concept. The main reason is because relationships have dynamics that are hard to explain. If you asked me to describe my relationship with my wife or my parents or my children, it would be hard for me to explain how I think and feel about those people. I could give you some facts about how many times we have said this or done that, but that still falls short of what my exact relationship with those people is like.

I am starting to think this is also true in my following of Jesus. If you wanted to know about my relationship with Jesus I could tell you about how many times I have been to Church or how many books of the Bible I have read or even how many times. But is that a relationship with Jesus? A relationship is an ever evolving thing that changes in dynamic with each new experience. How can I explain to you the comfort of my faith when my best friend died? How can I make you feel the depth of forgiveness I felt after I sinned in a major way? What words would describe that quiet joy I felt with the birth of each of my children? Is there any way to explain how I felt when the money that came in unexpectedly when I had a bill that was about to go unpaid?

Through the years I have had numerous personal experiences with Jesus in my life of faith that you will never fully understand. In the same way that I cannot fully explain the relationship I have with my parents or the love I feel for my wife or the joy and heartache my children bring into my life, I cannot fully tell you what it is like to spend a life with Jesus. I want people to know what it is like. I want you to know what it is like. But to fully understand what it is like to follow Jesus you need to experience for yourself – or said in another way – you need to have your own personal relationship with Jesus.

I few months ago my wife and I asked one of my boys about girls. He explained how he didn’t have time for them. He had no interest in any type of relationship with any girl. Now, six months later he can’t go more that a few hours without texting one of them. He is head over heals for a girl. You know, one of those creatures he didn’t have time for? We asked him what changed in his mind and he had no answer. Something happened that flipped his life upside down and he had no idea what happened or how to explain it. I think the same thing can be true between us and Jesus.

What is a like to follow Jesus? That is hard to explain, but I can promise you that it will change your life.

I love to read blogs and I am always bookmarking the best stuff. I also love to share what I am reading

Here are two about family and two about Church

Church –

1. 14 Characteristics of Guest Friendly Churches is over HERE [you might also check out THIS POST too]

2. Would you rather? Competing choices for growing Churches is over HERE

Family –

1. 5 Bad Substitutes for Discipline is over HERE

2. Real Life Job Descriptions for Dads – over HERE – made me smile.

I read this article today and it touched me. It is entitled “She is a Public Nuisance” and was published on challies.com by Tom Challies and David Murray

My neighbor is a public nuisance. It’s official, actually. She has been declared a nuisance which means the police are no longer obligated to respond to her phone calls. And she calls them a lot.

I first encountered Elizabeth a few years ago when I saw her propped up on crutches, trying to sweep several centimeters of snow off her very long driveway. I grabbed a shovel, cleared off her drive, and have been doing it ever since (see here). She is a fascinating woman who has lived in this neighborhood since before I was even born. She is well advanced in years and full of fascinating stories. But, sadly, she is losing her grip on reality. Through a long history of belligerent behavior and a shorter history of paranoia, she has alienated herself from every other neighbor. She has a reputation in this neighborhood and is the butt of many jokes. Most people just know to keep their distance.

Elizabeth recently called me over to her home to have me replace a lightbulb in her basement. While I was there, sorting through a box of many, many long-dead lightbulbs, she explained her most recent crisis. She had awoken from a nap just a few minutes earlier to find that someone had snuck into her house and varnished half of her coffee table while she slept. She was beside herself with concern and was planning to call the police. I looked around and saw every evidence that she had varnished half of her table, taken a nap, and, upon awaking, forgotten that she had ever begun. But I couldn’t exactly tell her that, could I? She called the police who opted not to respond.

This is just the most recent in a long series of similar incidents. Last year she accused local politicians of sneaking into her car port and dumping oil underneath her [very old] car as come kind of retaliation. She was upset and perplexed that the police didn’t believe her and refused to write up a report. Before that she accused local garden center workers of prowling her garden at night, splitting her hostas, and carrying away half of each plant. And before that she was convinced that the mayor had sent a team to break into her house and spray her furniture with a clear coat. Again, the police did not buy her story.

Our neighbors find this all hilarious, but I find it sad. It is sad to see her descending into paranoia and living on the edge of reality. She lives on her own, her sons have little to do with her, and she is steadily growing worse. But despite it all, she maintains her independence and walks to the grocery store just about every day, summer or winter, rain or snow. She tells me she is a medical test-case who has refused every medication doctors have offered her, and she just keeps going. Every Halloween she hands out grapes and bananas to the few children who will brave her driveway, every Christmas she brings my kids a little gift of hot chocolate, every summer she leaves her garden wild and untouched and considers it her pride and joy. And almost every week she finds another reason to call the police or to write another letter to the local newspaper. As eccentric as she is, I consider it a privilege to know her.

I have another neighbor who is quite a lot younger than Elizabeth. He is advanced and successful in his career. He makes lots of money and is quickly climbing the corporate ladder. He drives a nice car and speaks highly of himself and his accomplishments. He engages in banter with all the neighbors (except Elizabeth) and is well-known, well-liked and much admired. But he is also proudly atheistic, boldly denying the very existence of God.

Of these two neighbors, which is more to be pitied? Which of the two lives under the greater delusion? Is it the neighbor who can’t remember that she began to varnish her coffee table, or the neighbor who denies the very existence of his Creator? The Bible tells us “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’ (Psalm 14:1).” Romans 1 insists “[W]hat can be known about God is plain to [all humanity], because God has shown it to them (v. 19).” One of my neighbors is succumbing to age and infirmity and living in a sad fantasy. The other is willfully blinding himself to the most obvious reality in the world—that he and all that he sees and experiences have been made and formed by the Creator. He, by far, is most to be pitied because he, by far, is in the most perilous condition.

Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another village. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty. Then for three years He was an itinerant preacher.

He never owned a home. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never had a family. He never went to college. He never put His foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place He was born. He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but Himself…

While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against him. His friends ran away. One of them denied Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed upon a cross between two thieves. While He was dying His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He had on earth – His coat. When He was dead, He was laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend.

Nineteen long centuries have come and gone, and today He is a centerpiece of the human race and leader of the column of progress.
I am far within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, all the navies that were ever built; all the parliaments that ever sat and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has that one solitary life.

This was adapted from a sermon by Dr James Allan Francis in “The Real Jesus and Other Sermons” © 1926 by the Judson Press of Philadelphia (pp 123-124 titled “Arise Sir Knight!”).