A local Church was hosting a blood drive through the Red Cross last week. They took over the building’s fellowship hall, and people were coming by all afternoon to donate. The goal was to get several gallons to bless the local hospital, especially through the holiday season. It is an interesting endeavor as the nurses were there to take blood from people willing to donate it for the benefit of others.

That night I was scrolling through the movies on my streaming service and saw the Twilight series of films about a group of vampires. Vampires are fictional characters that subsist by feeding on the blood of the living. They also collect blood from people, but it is for their benefit only.

The next day two different people came through the front door of my Church to visit. One walked out, leaving me full of joy and peace afterward. The other left me feeling sad and depleted. One wanted to serve others with the grace of God. One wanted to take from the Church and complain while doing it. One smiled and spoke of blessings, while the other had only depressing stories of defeat. One of them came bringing life, and the other came to suck the life out of me.

Everyone walks through their day, making an impact on others. Are you like the Red Cross or a vampire?

We live in a time when people are feeling scared, sad, frustrated, confused, and uncertain. Many of these emotions are not the result of sin but a confusing year filled with Covid related issues.

Here is my simple response to however you are feeling right now. Don’t go through this alone. Whatever emotions are tearing at your heart, someone else is feeling it too and wants to help. Perhaps, no one can fully understand what you are feeling, but the best thing to do is lock arms and walk into the darkness together.

While it is usually associated with the military, collateral damage refers to any incidental damage caused by an activity. 

I often read about the struggles caused by divorce and a broken relationship in this way.  When two people separate, there will be an impact on children, friends, jobs, and all overlapping connections.  There is relationship collateral damage.  It is frequently used in the business setting as well.  A company is bought and sold, and the workers can find their job leaving as a part of the collateral damage. 

What I want to suggest to you today is that there is collateral damage in faith too.  Whenever someone falls to sin and gives into temptation, it impacts more than just the person involved.  Our sins, mistakes, failures, trespasses, and ungodly behavior ripple out into every corner of our life.  One major blunder can change the course of your life, and also your children’s lives, your friends, the class you teach, and the ministry you lead.  Unfortunately, one conversation I repeatedly have is with a young person who is disillusioned by a believing adult’s choices.  Every time we step out of God’s will, it sends out a wave that will ripple over the lives of others, especially young people. 

So the next time you are tempted to disobey God, one question to ask yourself is, “how will my choice impact others?” Sometimes that one extra question will give you the strength to say no and move away from that sin that is so enticing.

Each life is the result of the positive influences of others through Jesus.  It can also be damaged by the negative actions of others when they don’t follow Jesus.  One failure can change a person’s life in ways you never imagined; keep that in mind the next time evil whispers in your ear, “No one is going to get hurt.” 

One of the phrases that God keeps bringing to my mind lately is, “Keep pouring your life into people.” These words are becoming clearer to me as I am only 13 months away from turning 50 years old, and in that time, my youngest will leave home, and I will have an empty nest. Like so many people, my life is moving into a new phase, and with it comes new responsibilities as a believer.

Perhaps the most significant thing each one of us who follows Jesus can do is pour our lives out for God. But it is equally important that what we pour out is filling up other people. Throughout your life, God allows you to gain an enormous amount of knowledge. Some of it comes from books, but that majority comes from life experiences. You have learned through success and failure what does and does not work in this life. You also have skills and talents that can be taught to others and used for their benefit.

The temptation when you reach a certain age is to set back and coast. You tell yourself, “I just need a little time for myself.” Phrases like “It is time for someone else to step up” become your excuse for inactivity. What if instead of setting the cruise control for comfort, we took what we know and have experienced and shared it with someone younger? What if we poured out a lifetime of insights gained into a person who is just starting?

There are a thousand ways to do this, and all you need to do is have to find one that works for you. You can step up to teach a class, volunteer in a prepared position, mentally adopt a young person to help, become a mentor, be a youth group sponsor, coach a team, lead an organization or pray daily for random people who you might bless.

Through the years, I have watched person after person slip into the comfort of self-absorption as they move into the second half of their life. The call of a believer is not to retire but reenlist. We are to take what God has given us over the first half and help someone who is now on that journey as a single adult, newly married couple, or just starting a family. Life is hard, and people need all the help they can get. God has spent your life pouring into you; now it is time for you to tip the handle and pour back into others for the good of his kingdom.

A lady who worked in research most of her life stated that her goal was to study people’s behavior and trends to predict and control future actions. As a result of this type of research, we have things like polls to determine what people think to help us know how future events will transpire. We also have tests performed like Pavlov’s dogs to understand how the simple ringing of a bell can control our desires. Researchers then provide their findings to everything from psychologists to marketing companies.

This desire to control and predict is, I believe, part of how God wired us together as humans. When humanity was created, it was to have dominion over the world God had made. This work includes planting and sewing, but it also involves preparing and planning. In an effort to be good stewards of the Lord’s creation, humanity started researching what he had given them.

The problem with this mindset is that you cannot then turn and apply it to God. We will always fail when we try to predict or control the actions of the Lord. I have seen it lead people to frustration in their faith. For some, it will push them away as God does not do what they desire. They say prayer X, and therefore God should do Y. They go to Church with their spouse for several weeks; therefore, God should heal their marriage. They attend two months of Bible study and deepen their knowledge of faith, and then God should give them that thing they want. “If we do this, then God will do that” type of thinking will always leave us disappointed with God.

One challenge of a believer is to let go of the research mindset. We are called to listen closely to God’s voice and follow him, never wholly knowing what will happen. That is why it is called faith. It requires trust that God is doing the right thing at the correct time and in the best possible way. God is beyond our control, and we cannot predict his actions correctly. We need to accept this as part of our journey of faith for us to experience joy. We never know when and how God will work and what exactly it will look like in our life. Faith is giving God control and us having no ability to predict or control what will happen next.

Last Saturday, my youngest son played in his last high school football game.  The loss that ended his season also brought to completion an era in my life.  My four boys have been involved in football for a total of 14 years.  All of them played in youth leagues, Pop Warner, Jr. High, and High School.  At one point, my wife and I were watching four games every week.  She and I have spent an unbelievable amount of time in the stands and on the sidelines watching the boys play every position on the field.  Our stories are many, and we have learned a couple of lessons along the way.  Today I wanted to share the most significant thing we learned.    

Youth sports should be FUN. 

In the early days, I was an obsessed father.  I pushed the boys to work hard, got angry at refs, and yelled at people, especially coaches.  When others were not meeting my expectations, I stepped up as a coach.  Then the game happened where I had a meltdown.  I screamed and yelled and let out all my frustration.  It embarrassed me, but it forced me to take a long look in the mirror.  As their father, I had to admit I was one of the people who was killing the fun of sports.  From that day on, I began to adjust my attitude and shut my mouth.  If I were honest, it took a few more years before I was completely willing just to let sports be fun. 

Don’t build your life or your child’s life around sports.  If you do, it will set both of you up for heartache and disappointment.   Scholarships are a mirage, and professional sports are for elite players.   Overpriced colleges like to offer small scholarships to get your kids to come to play so that the college receives the large tuition.  It is a business that thrives off the dreams of young athletes.  You know by the time they are in high school if they are a one in a million elite kid.  They win state championships for big schools or physical gifts that make them a freak of nature. Parents have to get their kids to understand the point of each sport is not some payout at the end but a journey of enjoyment with friends. 

Since those early days and my attitude changed, my boys have been criticized for one thing.  Usually, a coach tells me, “They don’t take it seriously enough.” Others have said, “They spend too much time having fun in practice.” Every time I hear something like that, I smile and laugh.  I know what I want my boys to remember about these days of youth football.  I want them to look back with joy at the good times they experienced, the friends they made, that one memorable play, and smile over all the fun it brought to them. 

When my son walked off the field on Saturday, neither he nor I cried because it was not the end of a dream. Instead, he came over with a smile and hugged his mother and me.  We told him we were proud of him, and we look forward to the next thing in his life.   No regrets, only happiness. 

As he writes the story of his life in Ecclesiastes, Solomon says that there is a time for everything under heaven.  Here in the United States, this is the week of Thanksgiving, and tomorrow will be the time set aside for us to be genuinely thankful. 

While I believe we ultimately need to thank God for every good gift in our lives, this is also an excellent time to be thankful for what other people have done for us.  My encouragement is that over the next few days, you say these words to people, “I am thankful for the way you have blessed my life.” You can be specific, or you can leave it open-ended.  Either way, take the time to send the text, make the call, write the email, or sign the card. 

Here is the exciting twist as you show your gratitude, the recipient will be blessed through your appreciation of them.  They will be happy that you noticed their behavior and said something.  It truly is a win-win whenever you take the time to say thanks.  It is great to find a way to be a blessing to others during a year full of uncertainty.  There is no better time to be thankful than the present. 

Is that even possible? Can someone truly be thankful for a year filled with so much turmoil, uncertainty, and restrictions? There have been ugly political battles, racial tension, and overwhelming disagreement on how to handle Covid. How can you have thanksgiving amid these days of upheaval?

Paul writes in Ephesians 5:20 “…always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (NIV 2011) Christians are people who give thanks for everything. That means even 2020 has contained reasons for us to be grateful.

I put together a shortlist of the reasons I am thankful for 2020.

1. This year taught me the value of community. This year I have connected to people in the Church I lead at a level I have never experienced. First, I missed being with fellow believers. Then I felt frustrated by some of the decisions and conflict. Finally, I opened my heart and life to those who decided to stick together through this year. The result is that I have felt closer to people, shared more, opened up to others about my joys along with frustrations, and now I have a community who stands beside me.
2. This year has taught me the value of technology (and its shortcomings). I, like everyone, have been blessed that the internet, social media, live streaming, and digital communication could help the Church survive this time. It also made me see the limitations and the need we all have for real human connection.
3. This year has taught me the value of every day and hour. When the future is uncertain, you learn to appreciate today. Each worship program, football game, fellowship meal, youth group, and connection time feels like it could be the last for a while. We might have to social distance or spend time in quarantine, or even shut down any day now. This forces me to enjoy the moments the Lord is giving me. Knowing that sickness could come and be fatal at any time forces you to give thanks for every day you have with someone you love.

These were the three biggest reasons I am grateful for in 2020. This is not a complete list as I could spend time writing about personal changes and growth, the Core52 journey, the upgrades at the Church building, the people willing to continue giving, and my new friends in ministry. Even while the funny memes keep coming out about how bad the year 2020 has been, I still have dozens of reasons to be thankful. I pray that for the next few days, you will quiet the sounds of struggle in your mind and sing out a song of praise for all God has done, even in such a strange year.

The Apostle Paul writes to the Church in the city of Thessalonica and gives them several instructions on what to believe and how to live in light of that belief. In chapter four, the section is entitled by the translators “Living to Please God.” In the middle of that section, he says that this type of life is filled with love for others. Then he adds a line that I find profoundly inspiring. He says, “…and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you” (1 Thessalonians 4:11 – NIV 2011).

He writes to “make it your ambition.” Some translations say “aspire,” and others say “desire.” When we think of someone who has ambition, we usually picture a person driven to achieve. They have a goal and will stop at nothing to accomplish their dreams.

The goal of a believer’s ambition is quite unlike others in one way; they desire to “live a quiet life.” I think to understand this statement, you must picture the opposite. Someone who lives a loud life is always trying to draw attention to themselves. They talk loudly, post everything on social media, speak of themselves frequently, and love the spotlight. Paul writes that a believer’s life is entirely different. They do things in private, no one really knows how they spend their time, and they usually step away from the stage to work behind the scenes.

Paul then gives us two follow up phrases to make sure we fully understand. He tells people to “mind your own business and work with your hands.” A person living a quiet life is not interested in gossip or possibly the latest social media updates. Instead of being curious about other people’s affairs, they throw themselves into their work and do the tasks only they can accomplish.

Occasionally, we are called upon to lead and use our gifts for God’s glory in front of others, but our primary ambition is to live a quiet life. I know this type of person will never become famous, win awards, or be the talk of the internet. But if our goal is to live a life that is pleasing to God and give you peace in your soul, then none of those things matter anyway. Perhaps Paul writes this because he is not so interested in us being known as having a life well-lived. If that is God’s desire for us, maybe it should be our goal as well.

Can we agree that some things in life can only truly be learned through experience?

You can date people, read romance novels, and even do Bible studies on the topic of love, but you do not understand marriage until at least 25 years of being married to someone. If you disagree with that, then you have not been with someone that long.

You can watch other people’s kids, read books about parenting, and even talk to other parents, but you do not understand being a parent until you have children. Even then, it takes a good 21 years to get any handle on what you are doing.

My dad spoke about knowledge in two ways. There was book learning. He often included the word “fancy,” as in “that fancy book learning.” The other type was what he called “street knowledge.” Those are life lessons you gather from having experiences, both good and bad, that make you wise in a practical way.

I believe that faith is really only understood through experience. You can read your Bible, books about religion, and even attend a Church, but you will not know faith until you have tried to do it. Nothing can compare to risking it all on God and then seeing him show up with ten seconds left on the game clock. No book can tell you what it feels like to be at the end of your rope, and God sends a sweet messenger of grace to speak light and life into your soul. I cannot put into words the emotions of watching someone positively rebuild their life because of something you taught them. Some things defy explanation and are only obtained through street knowledge.

This Sunday, I will step to the front of the Church to preach again. The words are full of hope, life, and grace, and I pray that people will listen. My biggest hope is that people will take those words and attempt to do them throughout the week. Information is useful, but personal experience is a much better teacher. If you want to know what it means to be a Christian, plan on coming Sunday, but you will not completely understand what I am saying until you do it next week.