One year ago, I decided to write a book on small community ministry. I have now spent almost thirty years working in small communities and little Churches across this country. I developed an outline, chapter topics, and began the process of writing.

During this time, I went to conferences and seminars on the topic of the rural Church. I sought out blog posts on the subject and began gathering more information. I suddenly began to see a large number of books being published on the same issue. It seemed everyone who had walked a similar path as mine was writing a book and saying all the things I wanted to say. Right now, I have no less than four books on my shelf on this topic to read, and another 20 in my Amazon wish list that I might decide to read one day.

After all these books hit the shelves, I stopped writing. The document still exists, and I keep it on my computer. In fact, I keep it on my desktop near the top, just a little left of center. Every day I sit down to work, there is this lonely little icon of my unfinished work.

What I am going to say next might surprise you. I assume most people would say something like, “Don’t be a quitter. Don’t give up on your dreams. Get back to work. You can do this.” Those are the standard pleas people give to uncompleted tasks.

Today, I am going to tell you something completely different. It’s okay that the work is not finished. I can let it go and move on. Not all ideas are great ideas. Not all work is worth finishing. It is okay to find a new dream.

After much thought and some prayer, I have decided to give up on that book. This year I have an idea for a new book, and it is a story that only I can tell. I think it is a better opportunity for me to do something I love in a way that blesses people. I am excited about the door that has opened and the ideas that are flowing.

Too many people carry around guilt for uncompleted tasks. We once had this dream, and people believed in us, and we do not want to disappoint them. As a result, every day, the icon gets bigger and more intimidating. We resolve to finish that one task that we dread and end up doing nothing. My encouragement today is to put some old dreams in the dumpster and form new ones. Your life has changed, and God may have exciting new paths for you to tread. The delete button is a necessary part of moving into the future.

Don’t worry, this is not a movie review or some heretical piece about how “the force” is like faith in Jesus. No, this is a simple observation.

The latest Star Wars movie came out before Christmas, and my family decided to see it together. My wife, out of her devotion to us, watched all the previous eight films in the series so that she could understand the show (She skipped Solo and fell asleep while watching Rogue One).

Finally, my vacation started, and we all loaded in the van and went to the theater. While I was watching the show, something dawned on me that I had never noticed before. In every movie, the Resistance that is portrayed as the good guys, are always in the minority. Palpatine and Vader can always summon thousands upon thousands to the dark side. Those who fight against oppression for the cause of freedom are always just a handful of people. They are always desperately outnumbered, lack the latest tools, and seem weak to those who observe them. The people on the side of good are a handful of true believers in the cause for which they fight.

This truth is found in the story of the people of the Christian faith. Small is the number of those who work for good. Darkness has legions, and they seem to have the power to do anything they desire – there a just a brave few who stand against evil. Courage is standing with those few other people fighting for what you believe matters.

The flip side of this tale is equally compelling. The good guys always win. Sure, they don’t win every battle, but they succeed when it matters. The power of a few true believers is still stronger than the forces of evil.

While the movie played, I could not help but find some encouragement. If you have ever felt alone in your faith, know that there are a handful of us fighting beside you. We may not seem like the most significant or strongest army, but by the power of God, we will win. We, the people of the real resistance must keep fighting the good fight and the goodness of God rule in the end.

Two years ago, I saved an article in my files entitled “The First 25 Years are the Hardest.” It was written by a minister who was celebrating his 25th wedding anniversary, and his father, who had been married 50 years, gave him that one statement about his marriage. I have never forgotten that advice and have read the article a few times, and I guess that is because one week ago I celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary. For us, it has been an exhilarating thrill ride from the beginning. I was never sure we would make it here as either my heart would give out from the stress or my wife would wise up one day and realize how big of a goofball I really am and leave me for a better man. Well, neither of those things happened, and here we are today, married for 25 years. I thought I would take this time to reflect on what I have learned so far on this journey through life we are making together.

1. Make Christ the Center of Your Home. Faith is the glue that holds people together. I do not have the time to explain all that means, but let me say this: It has helped us to be on the same page in our decision making, parenting and goals. It has enabled us to practice forgiveness and grace when one of us needed it. It has helped us to move past materialism and egocentrism. Often our faith is unspoken, but every workday (5 days a week) for the last ten years, I hit my knees in my office and pray. My first prayer is for my wife and her safety, love, sanity, and work. I believe my prayers have helped both of us make it this far.
2. Communication is King. There is no problem a couple cannot work through if they are willing to talk about it. Usually, I have seen this from the wrong side. A conflict comes, and I realize it is because we have not addressed it together. Always be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
3. Love Languages are Real. Learn the way your spouse desires to be loved. This will open a whole world of joy for both of you. We tend to do for our spouse what we want to be done to us. This does not work. For me, this has meant learning to be physically affectionate outside of the bedroom. I rub her head, back, hands, and feet regularly. It has created a bond that I pray helps her to know how much I love her.
4. Do the Right Thing. When we get mad at our spouse, the temptation is to withhold our kindness. You spoke mean to me, I will show you, and I will not pick up the dishes after dinner. This type of thinking does not work. Be proactive and love your spouse when they least deserve it. Be the type of person you would want to come home to each night.
5. Don’t Give Up. Don’t Ever Give Up. While we never really talked about it, divorce has never been an option. In fact, in twenty-five years, I do not think that word has ever been said in our house. Even when I was a complete idiot, we never thought about separating. It has not always been easy, and the first twenty-five years may have been the hardest, but we are still here and still holding onto each other.

These are the biggest lessons I have seen in our relationship over the years. Maybe you have something to add. I wrote up a pretty long list of things I think have helped us like saying, “I love you” daily, doing little things for each other, and don’t go to bed angry. When the list was made, these five have been the biggest lessons I have learned, and I hope you find them helpful.

Today I am going to step out of my usual routine of writing and tell everyone about an exciting thing going on in the Church I lead.  Today we are starting a program called Core 52.  This is a one-year journey to improve your knowledge of the Bible.  Along the way, we will read a book together, watch videos about Biblical topics, memorize scripture and hopefully begin to see the big picture of the Bible. 

There are multiple levels of connection that are available at Adrian Christian Church.

1. The first thing you need is a book.  [I have them in the Church office, or they are available for purchase on Amazon HERE] Honestly, this is the only thing some of you will need besides your Bible.  At the end of the chapter is a checklist of what you are to have completed that week.  Let it be your guide every week of this program.
2. The second level of participation is there the website – core52.org  First, you will need to go into the upper right-hand corner and register.  Once registered, you will need to login for each use.  Second, once you are into the site, click on the “view lesson” button with the corresponding week of the program.  There is a video for day one and day two.  The first one is about five minutes long and is for the first day of the week.  The second one is to help you memorize the scripture for the week.  The rest of the lessons on the site are the scriptures for you to read in the English Standard Version of the Bible. 
3. Our Church has put together a Facebook group to help encourage you on this journey.  This group is strictly by invitation of two of the administrators.  We want to make sure this is for people who are reading the book and are at least a little connected to Adrian Christian Church. Many people you know are involved, but many are not.  Also note, this is not a prayer request group or a social site.  This is for the material in Core 52 only.  The Church has its Facebook page for other things.  Finally, I (the Pastor) reserve the right to delete any posts I feel are unchristian, highly negative, mean, unbiblical, highly controversial, degrading, or demeaning to anyone. (If you would like to be a part of this group message me through Facebook)  
4. Currently, I am planning a bi-monthly meeting between worship programs at ACC to encourage the participants and keep this program alive for the entire year.  These are not required, but you may find these meetings helpful on your journey. 

Thanks to everyone who is participating, and may God bless you as you learn more about him and his word in 2020.   

Today’s post was written by the children’s minister at Adrian Christian Church, Jaime Isaac. She has been with the Church for over three years and is the mother of two kids.

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I was asked to write a blog post about anything children’s related. I felt like I should start at the beginning with you and explain why children and it’s ministry matters at all in our church.

*Half of the people that believe in Christ do so by the age of 12.

*By the time a child is 9 years old, their basic moral foundation has been formed.

Reread those statements. I could stop writing this post right now and you would see why children’s ministry is so important. Ok, that was easy – Actually, I have lots of other important reasons as to why children’s ministry matters, 4 to be exact. So, I’ll keep going, if that’s ok.

1. Children’s ministry helps the biggest harvest.
   Childhood is the most critical and formative time in a person’s life. It makes sense for a church to make children’s ministry a priority. Childhood is when a person is most open to the Gospel. We have the opportunity to set a child’s foundation of faith starting as early as when they are in the nursery. We are able to share God with some for the very first time and help form their first thoughts about God (even as an infant). We need to expose them early to God so He quickly becomes a part of their lives. I had a friend whose child’s first word was “amen” because he heard it so much. How awesome is that!
2. Children’s ministry makes for first encounters.
   The church could be the first time a child has an encounter with God. What a fantastic opportunity! Parents are the most critical faith influencers in a child’s life, but the church is there to come alongside. In children’s ministry, children are allowed to meet God on their level and in a way that is relevant and developmentally for them. We help that continue at home by working with parents and providing them resources and opportunities to be a faith influencer.
   Other children may not have faith influencers in their homes, so the church will be where their faith starts and grows. Many believers have their first encounter with God in children’s church, church camp, or VBS.
3. Children’s ministry allows for other godly adults in their lives.
   The church enables other adults to be an influence and create meaningful relationships with children. Children are able to see the Gospel lived out in their teacher’s lives. If you look back at your childhood, you can probably think of one adult who invested in your life and took an interest. Developing relationships with kids allows adults to speak into their lives-which is done in children’s ministry. This allows these adults to make such an impact on children’s lives and walk alongside the parents. I became a believer through my Sunday school teacher.
4. Children’s ministry benefits kids.
   The church is a safe place that allows children to ask questions at an early age. As they grow older, they are given a safe place to wrestle with the questions they encounter. In children’s church, they are taught at their level about God and given answers in a way they understand. At an early age, they are taught about God through adults caring for them, then through play, music, lessons, small group discussions, and activities all geared towards them.
   It gives them friendships and helps them learn to love others. It will make them love the church and want to come every week. Children’s ministry will also give them opportunities to discover their spiritual gifts and how to serve others. This is all done in an environment that is set up just for them to help them become the best follower of Christ surrounded by godly adults rooting and praying for them every step of the way.

Jesus loves and values children. “A person is a child only for a short time. And in this short time, the entire course of a life can be altered.” Damon DeLillo.

Don’t you think we should make children’s ministry matter?

Today’s post is from Mackenzie Ferguson. She is a member of the Church I serve and she is also a small group leader for the past several years. She is a married mother of two daughters and has a heart to see people grow in Jesus.

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I hear it time and time again. “I need to get involved with a small group study” or “I need this type of accountability in my life.” So, we choose a study with interesting material, relatable content, set dates, and launch. In my experience, small group studies always start strong, with lots of eager, hopeful participants thirsty for something that has been laid on their hearts. But sooner or later, participation starts to wane. What happened to “I NEED this”? Was it not interesting or entertaining? Was it too personal or too convicting? Or did the day-to-day activities creep into the schedule again, consuming any spare time initially committed to this endeavor? Afterall, …life happens.
Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not pointing the finger at you. I have a 10-year history of leaving small group studies preterm. If I could attach a picture to this post, it would be of my living room bookshelf, where I have an entire section dedicated to all the study workbooks I began but left unfinished.
So, if the studies were so fruitful and powerful, why leave? That, I cannot answer for you. I have a long list of ridiculous excuses that don’t hold up. Every time I look at that bookshelf, I think of all the knowledge and wisdom I turned away from in search of something else, something worldly. Instead of talking about WHY people leave a small group study, I would like to encourage you to STAY and see it through to completion. If you are currently attending a group Bible study, here are a few thoughts that might reverse the urge to say “uncle”:

1. Accountability. Wait. What? This is one of the main reasons people JOIN a study, so what does it have to do with NOT LEAVING one? One of the most effective ways to stay focused when the world starts pulling your attention away is to form a relationship with someone in your group. Find that one person you feel comfortable reaching out to “after hours” and discuss the material on a personal level. Connecting with someone you look forward to seeing will motivate you to resist skipping on those days where it would be way more convenient to stay home with your family. And remember, they’re probably counting on you too.
2. Read scripture. This sounds like a no-brainer, but we often overlook or dismiss common-knowledge options in search of something more profound. Scripture is p.o.w.e.r.f.u.l. It is alive and active, which means it’s going to speak to you. Assuming your study has some Bible verses stuffed somewhere between 25 personal-reflection questions, carve out some time to look those verses up. Give the Lord a chance to talk to you. Use your Bible phone app on your lunch break, or set it to audible while cooking supper. There may be some incredibly valuable lessons from the author you don’t want to miss, so rely on the Word of God to pierce you and motivate you to keep advancing through the study.
3. It’s not all about you. Choosing a study that is relative and interesting to you is important, but there’s more… We can’t overlook the plausibility that God positioned you in that specific room with those specific people to carry out His will. Whether it’s recounting personal experiences, carrying out mission work together, or simply forming a friendship with another believer, you can be an asset to someone else’s faith when you’re obedient to Him. You have endured specific events in your life that left an impression on you, and sharing learned-lessons with others for God’s glory may be the reason you’re still pondering the option to stay.

If you are currently enrolled in a study, or about to sign up for one, I hope you found some encouragement to press on, and finish to completion. I fully understand what it’s like for interest and attention to start slipping in week 4 of an 8-week study. So, if you’re thinking of parting-ways early, grab a friend, read through scripture, and execute some discernment and prayer to seek out what He’s trying to tell you. These points might not get you in a seat every week, but know that others (like me) are experiencing this dilemma too, and we can finish this together.

Today is a new year, even more, a new decade. Before I go boldly into the future, here is a quick review of last year. Here are the top five posts by views over the past 365 days. The year included 240 posts and almost 4,000 views, but these are the best.

5. Exceptions to the Rule

4. What I Tell My Kids After a Game as a Christian Parent

3. Put Grandma’s Bible on the Shelf

2. That Hurt You Feel

1. My Letter of Resignation

I hope you enjoy these as I look forward to another year of posting.

Happy New Year.

Today’s post was written by a worship leader at the Church I serve, Hannah Newkirk. She also works as a school administrator, small group leader, and conference speaker along with being a wife and mother of three girls.

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Raise your hand if you have heard the word “self-care.” (Well, you don’t have to raise your hand physically. This is a blog post after all, so depending on where you are reading right now, that might make things a little awkward.)

I typed “self-care” into my Google search bar, and there were over 3-BILLION results in .75 seconds. Self-care is a hot topic right now around the world.

A definition of Self-Care that I found over on Psych Central’s website is this:
Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Now…do any of those things sound BAD?

Is it a bad thing to take care of our mental state? No.
Is it a bad thing to take care of our emotional state? No.
Is it a bad thing to take care of our physical state? No.

But I would argue that there’s an essential piece missing from this definition: Spiritual Health.

You see, when we leave a relationship with Jesus out of the equation, self-care can quickly become self-centeredness. When we leave fellowship with other believers out of the equation, self-care can quickly become isolation.

So what can we do to make sure we are caring for ourselves in a way that will keep us healthy enough in all aspects to pour into others?

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Images of other people’s families are available to us at all hours of the day and night. Just open your phone or web browser, and you can get a glimpse into the lives of your friends and family. Please remember, this is a highlight reel. Most people are choosing the high points of their day to feature on their social media pages.

What elements are often missing from these posts? Big piles of laundry on the couch, dishes filling the sink, piles of shoes by the front door, sibling arguments, and difficult parenting moments.

In the book Love Your Life, Not Theirs, Rachel Cruze says, “There is no room for discontentment in a heart filled with gratitude,” which leads us into our next idea.

Be grateful.

In his book The Mood Elevator, Larry Senn says that “we all ride the mood elevator up and down every day. How well we do it impacts our relationships…and our experience of life.” Senn completed a research study and ranked the wide range of emotions and feelings, according to the effect they would have on a person’s mood.

At the bottom of the “mood elevator” would be the emotions or feelings that put us in the worst mood. The lowest three are depression, anger, and stress.

At the top of the “mood elevator” would be the emotions or feelings that put us in the best mood. When I first read this study, I really thought “joy” or “happiness” would be at the top of the elevator. However, sitting at the very tip-top of the mood elevator is gratitude.

A few months ago, Brother Matthew (the author of this blog), said, “We need to anchor our lives in a position of gratitude.”

When we are counting our blessings, it is often hard to find something to complain or worry about. Taking time to identify what we have to be thankful for every single day is a critical piece of self-care.

Be present.

Put the phone down. Turn the TV off. Make time for one-on-one time with your husband or wife. Enjoy silly little moments with your family. Eat supper at the table. Sit on the front porch and just breathe in the air around you. Look people in the eye. Have a conversation. Be vulnerable.

Finally, Serve others well.

I think this is where the balancing piece comes in. Society has led us to believe that self-care involves pulling away from others to “take care of yourself,” but the Bible teaches us about all kinds of people who served well.

To serve well, we have to be intentional in what we are choosing to be involved in. Serving well doesn’t mean we have to be all things to all people. When you are serving well, you’ll be energized and not exhausted. So choose wisely. Sometimes this means saying “no” to things that don’t line up with your gifts, your schedule, or your passions. And that’s okay.

Yes, let’s take care of ourselves…mentally, emotionally, and physically. But let’s not forget that the real source of joy & peace is Jesus.

As we go into a new year, let’s also make sure that our self-care program keeps HIM at the center.

Here is a post from Jaron Scott. He is a former children’s minister at the Church I lead and is now an outstanding preacher in the city of Joplin. These are his thoughts for today.

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I read an article recently titled, “Disney ruined a generation’s ability to be realistic about love.” The article was directed towards my generation, the millennials. The author argued that the movies we watched growing up convinced us that real love looks like a supermodel who can cook and catch butterflies on her forearm instantaneously falling in love with a model of a man who’s come to save her from all of her issues. The article says that those movies gave us unrealistic expectations that ruin relationships. Some of you know the disappointment that comes with being in your first few months of marriage and your spouse doesn’t do all the things you expect them to do which are things they never agreed to do and honestly things they could never do. Unrealistic expectations ruin relationships. Relationships with God aren’t spoiled by unrealistic expectations; they’re spoiled by unbiblical expectations. Our relationship with God isn’t spoiled by unrealistic expectations, because He can do anything you think He can do. Our relationship with God is spoiled by unbiblical expectations because He never promised to do everything you want Him to do. Whether it be a chapter from a book, a sermon from a preacher, or idea from the American dream, we’ve gotten the idea that God blessing me means He’ll give me good health with no sickness, a lot of wealth with no hard work, a happy family with no drama, a church that does all the things you’d like with no contribution on your part, and a peaceful death in the rolling hills of Kentucky. Countless people are disappointed and distant from God because He didn’t make our unbiblical dreams a reality. If we hold onto fairytale expectations of what we think it means for God to bless us, that don’t match the ways God said He’ll bless us, we’ll miss God’s blessing and miss the opportunity to live in God’s blessing. In 2020, make it your practice to expect biblical blessings. Search the scriptures for blessings that God promised to give Christians and expect Him to make good on those promises. Because I like you so much, I want to provide you with a few blessings to expect in 2020, and these are found in Numbers 6:24-27

1. Expect God to keep you: This means God will see you through any situation that you find yourself in, and make sure you come out more Christlike.
2. Expect God to be gracious to you: This means God will be good to you, not because you do good, but because He is good.
3. Expect God to give you peace: This means God will provide you with wholeness, starting with wholeness in your relationship with Him and others.

Regardless of what’s behind you, you can go forward, living the blessed life by expecting God to make good on the promises that He’s made, not the ones that you’ve made up for Him. Live a blessed life in 2020.