In 2014, I wrote a blog about the Pastor’s Christmas Card – HERE. Since I published it, there have been thousands of hits every Christmas season. It is my most viewed post of all time, and several people have told me it was helpful information. Today, almost ten years later, I am going to revisit it.

So here are my thoughts on what I would like to hear as a pastor in my Christmas card.

1. Write Something. Every year, I get piles of cards from people with nothing inside but their names. A cheap card can be redeemed with a personal note. An inexpensive card with only your name tells me you sent this out of obligation and to clear your conscience. Take the time to write anything from a line to a paragraph to express your feelings and thoughts.

2. Tell the Truth. Don’t exaggerate. Many people will write about how much they love their Church and Pastor and only attend once a month. If you really loved me and my preaching, you would be here more often. Your Pastor knows the truth; you do not have to lie and exaggerate your love for him and his ministry. Here is a line I like: “Every sermon I have heard is well done.” Or something like: “I can tell that you really do care about people.” Perhaps simply, “I truly appreciate you and your work.”

3. Be Specific. It honors me that some people “enjoy all my sermons.” But I would rather hear someone tell me they understand grace better since I speak about it regularly. Tell me which sermon or sermon topic you liked. Tell me what you have learned from me specifically. Tell me about the time I prayed with you. Tell me how much you appreciated that visit and when I said that one thing. You get the idea. Remembering specific details underlines how much of an impact I had on you. Mentioning something that no one else may have noticed is deeply touching.  

4. Avoid Passive-Aggressive Statements. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at what some people write. I have read things like, “I enjoyed that one time you visited with me, and I wish you would do it again.” I know that people are well-intentioned, but some cards are used as a backhanded way to tell me what they want. I once received a card with money inside as a gift, and the card then proceeded to tell me how I could use the money to purchase some nicer clothes to wear on Sunday. I appreciate the thought, but it also hurt me.

5. Compliment My Wife. People often have nice things to say about me and are very complimentary. Well, my wife donates hundreds of hours to the Church yearly simply because I am the Pastor. It makes me feel like we are both loved when you mention her and her efforts in my ministry. And when you forget to add her, it hurts her when she reads it.

6. Mention Your Prayers. Several times in the New Testament, Paul tells a Church or an individual that he is praying for them. Of those times, he often mentions specifically what he is praying for. He tells the Church that he is praying they will understand the fullness of Christ. He tells individuals that he is praying for their ministry. Obviously, do not lie (once again). But if you do regularly pray for your Pastor, tell him. It is wonderfully empowering.

7. Including a Gift is Tricky. A gift card can be a double-edged gift in many situations. For example, let’s say you give a $25 gift card to a restaurant that usually costs about $50 for a meal (with a tip) for two. Now, you have given me a $25 expense. In the early years of ministry, I did not have the extra money, so my wife and I “re-gifted” most restaurant gift cards. We would have to pay a sitter, drive to a place of someone else’s choosing, and then spend money we didn’t have on top of the gift card. We were grateful for the thought, but honestly, cash or nothing would have been better. Genuine and kind words are a blessing without anything else included.

These are simple suggestions; please do not run out and copy the lines of this post specifically. Be creative and put your spin on it for your Pastor. I would also say that many of these ideas apply to the elder, deacon, staff member, ministry leader, or any other person in your Church who is a blessing to you. Every Church leader loves to hear about how they are appreciated for what they are doing for God. May your words be a blessing to those who serve in ministry.

These are the things I enjoy most about Christmas as a Pastor.

12. Christmas music about Jesus played everywhere.

11. Giving gifts and cards to those who love and support me.

10. All the volunteers willing to help with Christmas programs.

9. Warm fires, hot chocolate, cookies, candy, twinkling lights, and conversations.

8. Nativity scenes as decorations celebrating the birth of Jesus.

7. Christmas movies, especially A Charlie Brown Christmas.

6. The candlelight program at Church and singing Silent Night together.

5. Spending time with family.

4. Children’s programs and watching kids sing for Jesus.

3. The generous spirit that prevails in the hearts of people.

2. People willing to attend Church who usually would not be.

1. The coming of God’s chosen Messiah. The Lord Jesus.

There are people in my life who I care very much about who are also far from Jesus. I pray from them frequently as a Pastor and friend. I have developed three very pointed prayers about each situation through the years.

1. Pray that circumstances in their life will open the doors to the gospel. This asks God to work in their situation and do things that might open their hearts to hear about Jesus. This can be as small as an unexpected bill a friendly Christian pays or as big as the doctors asking for more tests. My prayer is that God will do things that might lead to Christian conversations.

2. Pray that God would send people into their lives in the name of Jesus. All of us are powerfully swayed by the friends who surround us. One positive influence can change the direction of a person’s life. My prayer is that God would send a co-worker, team member, new neighbor, or someone into their life to bring that positive impact for Jesus.

3. Pray that I would have the right words to say at the right time. I know my life will be connected with them because of our relationship. I want to ensure that I do not miss opportunities to share Jesus when we are together, but I also do not want to overwhelm someone when they are uninterested. My prayer is that God will make me wise in my every interaction.

When I have a non-Christian in my life, I do not pray that God will save them. I am not seeking him to overpower their will and make them into reluctant children forced to state their love. I want them to come to Jesus and have a genuine personal relationship with him. So these are the three prayers I regularly pray for those who need Jesus.  

This year, several people in the Church I lead have been attempting to do “intentional discipleship.” The people who have stepped up as leaders in this project have been using one of two books to assist them. One is titled “Rooted,” and the other “The Disciple’s Journey.”

It has been exciting to see people stepping up to disciple others, and it is equally thrilling to see people grow as followers of Jesus while being discipled.

As the year winds down and most groups finish, I have had several conversations about the process. Some people loved the material, and others didn’t. Some people didn’t like the time commitment of daily readings and weekly discussions. The feedback has been insightful for improvements in the coming year.

The most common response has been, “They want to know what study we are going to do next.” The people who went through the material loved the small group of 2 or 3 people working through a book. They wanted to keep learning together as a group when it was finished.

While this is not entirely bad, there is a need for a mindset shift. This adjustment is from “I want to know more” to “I have so much to teach others.”

Jesus, after spending three years with his disciples, instructs them to go and make disciples. Then those people will go and make disciples, and so on and on it goes. The goal is not for us to keep learning and learning throughout our Christian lives but for us to keep learning and teaching others. 

These are two very different viewpoints. It is like going to a restaurant, eating a delicious meal, and saying, “I am going to come eat this every week.” Compared to having a meal and saying, “I want to make that at home for my family and friends to enjoy too.”

Most people who tell you about their issues are not looking for advice. They do not want you to solve their problems. 

People want to talk through their struggles more than find an answer. Or perhaps they want to talk through the answers until they are ready to act.

Listening is a vital act of friendship. It doesn’t necessitate psychological wisdom but requires you to give up your time.

Few people remember the reasons for their choices, but they can definitely tell you who listened to them as a friend when their decisions were complicated.   

It has been said that what you see in the world reflects what is in your heart.

To a thief, all men are thieves. To a liar, all men are liars. To the person who hurts, all people are out to hurt them.

An optimistic view is also possible.

To a kind person, other people are kind too. To the loving person, other people are loving individuals.

What you see in the world says more about you than about other people.

Churches love to exalt their preacher or worship leader. The people who take center stage often attract the most attention and, therefore, are often considered the biggest heroes of the group.

As a preacher, I firmly believe that nothing the people on stage do would mean much without several unsung heroes.

1. The people who make the serving schedules. Trying to coordinate a large group of volunteers is incredibly complicated. Someone always wants time off or has special events that change the original plan. Putting it all together each week is a challenge.  

2. The people who pick out the songs and plan the worship program. Each week seems so streamlined, but it requires effort. Finding songs that match the sermon and then getting them in the correct key for everyone to sing isn’t always easy. Working on special music weeks in advance and ensuring everything flows is time-consuming.

3. The people who input and run the computer. There are two sides to what you see on the screen each week. First are the people who input everything, find backgrounds, and spell check. Second are those who run the computers on Sunday morning, ensuring everything is on the screen at the right time. It is far more complex than it appears.

4. The people who run and maintain the sound system. Since we have a different group of people singing weekly, sound checks and adjustments must be made every week. Cords, mics, and batteries all often need to be replaced. The sermon will be heard through a speaker system, just like the worship. Without these dedicated people, nothing gets heard.

As a preacher, I can tell you that very little happens on Sunday morning without these people. Most of their work will go completely unnoticed until something messes up, and they will only hear complaints. But I am here to tell you that behind the scenes, the people who do these four things are the true heroes of faith.

Whenever you name something, specific meanings are invoked by the word you use.

The Church of my childhood was led by a board with a chairman. He assigned people to committees for the work that needed to be done. The words evoke a picture of people sitting at big tables whose primary responsibility is to make decisions. There are presentations, discussions, and probably a vote.

I was dying under the weight of all the committees and meetings when I became a pastor. I was standing in my alma mater’s bookstore when a man overheard the conversation and said, “Perhaps ministry teams could save your Church.”

The word “ministry” conjures up the image of people serving the Lord. The group is doing something for other people in the name of Jesus. It is an active word with spiritual overtones.

The word “team” is exceedingly familiar to most people. It is a group of people working together for victory. They put aside their differences for a singular goal of success in their activity.

When used together, those two words capture what the Church is about. We are about serving the Lord Jesus together to make and grow disciples.

Decisions must be made, but those are not the end goal. The hope is that people will work for the kingdom of God and do it together. I think the man in the bookstore was correct, “Perhaps ministry teams could save the Church” from the onslaught of committees. 

The Church leadership article stated, “As the Bible says, ‘Where there is no vision, the people perish.'” The writer was referring to the future plans of the organization as inspired by the pastor. It was a challenge to be forward-thinking.

A quote like this sounds great until you do some digging. If you looked up the verse they are quoting in the New International Version, you would see it reads like this, “Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint. (Proverbs 29:18)”

Those two things do not sound much alike, so what is happening?

The writer was quoting the King James Version of the verse. It is not so much a mistranslation as words coming to mean different things historically. The word “vision” was not used as forward-thinking until the last 50 years. The English Standard Version translates it as “prophetic vision.” The word for vision is the concept of special revelation from God. We might understand it as the Bible.

“Perish” is also a little tricky to translate into English. The word “restraint” is reasonably close. The primary connotation is that people will do whatever they want. They will make up their own rules and laws, which often lead to destruction. This unrestrained lifestyle leads people away from God, where they will perish.

This verse is not a plea for visionary leaders or an organization like the Church will die. Instead, it is a plea for people to turn to the Bible, so they do not have to live in chaos. 

There is an increasing push on the leaders of the local Church to become like the CEO and board of a growing business. The leaders are decisive, draw hard lines, the bottom line dominates discussions, and everyone has an equal vote. In fact, many Church leaders who blog continually refer to the business books they are reading and teach how those influence their thinking. The common thought is that businesses like Chick-fil-A, Starbucks, Amazon, and Apple have much to teach the Church about leadership. 

In contrast, I continually see that a family is one of the primary metaphors for the Church in the New Testament. The local Church is one big happy family. Numerous analogies are used, but I find this one to be the most challenging regarding leadership today. 

Family leadership is so unlike the business world. In the family grace rules, forgiveness is required, some lines are hard to draw, everyone’s opinion is considered, and each member’s physical, mental, and emotional health is primary.

When you are in a family, you learn to deal with aging parents and the value of compassion. You walk through the searing pain of loss together. We all have that crazy relative we have to learn to handle in group functions. There is the heart-wrenching difficulty of forgiving and being forgiven. With children comes the nearly unbearable emotional trauma of the prodigal son. Every day in a family seems to teach you more about communication, love, mercy, along with dependence on others. 

I firmly believe that great Church leaders are not forged in the board rooms of corporate America; instead, they are made at the dinner tables and living rooms of our homes. 

Often, I will ask someone to step up as a leader in some area of the Church, and they give me a list of reasons they are not qualified in response. I am convinced that if you have faith in God and years of family experience, you have all you need.