We dump coffee down the drain every week after our worship programs are over at Church.

This happens not because we are wasteful but because we plan to have enough for everyone. If anyone walks into our Church, we want coffee for them. As a result, we make a little more than we think we need. 

Every week, we expect people to come and bring guests, and we want to show them hospitality in this little way.

This extra coffee reminds me every week that there are more people we need to reach for Jesus. And our Church is ready to welcome them with open arms and a fresh cup of coffee.

A member of one of the Churches I led used to repeat the same little proverb to me.

He would say, “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”

I did not completely understand it at the time; I simply laughed at his quirky wit. Now, I am starting to comprehend the wisdom.

This year has flown by, and I cannot believe it is almost December. My birthday is not too far away, and I have more than half my life in the rearview mirror. I have completed 30 years of ministry and am only six months away from being at my current Church for ten years. 

Time flies. This seems especially true as you get older.

Since this is true, the biggest question we can ask is not, “How many days do I have left?” Instead, it is, “Am I using my days wisely?”

I hate buying T-shirts. Even if they look good in the store, the question is always, “How much will it shrink when I wash it.” Sometimes, there is none, and sometimes the change is dramatic. It results in a few shirts I wear in the summer, not from Thanksgiving to New Year (if you know what I mean).

Shrinkage can be a problem for clothes. It is a more significant issue when it comes to our hearts.

There are numerous ways to describe what happens to a person over a lifetime. Your heart can become calloused, or it can become black, or it can shrink. It started happy, healthy, and the right size, but it can reduce a little every year. People turn their back on you, and someone hurts you. There is the loss of people you love, and other traumas are like hot water on new cotton; soon, the item no longer fits.

One struggle over the life of a believer is to fight shrinkage. At least I know it is for me.

I wish I could offer you a straightforward solution, but it takes concentrated effort over and over for me. I read my Bible, pray, write a thankful journal, spend time in quietness and reflection, do things I enjoy, try to connect to people who share my faith, and spend time with family.

For some of the shirts I buy, I am meticulous about how I maintain them. No hot water is used; they are often air dry only, and I make every effort not to shrink.

We must use the same energy to ensure our hearts fit us for a lifetime.

There is a long list of things you should do as a follower of Jesus. There is another list of things you should not be doing.

1. Attend every meeting at the Church. Choose one small group and connect with those people.

2. Try to know everyone in your Church. Focus on knowing 6-12 people and have a few quality relationships.

3. Serve in every area of ministry. Everyone should find one or two ministries and do them well. 

4. Fill every night with something religious. If you do something with Church people every night, there is no time left to connect to your spouse, children, or neighbors.

5. Live in constant fear. Do not worry all the time about whether you are doing enough for Jesus. Yes, all of us can do more, but don’t let your sense of obligation overcome your joy.

Choosing to be a Christian does increase your level of responsibility and connection to other believers, but that does not mean you need to live with a sense of being overwhelmed all the time. 

There are two extremes. One is not doing much with your faith. The other is doing too much. I see too many Christians who do not find a happy middle ground. 

Living for Jesus is filled with complex decisions, and your faith in him will be seen in all you do and what you do not do.    

Whining, complaining, venting, frustration, anger, jealousy, and bitterness are the antithesis of happiness. These never produce joy, even in the slightest.

Yet, when other people succeed, it is natural to feel these emotions, especially if it is someone we do not particularly care for. 

Being happy for others increases your happiness. 

Finding joy in other people’s accomplishments and successes, even if they are not friends, still increases your happiness.

You cannot fill your soul with negative attitudes and expect it to overflow with positive emotions. Only by genuinely being joyful for others will you experience the happiness you long for. 

My favorite comedian, Nate Bargatze, was doing an interview, and someone called him “an overnight success,” he responded with, “Just took 20 years.” 

The number of people becoming successful in any venture quickly is minuscule.

The journey to success is long, even the one of faith. Perhaps especially the one of faith.

Set your expectations appropriately, do the daily work, and prepare for the long haul.

Throughout my ministry, I have worked in smaller Churches and repeatedly had similar conversations. One that I hear the most is, “How big do you want our Church to be?”  It might vary in exact wording, but the concept is the same. “You want us to be one of them megachurches, don’t you?”  Other times, it gets a country Church spin, “Our little Church cannot reach many more people.” Finally, “I just love our Church the way it is.”

I could tell you of a hundred similar conversations, all with the basic premise: Our Church is small, we don’t care to reach new people, let’s focus on who we have, it is comfortable right now, and after all, there are not that many people around here who will come to Church anyway.

In the early days, I would confront those conversations with a Biblical fury and shout about the Church attempting to live out the great commission. Later, my heart broke knowing that people were shallow in their faith and understanding of the gospel message that people without Jesus are going to hell.

Right now, I simply want to ask, “Who is not welcome here?” 

If your children wanted to come to Church, would you like a seat for them, a staff person to help them grow, and programs to help make them fully devoted followers of Jesus? You would want them to be in heaven as a result of the work of the Church for Jesus. Each of us could name a relative, spouse, parent, in-law, coworker, or friend headed for a Christless eternity. Those are people we love who need Jesus, and when we say that we don’t want to grow or reach more people, we are saying that even though they need Jesus, they are not welcome here because we are happy without them.

We never use those words, but that is the truth many Christians are unwilling to face.

How big do I want our Church? I want it to keep growing until everyone has a right relationship with Jesus.   

This happens whenever we form an opinion about a person or situation without knowing or considering all the facts. It is the root of all prejudice.

Everyone does it, even Christians. 

It sounds awful, but surprisingly, it can be a good thing.   

As a follower of Jesus, we know that every single person we encounter is a sinner. Everyone you meet is struggling with some issue in their life. And they all need the grace of Jesus along with the love of a neighbor and friend. 

Prejudice is perceived as immoral because it leads to negative behavior. What if you flipped it over, and it led you to become more gracious, compassionate, and loving? 

Every person you meet is harassed and helpless, like a sheep without a shepherd. No matter how rough their exterior or how tough their disposition. They need Jesus and people to show him to them lovingly.

I have already prejudged that I will love others, whether they like it or not.   

I spent the evening running through every possible scenario in my head. If they say this, then I will respond with that. If I say this, I bet they respond with that. 

When I finally hit the bed, I tossed and turned all night, filled with anxiety. Rest escaped me as my mind continued overthinking the interaction that awaited me. I could not eat in the morning as I tried to settle my stomach before the meeting.

In my office, I prayed intensely about what I would say in the coming meeting. I read scripture, and I sought to find comfort in the word of the Lord. I reached out to other people to pray for me, and they offered me wise advice.

Finally, there was a knock at the door, and they walked in and sat across the table from me. I spoke my concerns directly and offered no apologies. My stomach tightened as I waited for their response. They bowed their head and said quietly, “You’re right.”

All my anxiety and rumination had amounted to nothing. In the end, nothing went the way I had imagined. My problem was not real; it was all something I made up in my head.

It is easy to look back and laugh at it all now. At that moment, the problem seemed far too real.

One struggle for believers is to trust God in their reality and let go of their imaginary struggles.

Ask ten people how things in their lives are going, and nine of them will respond with, “Busy.”  Everyone I know and talk to regularly describes their life with this solitary word, “Busy.” People are hurrying from one thing to another with a long list of places to be and things to do.

Each of us needs to consider what we cannot do at a high level if our life is crammed full.

1. You can’t have deep, meaningful conversations in a rush.

2. You can’t be fully present with people while thinking about where to be next.

3. You can’t empathize with others because you are not invested emotionally.

4. You can’t share your struggles with a friend in the spare few minutes of your day.

5. You can’t love well in a hurry.

It is quite possible you are rushing from one thing to another without asking if it is worth it.