Top 7 Christmas

Years ago I used have a Top 7 list every Sunday at a Church I served. I have kept them all in a file. Here are a couple to enjoy.

Top Ten Signs Christmas Will Be Here Soon
7. Pumpkin guts all over my porch.
6. Police investigate the season’s first sleigh jacking.
5. The summer line of swimsuits is out at the mall
4. One word, “bell ringers,” OK that’s two but you get the point
3. People say, “Merry Christmas!” before cursing at you.
2. The cranky old man next door starts putting out reindeer traps.
1. Because I am now just getting around to taking last years lights down.

Top Seven Least Popular Christmas Carols
7. Stalking in a Winter Wonderland
6. Jingle Bell Mosh
5. I Have An Irregular Heartbeat Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum
4. Rudolph, The Red Neck Reindeer
3. Joy to the world, their season’s done, the Chiefs can lose no more
2. Frothy, the Rabid Snowman
1. Elmo roasting on an open fire

Top 7 Signs You Might Be A Scrooge
7. You turn on the lawn sprinklers to keep Carolers away
6. You got your Christmas tree at a rest stop at night
5. Your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic park
4. Your favorite pastime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbor’s Christmas lights
3. You bought all your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas
2. Your favorite Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat
1. Your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin

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