Last week I shared how I often battle with the thoughts I have each day. I shared some of my most common struggles but a moment after I hit the “post” button on WordPress I knew I had left out one of the biggest struggles of all – at least for men. And that is the struggle with lust.

Jesus in Matthew 5 calls men to a high standard of living. We are not just to keep ourselves from adultery but we are to keep our thought lives pure as well. We are not to even look at a woman lustfully. In a world filled with porn as accessible as a phone, gratuitous sex scenes in most movies and where women wear form-fitting yoga pants out in public, it is hard for a man to keep his thoughts pure … even this pastor.

So how do men win in the battle for their thought life? Here are a couple of thoughts that have helped me and might help you or someone you care about.

1. Use the Tools. There is software out there designed to help you in your battle. There are websites that have all kinds of helpful information. There are groups that meet just to help you keep your mind clean. The resources to help you are there if you are willing to use them.

2. Talk to Someone. It is extremely rare that someone is able to conquer their thoughts without the help of other people. We all need someone to share our guilty feelings, help hold us accountable and be a sounding board. This cannot be your spouse. I have never seen this work because the spouse takes it personally and cannot identify with the struggle.

3. Skip Movies with Sex Scenes. I know this sounds knit picky but it has been the single biggest thing that has helped me. That one scene in a romantic comedy can be a “gateway drug” to a lust filled heart. If you struggle with pornography take the time to list the last 10 movies you watched. Then ask yourself how many of them had sex scenes. [Ladies – be aware of this when picking movies.] Trust me. Eliminating these types of movies will help you in your battle with lust.

4. Look once and then turn away. You cannot help but to see some things one time. Taking a long look and a second look can be prevented. A preacher friend of mine says when he is tempted to look a second time he stops and prays for the woman and her relationship with her husband or future husband. I sometimes just repeat to myself, “Get out of your head.” The longer I let my thoughts run wild the more I open the door to fantasy and lust.

5. Get a hobby that keeps you active. Sounds simple enough, but it keeps you focused on something other than the world inside your head. If you have enough time to look at porn on the internet, you have enough time to take up a productive hobby. Remember – “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”

6. Develop a strong relationship with your wife. For all the married men that struggle with lust, you need to hear this. There is no defense like a good offense. Take your desires for another and put that energy into your spouse. Take time to kiss your wife, hold her hand, rub her back, take hot showers together, touch, rub and whatever else fuels the romance in your life. Lusting after your spouse is allowed. In fact, I recommend it.

The male thought life can be a dark and dangerous place. The battlefield in the mind of men is a place where there many casualties have been suffered. I do not know of a single man who has not struggled with it at some point. None – including your father, your husband and your son! The call is not for us to ignore it or keep quiet about it, but to wage war with all of our energy. Today and every day.