Each week I wake up on Sunday morning and wonder what in the world I am doing. Honestly, I am not very qualified to be a pastor. I have a lot of reasons that I think this way. In fact, there are so many that I started a list:
-I am an introvert.
-I would rather avoid people more than embrace them.
-I have skeletons in my closet that embarrass me.
-I am trying to follow Jesus but I am still confused about “loving” him.
-Christian music is okay but lacks variety, so I don’t listen to that much of it.
-My sense of humor is different from many people.
-I might quit ministry but I have no other skills.
-I am opinionated.
-I received the grade of a “C” in my college writing class.
-I don’t care to ever visit the Middle East – aka “the holy land.”
-I read my Bible but wonder why half of the Old Testament is even there.
-I have never been asked to speak at a big conference or national convention; in fact, I find it hard to get the people I lead to attend Church to hear me.
-I still struggle with sin daily.
-My children are not perfect.
-I am not very creative.
-Occasionally I swear.
-I forget people’s names.
-I am sure there is someone better qualified than me to do this.
This list could go on and on.
Every Sunday and then again on Monday and then on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday I struggle to fill my role as a pastor. Friday and Saturday are usually okay since I take most of those days off. But on any ordinary day I wake up, roll over and ask God what in the world I am doing here.
The amazing part to me is that somehow God uses me. He takes my life and my words and puts them together with His power and does something far beyond me. For some reason people respond to my preaching. God takes all of my inadequacies and does his work in spite of me. He takes my messed up, incompetent and undereducated life and reaches people with the good news of Jesus. Every day I think about quitting but then God shows up and covers over all of my issues.
So when someone tells me that they have this reason or that reason as to why they cannot serve. I just want to look at them and say, “Somehow, it will be alright.” God is bigger than you. He will take your efforts and do what you could never do on your own. I am living proof.
Now what was your excuse again?