Many times, we spend our energy trying to avoid blame. We think of all the reasons the issues are someone else’s fault, what others could do better, and how we are not responsible for our failures. This concept applies to almost every area of our lives from our grades in school, our career, our marriage relationship, the ways our children behave, and even our spiritual growth. Surely, if everyone else were more in tune with me and my needs, then life would be better for everyone. The problems with my life are their fault.

This type of thinking is extremely counterproductive. You cannot change someone else. Yes, you can teach and instruct them on the things they can do better, but that is no guarantee of change. You have zero control over the actions of other people, even those you love the most.

The only thing that you can control is your actions. You can think differently. You can behave more productively. You can change yourself.

Because of this truth, when anyone from your spouse to your boss comes to you with a problem, our best reaction is to think, “I hope it’s my fault.” Because if it is your issue, then you can improve. You have power. You have control.

As a believer, I submit myself to the will of God. I believe he is sovereign and had the power to do anything. But I also believe he created us with free will, and as a result, we are required to do the right thing. Our actions create an impact for God, on other people, and shape our world.

We like to think of the week of Thanksgiving as a time when people are happy. We spend time with our families, we eat, and we relax. The truth is that there will be difficulties. Families will clash, ideas will be opposed, and actions will be less than Godly. This week, instead of placing blame on other people, ask a different question. Ask yourself, “What can I do differently?” If we take our responsibility seriously, then we have found a key that unlocks many doors.