Everyone I know is terrible at evaluating themselves. They think they are not very smart when they are brilliant in so many ways. Some of them believe they are fat or ugly when they are gorgeous. For others, the opposite is true. They think that they have skills that they do not possess. Their abilities do not make them the expert they claim to be. Others would call themselves kind and generous because they did that one thing ten years ago.
Most people do not see themselves clearly because they know what goes on inside of their heads. In their minds, they live with the echo of a boyfriend who called them ugly or a teacher who called them stupid. Still, others live with the intentions of the great things they want to do and see themselves as better than they act. The noise in our brains skews our concept of reality, and we do not evaluate ourselves well.
This is another reason I believe the Church is an enormous part of God’s plan. The community can help us to see our lives with greater clarity. When we connect to other people in a deep and meaningful way, they can help us grow. They can tell us what they see that is working and the areas we need to improve.
Each of us needs people to tell all the wonderful things about ourselves that we are missing. The goal is not an inflated head, but insight into the blessing of God in our lives. We also need someone to show us the areas to grow. They can point out our weaknesses, not with an angry or vengeful spirit, but rather in love to help us improve.
If you are not a part of a community of faith where you are deeply invested in the lives of other people, my guess is that you are living a lie. Your self-evaluation is flawed, and either no one is there to tell you, or no one cares enough to tell you the truth.
The Church can be a wonderful group of people who help each other to grow spiritually and emotionally. This is only true if you are willing to open yourself up to others and listen to what they have to say.