Is me. 

And that is humbling to write or say. 

Because my spouse has flaws and issues too. I could probably list them and make myself feel better. 

Because I am a better spouse than many people I know. Compared to others, I am doing well. 

But the truth is that I am the trouble with my marriage, and it is okay. 

I can fix myself. I have the power to change my behavior, my words, my attitudes, and my actions. 

I cannot fix my spouse. 

The first step toward a better marriage is admitting that I am the problem, and I can do better.