Some of my mistakes play on a loop in my mind. They repeat themselves over and over in my brain, never letting me forget my failures. When I close my eyes at night, my sin is ever before me.  

I know that scripture declares that I am forgiven and free because of the work of Jesus. But this part of me does not want to let it go.

If I were honest, part of my problem is that I do not completely trust God’s grace is enough. As a result, I feel this need to replay it as a way of punishing myself. With each remembrance, I feel horrible, and it seems only fitting for what I did. I should feel awful and not be able to escape it.

One part of being a Christian is stopping the music of mayhem that plays in the mind. That does not mean hitting pause and resuming play later. It means hitting remove and then deleting it from your library.