At the youth group gathering our Church leads every week, I noticed one of the boys get up at the start of the lesson and disappear into the bathroom. He didn’t return after 10 minutes, so I went to check on him.

I opened the door to find him wetting his hair and combing it with his hands over and over. He was trying to get that perfect look to impress others. I saw him and said simply, “Let’s go; you are missing the lesson.”

He grumbled and walked out of the bathroom and back into the auditorium.

Since then, I have watched, and he has not returned to youth group for the past three weeks.

I have tried to tell this story based on facts, and without interjecting emotions. This is how everything played out according to my perspective.

I wonder how he tells the story. What was his perspective on the events of that evening?

Does he tell people, “They are so controlling, they won’t let you go to the bathroom without watching you.” Maybe he tells people how boring youth group is and how the lessons have little value, even though he did not hear most of it. Perhaps he attacked me and said, “The pastor is a real jerk.”

Honestly, any of those scenarios and descriptions apply, because they are all partially true from his perspective.

And that is my point.

Whenever someone tells you about their experience at a church, any church, remember that their perspective shapes their story.

So be careful when you hear someone’s negative story about a church, a pastor, or another Christian. There is usually another side to the story.

Before you make up your mind, remember: perspective matters.