I have always had an interest in becoming a stand-up comic. I know there will be people who will smirk and say I am not funny. I understand that I am not currently qualified in any way to be a comedian. As a result, at one time I did some research on how to become a comedian. People shared several stories and ideas of their journey into comedy. One article I ran across was an interview with Patton Oswalt (not a Christian in any way). He told his story of becoming a nationally known comedian. He said he didn’t take a class, in fact, he made fun of people who did take classes usually at local community colleges. Instead, he became a good at telling jokes by standing up night after night and bombing. He shared how he would go anywhere there was an open mic and give it a shot. Over time he noticed what made people laugh, the stories he told well and how to develop an act. His suggestion was that to become a good comedian you need to fail over and over again until you get good at it.

I have found this information to be true of almost everything in life. It applies to preaching. One of the ways to become better at preaching is to preach and teach repeatedly. In the early years of my ministry, I usually spoke more than 100 times a year. This truth extends beyond just preaching in ministry to almost every area where I serve. Over the year my teaching, my small group leadership, my counseling and everything I do as a minister has significantly improved. Each improvement came at the cost of a hundred failures.

So how do you get good at anything? The biggest step is to overcome your fear of failure. That is it. Most people spend their lives as amateurs poking at things with no sincerity because they are afraid to fail.

What if I embarrass myself? What if I flop and everyone laughs at me? What if I make a mistake and say something wrong? What if it doesn’t go perfectly?

Rest easy. You will fail. You will embarrass yourself. You will make mistakes, and it will not go well. This will happen over and over again. Then one day it won’t. One day you will do it right. You will succeed. Everything will begin to go better than you imagined. People will respond, and you will finally feel good about what you are doing.

God calls us to trust him completely. He is working even in our failures. Sometimes his work does not bring about immediate results. Instead over time, he is molding us into the people he can use. All we have to do is be willing to be used even when it doesn’t look or sound pretty.

I have heard this one cliché used by Christians since I was a boy. They say something like, “I just decided to turn it over to God.” Usually the phrase comes up when someone is struggling with a complicated issue. They will talk about reaching the end of their rope and then in a moment of clarity they say, “I just turned it over to God.” The rest of the story usually is about some happy ending to their problems.

The other day I heard it again and I had a small mental meltdown. The problem I see is that the phrase can mean nothing. In other words, I was struggling and I came to the point that I am no longer going to worry about it and let God work it out. I know that sounds nice, but is incredibly impractical and might actually be a bad idea.

My fear is that this phrase and others like it might actually be promoting an attitude of apathy. I will just let God handle my issues, and I will avoid any real work to change.

Giving your life to God is not a passive decision.

1. Turning it over to God means I will seek his will as found in his word. Some things are crystal clear in his word. There are some passages about how to handle forgiveness, sin, marriage and other difficult subjects that must first be read and understood.

2. Turning it over to God means I will pray intently about my struggles. There needs to be a day by day searching for God’s will, asking for his guidance while living in his forgiveness. Trusting God is connected to a commitment to prayer.

3. Turning it over to God means I will listen to the wise counsel of other believers. This can be a pastor, a professional counselor, or just an older believer. Trusting God means listening to those wiser voices who might have a different perspective than our own.

4. Turning it over to God means I will take the necessary actions to bring my life in line with God. Once we have sought God’s leading in his word, in prayer and in other people then we commit to go where he is leading. I have had countless people sit in my office seeking my advice. Then I offer it to them and watch them walk out the door to ignore everything I said. Later they return and ask me for more wisdom and I really wonder why.

5. Turning it over to God means trusting that my actions will not be in vain and he will bring about a positive ending. I may have to work for years to see any results. I may spend months beating my head against the hard wall of defeat. Even if there are no immediate results we keep doing the right thing, knowing that in the end God will make sense of it all.

The problem with most people who say things like, “Turn it over to God” is that they want to skip to number five on my list. They want to sit back and do nothing while waiting for some miraculous result. That is not really turning your life over to God, that is laziness.

I firmly believe in the concept of turning your life over to God, but only in healthy and Godly ways. If you are struggling I hope you will hand over the issues of your life to God and then push forward until you see some results.

One passion in my life is to see people serve the Lord with their gifts and abilities. In talking to people, I am often confronted with the concern over a lack of talent. Many people just do not feel like that know enough or have the right skill set to serve the Lord in a productive way. Lately, I have noticed a ministry that requires little ability other than an open ear and a closed mouth. I call it the ministry of listening.

The need for this ministry becomes clear in conversations, in counseling and even in small groups. There are a large number of people who are just looking for someone with which to share their story. Yes, some people are looking for answers, but that number is limited. Most people know exactly what they should do, they have just not convinced themselves to do it. They want to talk it out. They do not want someone to give them advice, they just want someone to listen to them.

There is a great potential for ministry by simply taking the time to listen to people talk.

I know this is not a new concept to most of us. We understand it. The problem is that we are often way too busy to spend time in seemingly unproductive listening. I know this was true for me until one day I realized that it was not time wasted, rather time invested. Listening is investing in other people for the good of the kingdom of God.

Once you understand this idea as a ministry, then you should build extra time into your schedule. What would happen if you took an extra 15 minutes to actually listen to a co-worker share their struggles? What if you left 30 minutes completely free to listen to your spouse or children? How many lives could you touch for good simply by sitting quietly while other people talk? What would happen to your world if you took some time this day and over the next week to just listen?

I think you will find that listening is often far more influential than talking.

Since my dad passed a couple of months ago, I have worried a lot about my mother getting lonely. I have nightmares of her sitting alone at home crying and wishing she could connect with other individuals. As a result, I have spent a considerable amount of time contemplating living life alone.

1. Do an Attitude Check. In the Church, I have seen several people who were belligerent and mean their whole lives. They were difficult people to connect with, and now they wonder why no one comes to visit them. Ask yourself a simple question, “Am I the type of person other people would want to spend time around?” Then be honest with yourself.

2. Develop Relationships Beyond Your Spouse and Kids. One day your spouse may pass away. Then who will you turn too? Most people think it will be their children, and in some ways, I hope you are right, but you need to think this through. One day your kids will be pursuing a career, raising their own children and seeking their own adventures. They will most likely not be able to sit with you except on holidays. You need to develop healthy relationships with members of the same sex.

3. Invest in Relationships Now. If you want friends in 20 years, then you need to go out and make them now. It is that simple. The seeds you are planting in the lives of other people will be harvested in the fall of your life. Make connections today that will last a lifetime.

4. Being Alone is a Choice for Most People. I often think of two different ladies who are only a few years apart in age. One of them sits at home waiting for people to visit. The other comes to Church, attends Sunday School and is involved in a couple of ministries. She is always spending time with Church people. I think of another couple who attends Church and all the local school functions. These people are out there and active, and they fill their life with people and joy.

5. Technology is Your Friend (Even if You Are Old). Learning a few simple lessons on computers can open up a whole world. You can call, text and video message. The technology out there sounds intimidating, but it can be mastered with a few steps written on old-fashioned paper. Additionally – buy your mom or dad a computer, download the needed apps or programs and then show them how to use. Be sure you connect with them using it yourself!

I know that no one wants to sit at home alone and lonely, but I know it happens. I think the Church has the potential to help and minister in these situations. I do not want to limit the need of those in our congregation to be a light into dark places. I also know there are some things people can do to help themselves. I hope these help you and your family.

Here is a thought for this Sunday and this week. May God bless you all.

Here are some of the best things I found this week. Enjoy.

THE WONDER OF SUNDAY MORNING

11 PAINS OF BEING A PASTOR

Warren Buffett: The Three Things I Look For in a Person – I found this thought-provoking for Church, business, and life.

Bonus Video. This song has ministered to me lately.

And don’t forget –

I take almost every Friday off from work each week. I work on some Saturdays and every Sunday, so Friday is my day off. I write these words on Thursday and just schedule them to post on Friday. I need this day each week to refocus and refresh. You might need to be reminded that taking a day off was God’s plan. Genesis tells us that God created the world in six days on the seventh he rested. God took a day off, and he set a precedent for people for the rest of time.

In the New Testament Jesus was always confronting Sabbath customs and traditions. At one point, he makes an interesting statement that is good for all of us to hear.

Mark 2:27 Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” (New International Version)

Jesus states that a day of rest was created by God for the good of mankind. There was not one special day, and man was created to celebrate it, rather it was the other way around. The simple truth is that everyone needs a day off each week.

With all that said, let me offer a few thoughts.

1. Schedule a Day Off and Keep It. Put it in your calendar and schedule it like any other appointment. I put it on mine and have learned to say no to anything that tries to interrupt. I have had people ask me if I was busy that day and I said yes. When they asked, what was going on, I just told them I had an appointment. I did not say my appointment was with my pillow.

2. Don’t Neglect Worship for Rest. The next verse in Mark 2:28 states that Jesus is the Lord of the Sabbath. It seems odd to try and honor God by resting and then skipping worship of Him. If your day off is Sunday, then I encourage you to worship as a family and then go out and do something you enjoy, even if that is just taking a nap. The God who made a day off for you wants you to remember him as your Lord each week.

3. Rest as a Family. Please, please, please do not give into the pressure of having your children in every activity that comes along. They need downtime too. And you need to spend time with them. Plan a board game, maybe grab a pizza, catch a movie, do an outdoor activity like fishing or hiking, or do one of a hundred things. Spend your down days getting closer to the people you love.

4. Plan Ahead. Sometimes I have to work extra on Tuesday or Wednesday for me to have Friday off. Sometimes my wife cooks meals ahead of time so that she does not need to cook. When football season is on us for eight weeks, we try to have a plan by Thursday night for what our day off brings. Think through your week so that you can maximize your rest and enjoyment on your time off.

5. Let Go of Guilt. It is easy to feel guilty for taking one day a week and accomplishing nothing on your to-do list. We have all this pressure to do this and that every day. We think we need to be the perfect spouse and parent. We give in to the pressure of trying to do everything to make everyone happy. I want you to know that God in heaven wants you to rest. Listen to him and forget anything the other voices tell you.

I take a day off without any work each week. I no longer make excuses for it or feel embarrassed by it. God wants each of us to rest. You need it. I need it. Fight hard this weekend to keep rest as part of your life. You can thank God and me later.

I know it is hard for you to imagine. One day you may do or say something wrong. I know it sounds hard to believe right now, but you have to admit it is a small possibility.

Let’s imagine for a minute that it does happen. My question is, “How are you going to respond to your mistake?”

Our usual course of action is to deny first. Then place blame on someone else. Maybe we offer up a litany of excuses. We downplay the mistake or compare it to the problems of other people.

I want to suggest to you that there is a way to handle your mistakes.

1. Admit it. Say the words out loud, “I was wrong.” These might be the toughest words in the English language to say when they are put together. Verbalize your failure. Tell someone if you hurt them. Accept Blame. Don’t make excuses. Don’t blame other people. Own it as your mistake.

2. Accept Consequences. These may be great or small. This may mean you hurt a relationship beyond repair. It may mean you need to pay for your mistake. It may pass quickly, but damage will be done.

3. Apologize. Say the words, “I am sorry for …” You fill in the blank with exactly what you did wrong. If you have hurt someone the biggest step toward restoration is an authentic apology. You can ask someone to forgive you too, but do not expect an immediate response.

4. Change Wrong Thoughts or Behaviors. If you have done something wrong, stop doing it. It is as simple as that. Change the way you handle people and issues. You do not have to repeat your mistakes.

5. Welcome Grace. Allow God to forgive you and accept it in your heart. The Bible does not talk about the concept of forgiving ourselves. Instead, we are challenged to believe that God has really forgiven us. Jesus died for your sins, and no one needs to suffer for them anymore.

I know all this sounds so simple, but every week I meet people who are carrying around all the baggage from their mistakes. They hold onto guilt and shame. They haven’t said the words that will bring healing. They refuse grace in their life and are unwilling to show it to others.

You will make mistakes. Don’t let how you handle that problem become another mistake.

The Biblical book of Nehemiah is the story of a man, a people, and a country rebuilding its most important city. The people of Israel are in captivity, and Nehemiah leads the renovation process of his native country with the rebuilding of Jerusalem’s protective wall. It is a great story I suggest everyone read.

One of the lines in the story that catches my attention is in the middle of chapter 2 verse 10. There it says;

Nehemiah 2:12 I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do …
(New International Version)

The entire process of rebuilding this great city started with God putting something into the heart of one man. He prayed about what he felt and then God began opening doors.

I do not want to press this story too far, Nehemiah had a unique God-ordained plan, but I do think that maybe God could still put something on the heart of every person. It might not be a massive project like rebuilding a city, but it might be helping a family rebuild. There might be something God has put on your heart. Here a few questions to help guide you.

1. What legitimate need have you noticed lately? Is there something that just hit you recently like never before? Did you notice that kid always wearing the same clothes? Did you see the food pantry was low on supplies? Did you hear about a ministry that needed volunteers? Maybe God opened your eyes to something you could help with today.

2. What themes keep reappearing in your life? I once started a new Church simply because several people contacted me to say I should plant a Church. Suddenly everything in my life kept coming back to this one theme. I could not deny God was speaking to me. What keeps coming up in your conversations and in your life?

3. Are there any thoughts that distract you when you pray? I used to hate distractions when I tried to pray. I have things I am working to accomplish. Then one day I began to listen. That one family that keeps coming to mind when I pray might not be an accident. That one need that breaks my heart might be the voice of God.

4. Does your mind come back again and again to one specific issue? Where do your thoughts go when you are quiet and alone? If they keep going back to that one situation with that one person, maybe God is trying to get your attention.

5. How has God specially prepared you to help? Some of us have been equipped through training or experience to help specific situations. I remember when Katrina hit the gulf the number of construction workers that took up their tools to help. The right people found the right need. Is it possible that God has positioned and prepared you to help someone or something right now?

I can’t answer any of these questions for you. Each one takes some time to process and see clearly. Once you begin to feel a nudge in one direction, I suggest you start praying. After a short period, if the thoughts continue to grow then maybe God is preparing you for a great work.

Nehemiah saw that at that moment in his life God had prepared him to help rebuild a city. Maybe, just maybe, God is putting something on your heart that will help to touch this world.

I thought I was ready to say goodbye. Your body was weak and tired, and I knew the pain needed to end. I knew you had your heart right with God and that you stood on the edge of eternity ready to jump into the arms of God. My mind had processed the next step on our journey was to say goodbye. Still, my heart was not ready.

There were so many boy’s ballgames left to watch.
I wanted you to see what my boys became in life.
There are so many fish left to catch.
So many stories left to share and tell and possibly stretch.
There is just so much of my life I don’t want you to miss.

But God had other plans. He was ready to take you home no matter how I felt about his decision. Life is not the same anymore. When you left, you took a part of me, and I was not ready for that to happen. I have an open wound that is far from healing.

In the two months since you left, I have thought more about heaven than ever before. I have come to see faith as more than just believing in Jesus. It is more than just accepting the fact that he came, died on a cross and rose again. It believes that he has the power to raise each one of us. It is completely trusting that the piece of my heart that was taken from me will one day be replaced.

The Bible says heaven is a place with no more mourning, crying or pain. There has sure been a lot of that this year and I am ready for it to end. I am thankful for my Savior and the promise of eternal life now more than ever.

I wasn’t ready for you to go and I don’t know who to talk to about it. I used to call you or talk as we went fishing. That can’t happen anymore. So, I will just write a few lines out into the dark void and hope someone hears. I pray that God will comfort all of us who have suffered loss. I desperately want those I love to grab onto the hope of heaven and cling tightly until we are all united there one day. Thank God for that hope in life’s darkest hours.