It is time to get honest. I am not proud of these, but I need to tell someone.

-When I learned to ride a bike, every time I fell I would get up and kick the bike as if my failure was its fault.
-I skipped 32 days of high school for no real reason other than to have fun. No one noticed I was gone.
-I hold a pillow when I sleep.
-I occasionally cheated in Bible college.
-I eat my food so that my last bite is the best. That means I eat my pizza and pie backward.
-I have left a store because I saw someone I didn’t care for and didn’t want to talk.
-I have no plans to use Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat. Facebook already drives me crazy.
-I have purposely parked too close. Just to annoy people.
-I don’t understand Jazz music.
-Sometimes I take naps in my office because I stay up too late.
-My dad used to say when we were in a large crowd, “If a bomb went off in here, it would sure kill a lot of people.” I still find that one of the funniest things he said.
-I remember almost everything that has happened to me, some with vivid detail. It is both a blessing and a curse.
-I am forcing myself to quit yelling at referees at basketball games.
-Asking people for anything personally I find almost impossible to do, even if I need the help.
-I listen to music in my headphone way too loud. Now I am getting deaf.
-Twice in my life I seriously considered suicide, now I thank God for getting me through those dark times.
-I am paralyzed by the fear of something bad happening to my children.
-I have nothing saved for retirement.
-Sometimes I have to fake caring about people. Is that wrong?
-I hold my tongue all the time, I have so much I really want to say, but I know it will hurt people.
-I daydream about what it would be like to live my life over knowing what I know now.
-I still struggle with that same old sin.
-I frequently make up percentages on the spot. Well, I do 78% of the time.
-When I see 11:11 on the clock I always say, “You only see that two or three times a day.”
-I love to buy books but rarely take the time to read them anymore.
-I despise soccer, cats, dogs and bananas equally.
-I have embarrassed myself more times than I can count. And no, I won’t tell you the stories.
-I don’t understand why Jesus chose Judas, but I also don’t understand why he loves me.
-It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I learned to embrace my uniqueness … I mean weirdness.

I believe all of us have a closet full of junk. Your parents do. Your pastor does. Everyone you know has a long list of secrets.

You are normal. Confess it to God. Maybe have a laugh … or a cry. Throw yourself on grace. Move on. Today is a new day. Thank God!

My hands have three noticeable scars. Each one is the result of the misuse of a knife. Each one has taught me something. Each one has shaped the way I handle a knife currently.

Scars shape us. I know of people who have large scars from surgery and those who have injuries from accidents. They are physical reminders of pain and hurt along with the joy of being alive.

What is true physically is also true emotionally and spiritually. Those deep hurts we have felt in our souls are also part of what God uses to shape us if we allow him.

These are some of the biggest incidents that God has used to shape me.

1. Loss of Loved Ones
I have lost two people in my life whom I loved deeply. Along with those losses have come a number of other friends who have passed. Each time I have lost someone it has changed the way I treat the rest of the people in my life. It has made me more loving and sympathetic. Loss has a way of making us either bitter or better.

2. Self-inflicted wounds
I will not list all the sins I have committed that have shaped me. Let’s just say I have done some incredibly sinful and stupid things in my life. Each time it has left a deep scar on my soul. These experiences drive me to grace. I have become more dependent on the grace of God and more grace filled in my handling of other people. Sin can either dull our senses or wake us up to God.

3. Lies of leaders
Unfortunately, I have experienced the pain of watching leaders, mentors, and teachers fall. The same sin that caught me at times has also caught them. It is hard to watch someone you deeply care about make enormous mistakes. Sadly, it happens on a regular basis. These situations can remind us of the vulnerability of us all and the need for a close walk with God.

4. Friendly fire
Many well-intentioned Christians have said some very hurtful things. When this happens, it feels like a bullet rips away a little piece of your soul. Occasionally people have given up on their faith because of the careless words of others. Incidents like these can push us to become more forgiving people. They force our hand at either anger or grace.

5. The presence of nothing
Numerous times I have been hurt because the people I know did nothing. They didn’t come to speak with me when I was hurting. They didn’t say anything negative in my situation, but they didn’t help either. They watched me drowned from the side of the pool and just walked away. Some of my greatest pains have come from the absence of love and concern. These hurts are the type that reminds me to always show my compassion. They teach me to speak words of truth and love wherever God places me. They teach me not to turn a blind eye to those who are hurting because it will just cause more pain.

My soul is scared. Some deep emotional cuts will never completely disappear. I hate that they happened, but God in his mercy has used those situations to teach me and mold me into a more Christlike person.

Our scars shape our lives. The pain of scars can make us better people or bitter, angry people. How have your hurts changed your life? How will your injuries shape you?

I hate labels. I hate calling a group of people Boomers, Busters or Millennials. I hate labels like Republican or Democrat. I hate titles like liberal and conservative.

The reason I hate labels is that they are generally true but specifically false. I might be considered conservative on most issues, but also liberal on a few topics. I don’t align myself with all the items on the platform of any political party. My age, my location in the country, my school and even my family do not clearly define me.

I hate labels, and yet the New Testament calls the followers of Jesus “Christians.” The book of Acts states in chapter 11 verse 26 that “The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch.” Apparently, the people who were learning the way of Jesus decided to place his title on themselves. Like a bride taking her husband’s name, those who want to learn from and follow Jesus take his name. We are now members of Christ, we are Christians.

Even though I hate this label, I accept it willingly. I want to wear the name of Christ. I want people to know my allegiance. I want to equate my life with that of Jesus in every way.

The real problem is that it lumps me together with every other person who calls themselves Christians. This issue became very apparent to me over the past week as I have read three separate articles in which people used the name Christian in a negative manner. These reports claimed Christians were mean, judgmental, and supporting ungodly behavior.

As I read these stories I could not help but think, this applies only to a few of the people who call themselves Christians. It is not true for all of us. In fact, I believe it is not true of the majority of us. Please do not paint me with the same brush as you paint those people. I am different from them even though we wear the same name.

With all of that in mind, let me say a couple of things.

1. True Christians are committed to living like Christ. The passage in the book of Acts is used at the Church in Antioch. The whole passage describes people who are coming to faith in Jesus, who are studying their Bibles, learning from the Apostles, and having their lives changed to look like Jesus. These are not people who have a general acceptance that there might be a God. These are people committed to what they believe and are living it out.

2. Just because someone calls themselves a Christian, doesn’t mean they are. If your faith amounts to attending Church a couple of times a year, you are not a Biblical Christian. Sorry. True Christians are someone trying to love God with their whole being and loving their neighbor as a result.

3. All Christians still make mistakes. Even I have said some incredibly stupid and insensitive stuff. I let sin take over my mouth for a time, and I fail to represent Christ. Unfortunately, it happens. Please extend grace to other people in the measure you would want it for yourself.

4. No two Christians are alike. Each one of us is unique. We all have different personalities, different backgrounds, different experiences and different emotions. God calls the many together to form one community. We are not the same, but we have the same God and Savior.

5. Be careful with labels. Every time you say or type the word, Christian, stop and think about how generically you are using the label. Are your words true of everyone you know or just a couple? Is it a personality issue and not a faith issue? Put yourself in their shoes. Categorical statements are often specifically false, so be careful.

I know this is not easy. It is a tension that each one of us lives with as a believer. A friend of mine said he simply stopped using the name Christian and calls us “Christ followers.” It is just another label. Changing the label is not the solution.

The goal of a believer is following Jesus until we become like him. On this journey, we need to learn to work together in spite of our differences. Being called a Christian is not a bad thing if we are all doing it correctly.

In the Old Testament, there is a story about King David bringing the Ark of the Covenant up to Jerusalem. Actually, it is the second movement in the journey of taking the Ark to Jerusalem. The first attempt was interrupted by the death of a man named Uzzah as he reached up and touched the Ark with his bare hands (2 Samuel 6:1-8).

The second leg of the journey comes a short time later as David moves the Ark from the house of Obed-Edom to Jerusalem. As the story unfolds, there is an excellent description of David,

2 Samuel 6:14-16 David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might, (15) while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.
(16) As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.

I love the picture of David dancing and leaping all by himself. The Ark leads the way, and the people of Israel are in the rear walking while some are playing instruments. There in the middle is King David dancing alone with all his might.

As I read the story, I have several thoughts that come to my mind.

First, “Do I worship with all my might?” I am not a dancer, but each week I attempt to sing. Do I put all my energy into my worship of the Lord? What am I withholding from God?

Second, “Am I willing to dance on my own?” I mean this metaphorically. Am I ready to put myself out there? Am I willing to do something radical for God? Am I willing to do my own thing for the greater glory of God?

Third, “Am I willing to be rejected for my actions?” The most interesting line in the story may be the statement about Michal. “She despised him in her heart.” Whenever you do either of the things above, there will be someone to criticize you. “What are you so excited about?” “You are just seeking your own glory.” “You are an embarrassment.” Criticism abounds for those who dance by people who set on the sidelines.

David, this great leader, and a deeply religious man dances before the Lord with all his might. Out there on the road, he dances all by himself in front of the people. I often wonder why no one joined in the dance. Maybe because they joined in with the singing. Maybe they were just afraid. Maybe they didn’t have the faith to step out on their own?

Perhaps the bigger question is “why don’t we dance?” Why don’t we step up and do something radical for the Lord? When are we going to give all of our energy to God in some form? Why not today?

Reading articles about being a Pastor make me feel like a failure. Through the years, I have attended conferences, listen to tapes and CD’s, subscribed to magazines, purchased books and read hundreds of blog posts. There is no lack of information out there on how to be a good pastor or Church leader. My problem is that every time I get more information, I realize how incompetent I am as a leader.

Some people get up at 4:00 am in the morning and keep a disciplined schedule all day. Some people have goals about how many books they read, and they consume more than 50 books a year. Some people have detailed plans of how to connect with other people and network with leaders in both the community and the Church. These guys have excellent skills, and there is no doubt that God will grow their Church.

Me, on the other hand, I like to sleep in if possible. Some days I barely make it out the door on time. Personally, I would like to read more, but can’t seem to find the time. I want to connect, but find myself hiding in my office dreading the work of connecting with people. Most days I struggle between productive labor and a total lack of competence.

Before you make comments and send me notes, know that I am completely okay with this truth about myself. When I started into ministry, it really bothered me that I felt like a second-class pastor who would never get invited to headline a big conference one day. Then one day I read a passage of scripture that changed my life. The Apostle Paul is writing about his ministry and a struggle he had with a “thorn in the flesh.” There he writes;

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (10) That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (New International Version)

The Apostle Paul struggles with some issue, I am convinced it was a problem with his eyes, but that is another post. He struggles, and it left him feeling incompetent compared to other people. God then gives him a clear word, “My power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul realized that anything he accomplished in his life would not be because of his own power, but rather the power of God.

Each day I am learning that God uses me despite my weaknesses and my shortcomings. Anything good I accomplish in my life will not because I am something special but because I worship and serve an all-powerful God. I am incompetent and yet God chooses to use me every week.

I know a large group of believers who feel just like I do. They do not feel adequately prepared or gifted to handle what life is throwing at them. If that is you, I want you to know that God has the power to take our weakness and use it for his good. Availability is more important than ability.

Here is a thoughtful slide for this Sunday –

Here are some good articles for you to explore in the near future. Enjoy.

STOP MAKING YOURSELF THE HERO OF BIBLE STORIES

Boring Church Services Changed My Life

Sex Before Kissing: How 15-Year-Old Girls Are Dealing With Porn-Addicted Boys – A must read for parents of teenagers, especially young teens.

6 TOUGH THINGS THAT MIGHT BE ON YOUR PASTOR’S MIND TODAY – Inside a pastor’s mind on Monday.

5 PASTORAL PROVERBS THAT STUCK – Great stuff for Church leaders.

The Shack – A GOOD MOVIE TO MISS

I find these graphics fascinating –

There are some people I love to be around. From the moment I see them my heart lights up, and I have a smile on my face. There are just certain people who I look forward to seeing.

While thinking about this, I began to wonder what it is that makes some people so attractive to be around. What is it about some people that make them light up your life? In response to that one idea, I started a list of characteristics I find attractive in people. Here it is:

1. Encouraging – Some people always have a kind word. They are positive in almost every situation. They take their positive attitude and put it into words that help uplift others.

2. Giving – Some people are more than willing to share. They are ready to share their time, their talent and even their treasure. They have an open heart and an open life that is reflected in their open hands.

3. Spotlight Others – They say nice things about the people they know. They are not degrading of others. They are not gossips or backstabbing people. They talk nicely about everyone. The result is that you know they say nice things about you to others. This enables you to let down your guard and speak opening without fear of it coming back to hurt you.

4. Thoughtful – Some people just have a knack for making other people feel good. They remember big days like birthdays and anniversaries. They send cards when they are thankful for something. They show concern when they know you are down. They touch your heart when you need someone there to help.

5. Open & Inquisitive – They share their life and continually ask about yours. They are willing to be open and honest about their life but not in a way that is self-serving. They do it to put you at ease and make you feel better about your own struggles. They ask questions about your feeling. They actually want to know how you are doing with everything going on right now. They care about others with their words.

I think most of us would agree on my list. You might have something you would add, but this is a good start. The real issue for us is to flip this concept around. Do you and I possess any of these traits? Do people want to be around us because of our wonderful personality? Is there anything I can and should change about myself to connect with more people? The harsh reality is that sometimes our lives are lonely because we are not a pleasant person to be around.

Maybe we can start to change that today?

Physical health is paramount to me. I would say it is one of my top priorities.

1. I like to exercise. I mean I don’t do it daily or anything. I am not fanatical about it, those people are weird. I just think people should do it and one day I hope to get around to it.

2. I don’t attend a gym. Oh, I visit one on special occasions. I sometimes go if they have something special for the kids.

3. I have lots of books on diet and exercise. I haven’t read any of them, but one day I might.

4. I have lots of healthy friends, and I enjoy being around them. Usually, we talk over chips and salsa at the local Mexican restaurant.

5. I really want my children to grow up healthy. I never teach them personally about health as I don’t want to push my beliefs on them and make them resent healthy living.

6. My local market has a great health food section. I let my children make their own choices about what they buy and eat there. I do not want to push them into eating something they might regret later. After all, sometimes healthy food is boring and I do not want them to be bored while eating.

7. Right now I am overweight, but it is my heart that counts. I really do think about being healthy a great deal when I am home alone. It is one of the more sacred parts of my soul. But, don’t judge me if I consider a bowl of ice cream as a meal once in a while.

Does this seem crazy to you?

Yet, I hear the same craziness almost every week about religion.

My wife and I were recently talking about a couple who once attended a Church where I was the pastor. This couple loved us and supported us through some good and bad times. They appeared to grow in their faith and even assumed some leadership roles. Now, they no longer attend any Church, spend lots of time drinking and seem to be so far from God.

One observation that we made during this conversation was that they seemed to by more attached to us as Church leaders than to Jesus. When we left, their faith disappeared as we drove out-of-town. As we finished our conversation, I grabbed my phone and typed the title to this blog into my notebook app.

It is a complicated issue. I stand in front of the Church each week and speak for the Lord from his word. If I do my job well and the Holy Spirit uses my efforts you will be challenged, encouraged and grow as a believer. The result is that you will be glad I spoke those words, and you will begin to thank God for me. (I am humbled by even this thought). This is all good so far.

The problem comes when we take these thoughts and begin to misapply them.

1. I can only learn through this one preacher
Sure some voices touch us deeper than others, but anyone who preaches from the Bible has something they can teach us. I firmly believe that all preachers can teach us if we really want to learn.

2. The growth God brought through my preacher is because of him
The preacher did not change your life. God changed your life, he just used a preacher to speak the words of faith.

3. Everything my pastor says is wonderful
No preacher is perfect in their life, words, and thoughts. None!! Continue to use your head and search the Bible for yourself.

4. It is no longer a good church without that preacher
Sure, the Church you attend will be different with a new preacher, but as long as it worships Jesus, it is still a Church. If you feel this way, you may have been too attached to the guy in the front and not the people setting around you.

5. My faith is dead without hearing that preacher every week.
I have never heard anyone say this out loud, but I have sure seen it in their actions. The preacher leaves, and they quit their Church and finally their faith. Were you really trusting Jesus or just the guy who was leading the Church? That is a huge difference. This one often comes out with a moral failure. If your preacher committed some grievous sin and you lose your faith, then your faith was built on the preacher and not Jesus.

Here is the bottom line: one day this Church will have a different preacher. I have no immediate intentions of leaving, but what if I did? Even if I don’t leave now then one day, I will retire (hopefully), or I will drop dead. One way or another this Church will one day have another preacher. Would that change the way you feel about Jesus?

I hope and pray that each one of you likes your preacher and he is helping you to grow. I especially hope for that if I am your preacher. I also hope you see a clear line between liking your preacher and loving Jesus. Your future in the faith may depend on this vital issue.