Today is Valentine’s Day. It is a day known for cards, flowers (especially roses), candy and stuffed animals. Men will take their women out on dates and eat fancy meals and watch sappy movies. Many people will spend the day trying to show that one they love how much they feel about them. Today is a soft day that makes us feel good.

One day I realized that love is not always soft. In fact, building a great life of love often requires hard decisions.

1. Love Says No to Everyone Else
Real love looks at all others who vie for our love and firmly says, “NO!” That is more than just saying no to sex with another person. I believe that means not giving your thoughts to someone else emotionally. True love comes to a couple in exclusivity.

2. Love Says No to Everything That Pulls Us Away
I listened to a fascinating sermon recently, and the minister was talking about the dangers of putting your children into sports over Church. Then in the middle of the sermon he paused and said something like this, “One real danger is that couples who spend all their time at children’s sporting events are destroying their marriage.” He went on to say that most couples who give themselves entirely to their children end up having marriages that fall apart. We love our kids, but sometimes you are required to say that your marriage is more important. Maybe for you, that is something like work or even your own family. True love keeps the relationship a priority.

3. Love Says No to Selfish Desires
All of us want to be happy. We want to do the things that bring us joy. Many times, we have to put our own desires on hold for the desires of the one we love. It may mean we have to give up something we enjoy for a period of time. It may mean that we have to struggle with someone rather than be happy for a season. True love says yes to self-sacrifice.

4. Love Says Yes to Hard Work.
Real love is willing to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship together. That can take a thousand forms from doing the laundry to setting down for a heart to heart conversation. It means cooking dinner and seeking wise counsel when necessary. It means holding my tongue and suppressing my anger even when I feel I have the right to explode. It means doing whatever is necessary to make the other person happy without compromising my beliefs. True love is willing to put on gloves and get to work.

All of us enjoy days like today that are filled with warm, fluffy emotions. They bring out the best in us and make us feel good. Relationships that make it, those who spend a lifetime in love, are those who carry out the hard decisions and do the difficult tasks day after day.

I hope you enjoy today. I know I will. I also hope you are willing to get up tomorrow and the day after that and do whatever it takes to keep your love alive, no matter how hard it might be to do.

I first heard the concept of reverse engineering about 15 years ago. A preacher was delivering a conference breakout session. He talked about where we want our life to be 25 years from now. Everyone in the room agreed that they wanted a healthy marriage. We all wanted Godly children who love the Lord and us. We all wanted long and fruitful ministries. Then he asked the big question, “What are you doing right now that will help you achieve these goals?”

It is one thing to ask, “Where do you want to go?” It is quite another to ask, “What are you doing to get there?”

Preacher Andy Stanley calls it “The Principle of the Path.” Basically, he says your life will only end up at the destination which you are walking toward. You will not end up at a location that is different from the direction your steps are taking you.

The application is two-fold.

1. Where Do You Want to Go

What are your dreams for your personal life? What are your hopes for your marriage? What do you hope your children become? What do you want to do when you retire? What kind of grandparent do you want to be? What do you want to be remembered for when you are gone?

2. What Are You Doing Right Now to Get There Later

If you want to know your Bible better, reading Facebook will not get you there?
If you want a better marriage, are you spending time with your spouse?
If you want Godly children, what steps are you taking to instill faith in them?
If you want to retire and use your time to serve others, are you developing your gifts now?
If you want to be a grandparent who is viewed as a spiritual leader, then are you leading anything?
If you want to be remembered as a person who loved God and others, what are you doing that would give people that impression of you?

Most people I know are caught up in the immediate needs of life. They are running here and there trying to make everyone happy. Then one day they set alone in the twilight of their lives wondering how they got there.

A great life is built on the daily decisions that lead us down a particular path. What are you doing today that will make you proud of your life one day?

Here is the thought for today.

Here are some of the best articles I found this week. Enjoy.

A Honey-Don’t List for Wives

3 Signs You’ve Just Had a Great Fight with Your Spouse

10 Myths About Africa Many Americans Believe

Avoid This Everyday Danger

The Limits of Friendship & How They’re Probably Impacting Your Church

Behind our Church building is an old road that goes nowhere. It simply runs through our property and divides two fields. The problem is that it looks like it is a continuation of Edith Street here in town. It runs straight, and kind of appears like you can take it as a back way to Heritage Tractor Sales on the property to the North of us.

After being here just a short time, I noticed that about monthly a vehicle would drive down the road. They reach the end and find there is no way to get from one property to the other. It is a dead-end road.

For over two years I have watched people from my office window drive down the road to stop and come back. Finally, I decided to have the Church purchase a sign to put at the end of the road. I looked at several options and ended up buying a sign that says, “Not a Through Street.” In November, my associate and I put the sign up, and I thought that would end the issue.

This week I watched another truck drive slowly past the sign and then get all the way to the end. They sat for a while before they turned around and drove back down the road. I stepped in and told my associate what was happening, and he said another vehicle did the same thing last week.

I have come to think of this occurrence as a perfect illustration for the Church. I regularly spend time trying to warn people of the dead-end paths in life. I tell them if you keep traveling the road you are on right now it will destroy your marriage, your children, your family and even your very soul. Some people see the sign as an opportunity to stop and change directions before it is too late. Other people ignore all warning signs and drive on as if I was lying. Eventually, they reach the end of the road, and they seem confused as to how this happened. They ignored the sign to their own demise.

Your preacher, your Christian friends, and your God do not want you to go down dead-end roads. We want to you travel the right paths. We are not small-minded or judgmental. We want the best for you, and so we try to warn you. It is not a joke, some of us have seen the other end of the road and know it goes nowhere. We hope and pray you will listen.

Someday you will drive your life down a road from which you can’t return. Our warnings to you to find another route is for your own good. The road goes nowhere.

I wanted to share one piece of advice on prayer that has been helpful to me lately. I simply call it “learning to pray specifically.”

Having listened to thousands of prayers throughout my life and ministry, one day I realized how most prayers we offer are very generic. Once I noticed it, then I began to listen to my own prayers. Without even realizing it I found that most of my prayers had become very unspecific. I understand that this could happen to any Christian. So let me encourage you.

1. Ask for What You Want

Be Direct. Be Honest. Be specific.

-Don’t just pray to resist sin. Pray that you will not fall to the sin of pornography on your computer. Pray you will have strength to stand against the devil. Pray you will have the power to resist temptation. Pray for those moments you are alone with the internet.
-Don’t just pray for your marriage. Pray that God will give you the right words to say to your spouse without being accusatory so as to build your marriage. Pray that tonight you will find 15 minutes to talk deeply.
-Don’t just pray for your spiritual life to grow. Ask God to bless the 10 minutes you have to read your Bible today. Ask him to reveal something new for you to understand. Ask him to show you clearly how to apply what you know.
-Don’t just pray. Be specific. What are you hoping that God will do? What do you really want?

2. Tell God How You Feel

As I read the Psalms, I am always impressed at how David didn’t hold anything back. It makes sense, though. If we serve an all-knowing God, then he knows how you feel already. But like a good parent, he wants you to vocalize it so that you can work through your issues.

-Tell God you are hurting.
-Tell God how much you hate yourself right now.
-Tell God the anger you feel toward that person.
-Tell him, tell him, tell him how you feel.

Then ask him to work through your feelings.

Having those feelings are not the issue, the problem is when you do not work through those feelings. Unresolved feelings of anger leave you feeling bitter. Feelings of unworthiness can lead to depression. Share your feelings with God and work through them so that you can find the healing you need.

Obviously, these are not the types of prayers you shout out on Sunday morning before the entire Church. These are the words you say in private to God. Jesus indicates that is where our prayers are the most effective anyway (Matthew 6:5-6).

I hope the next time you pray you will be open and honest. God can handle it, and you need it.

On January 8th, my dad lost his battle with a series of strokes that started almost eighteen full months before the end. It was hard to watch him go from this strong, stubborn, headstrong man to a weak and frail body. It was even more difficult to finally say goodbye. He was not only my father he was a mentor, teacher, and a friend. As an introvert by nature and a pastor by profession, friends are hard to come by for me. I am extremely close to my family, and I trust them completely. All of that together has made his passing one of the most difficult seasons of my life.

Over the past month, I have noticed a few things about myself that might you to understand someone going through a loss like this.

1. I Am Having Hard Time Controlling My Emotions
Little things trigger the tears for me. I am crying while I am writing this article. I spent the last hour of my birthday sobbing uncontrollably. It seems to come out of nowhere. I see a picture or remember a special time, and I break down. I am still struggling and have no idea when it will end.

2. I Am Tired All the Time
I suppose it comes from the emotional weight. I feel like I am carrying a fifty-pound sack all day long. I feel very little motivation to do things, even the things I enjoy.

3. I am Trying to Figure Out How to Help My Mom
I am venturing out into unknown territory. Mom cared for dad the past couple years, and I want to be there for her now. I am not sure what that looks like yet. I try to text frequently and call every day or two. I am bringing her to visit. I am not sure what else I am supposed to do. I know I want to be the best son I can be to my mother.

4. I Am More Empathetic to Others Loss
I have noticed how differently I feel when I hear the stories of other people losing loved ones. This morning in my prayers I remembered all those individuals who have lost a family member in the past week and I felt a deep, unfamiliar pain. I pray God is using this to soften my heart.

5. I Think About Heaven More Than Ever
I am glad my father was a man of faith. I long for the day I can see him again. I grieve, but not as one who has no hope.

Beside my desk attached to my filing cabinet is a wooden cross with magnets on the back. It hung inside of my dad’s coffin. I see it every day now. It reminds me of my father, his faith and the grace of our Lord Jesus. This has been a difficult time in my life, and with the grace of God, I am making it through each day.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and may God bless you all.

I have a list of fears that guide my life. Some of them are entirely reasonable. I hate big dogs, especially if they run at me. I am afraid of heights and being near the edge of anything very tall. Some of my fears are completely irrational. Don’t laugh at these. I am scared of a microwave blowing up while I am using it. I never stand directly in front of it. I also have this recurring nightmare of finding a human head in a toilet. I always peak in the stall before I enter. (Actually, that goes back to a story I heard as a child.) Crazy huh?

I suppose all of us have a list of fears that affect the way we think and act. Many of our fears have justification in our experiences. Others of them are completely irrational. We have no real reason to believe them, but they scare us anyway. This applies to all areas of life, even our Christian faith.

Here are some of the fears I encounter from people on a regular basis.

1. God is Disappointed in Me
I once heard a Christian speaker talk about his experience with teenagers. He always gave his crowds a survey to see what they were thinking. One question was, “If you stood face to face with God, what would he say to you.” His number one response, “He would be disappointed in me.” Many people feel that way. I suppose we import the encounters we have had with other people and place them on God. If others are disappointed in me, then God must be too. Nowhere does scripture give us this concept. In fact, it appears that God is more focused on your future than your past.

2. God Wants to Punish Me
This one has been around for years. You have possibly heard someone say, “If I went to Church the roof would fall in.” The idea basically means that if I came into God’s presence, he would want to punish me. While God hates sin, yet his primary response is love and grace. God is not waiting for you to mess up so that he can hurt you. He is waiting for you to come home so he can love you.

3. If Christians Knew About My Sin, They Would Turn Their Back on Me
This one is perhaps the easiest to understand. Occasionally we have seen people confess their sin and the response has been negative. Let me be very clear, those stories are the exception and not the rule. I have heard people confess sins that were deep and dark, and yet the Church surrounded them, prayed for them and cared about them. I would guess that 99 percent of the time when Christians hear about the sins of others they meet it with compassion, love, and mercy. Confession is scary but healing.

4. No One Understands My Struggles
I firmly believe this is a lie of the devil. He whispers in our ear and tells us we are all alone and no one will understand. The truth is far different. Everyone struggles with something. Everyone! Whatever you have done, there is someone who understands exactly what you are going through. They want to help you and support you. In fact, even if your struggles are not the same, they still understand the power of sin and want to help.

5. Grace is Not Enough.
We know the ugliness found in our soul. As a result, I believe that many people do not love themselves. We want grace and mercy, but it seems too good to be true. Surely there is a catch. We question whether God could really forgive us with all that we have done and thought. The truth is that God does know us and yet he loves us anyway. He forgives us completely. His grace is entirely sufficient.

I recognize that many of my fears have no real grounding in the truth. I only know of one bridge that has collapsed. Yet I live in fear of them. My children think it is hilarious. I think it is not funny in the slightest. In spite of my fear when I come to bridge I say a prayer, hold the wheel firmly, and press on. The truth stands firm, and I cross safely.

I know that people who follow Jesus also have fears. They might even seem a little funny to other people even though they are real to you. My hope is that you will hear the truth. You will trust God and his word. You will cross over them into the future safely.

I usually have a plan to the blogs I post. I plan them out a week or two in advance and work on ideas in my head for an extended time. Today’s post if different. My words today are fresh in my mind because of last night’s Superbowl. As most of you know, the New England Patriots won the game with an incredible comeback from 25 points down to win in overtime. Nothing more can be written to underline how remarkable this game was to watch.

As the media has also pointed out, it was one of many comeback sports stories over the past 13 months. The Cleveland Cavaliers coming back to win the NBA championship. The Cubs coming back to win the World Series. Clemson coming from behind to beat Alabama in the college football championship. It seems every sport has had some type of dramatic come from behind victory.

This has my mind thinking about the people I know. Some of the people I know are facing a failing marriage. Some of the people I know have job situations that are uncertain. Some of the people I know have committed some ungodly act that has hurt them. Some people I know are at the end of their rope emotionally and are ready to give up completely. There are several people I know who are facing defeat in life. Maybe one of those people is you.

If there is anything that sports teach us, it is that we are never too far gone, there is always time for a comeback.

If you want something more spiritual, the heart of the Christian faith is a story about overcoming. I mean, what is the resurrection of Jesus if it is not the ultimate comeback story. What humanity thought was dead can be brought back to life by God.

You are not too far gone. The situation can be healed. God can bring good out of a bad situation. The story of your life is not over.

Hold onto faith and never give up. Move forward and forget the past. Do the hard work today that will turn your story around.

Trust God and allow your life to become another great comeback story.

Here is the encouraging slide for this Sunday. Enjoy.