Here are the best articles I have read this week –

This Study Reveals The 5 Biggest Regrets People Have Before They Die

12 THINGS PASTORS CAN’T DO

It Took a Successful NBA Coach Only 2 Sentences to Drop the Best Advice You’ll Hear Today

The old joke in Sunday School is that the answer to every question is Jesus, the Bible or Prayer. I know this sounds sacrilegious, especially coming from a Pastor, but those are not the only viable answers. In fact, quite often the answer is not even found in the Bible.

Let me explain. Through the years I have had numerous couples come into my office seeking marital counseling. Something has put them near the end of their rope. Usually, one person has made a mess of things for the final time and now with the end staring them in the face one of them finds religion. I ask them what that means for their marriage. Frequently I hear something about knowing they did wrong, attending Church, reading the Bible and prayer.

Each one of those actions is good in and of themselves. The problem is that they are not what the couple needs. What needs to happen is that the couple needs to make practical steps to deal with each other directly and begin making changes.

I offer this example. If I leave Adrian Missouri and head South, I will not end up in Kansas City because it is North. If I get out on the road and decide that I should be headed North, then I have made a great discovery. I can open an app or a map and see how I am headed the wrong direction. I can pull over to the side of the road and pray about the bad decision I have made that day. I can call Christian friends and ask them for advice on how to get to Kansas City. I can ask them to pray for me. I can cry out to Jesus in an honest voice for help to get to my desired destination. But if I do not turn around and actually drive North, none of those things will matter.

If people want a better marriage, then they need to change their schedule. They need to change their habits and their words. Switch to a new approach to everything. A change in action is the way to fix your mistakes in marriage.

Now, I do think there is power in prayer. I believe that God guides us, strengthens us and gives us grace for every day. I do believe that you need to read your Bible and attend Church. Those are essentials to the Christian journey. But those things will not turn your marriage around unless you begin to act differently.

You can apply this principle to your marriage, your parenting, your friendships and numerous other areas of your life. Don’t over-spiritualize everything. Allow your spiritual life to be the motivation and the power behind your change in action.

Those of us who follow Jesus make a mistake when we limit the transformation we need to the spiritual aspects of our lives. If it doesn’t affect your life in a very practical way, then you may have misunderstood what faith is all about.

Today is February second, better known as Groundhogs Day. I must admit that I never gave the day much thought until February of 1993. That was the year Bill Murray made a movie about this day that remains a classic film. In fact, a couple of channels on my DirecTV are running full day marathons of the movie.

If you have seen the movie, you immediately know the plot line. A man named Phil Connors gets caught reliving the exact same day, which happens to be Groundhogs Day, over and over. It is a simple concept with surprisingly humorous results. I did a little google searching and found that some people believe Phil was living the same day for over eight years. Another site says that for him to have learned to do everything the movie claims, it would have taken over 34 years. Either way that is a long time to be doing the same things over and over.

With that in mind, I am reminded this day every year of the numerous people I know who keep reliving the same issues every day. Their parents only communicated through yelling and arguing, so they speak the same way. Their parents were verbally abusive to them, so they become verbally abusive parents to their children. Their parents lived for God on Sunday only and the rest of the week was faithless. They now live the same way.

There are numerous ways this concept plays out in our lives. Basically, we see a set of behaviors from our parents or guardians, and we repeat them. This action is repeated year after year and then generation after generation. We are not just living the same day over and over, we are living the same lives with the same mistakes over and over.

What if today was not remembered for being just another day where we repeat the same mistakes? What if today was the day we broke the cycle? What if we asked God in prayer to give us guidance to live differently? What if we said, “Today this behavior stops?” What if today we spoke kindly, loved deeply, listened closely and cared genuinely about the people close to us?

It all starts with a decision to live differently.

Let today be the day we start to break the cycle of hurt.

When I first entered the ministry, I had the idea that no one would ever leave a Church where I was the pastor. I would preach inspiring sermons and offer educational teaching. I would be pleasant to be around and would have great advice to offer. I would work to develop Godly leaders and lead inspiring worship programs. With all of this happening, there would never be any reason for people to leave the Church where I was the Pastor.

Then it happened. A couple left the Church to attend another Church. They gave me a reason, and I could see it. We needed to improve that area of our Church. I took it on as a mission to enhance those programs, and that would eliminate it from happening again.

Then it happened again. Another couple left. It didn’t take many years to discover that no matter what I did some people were always leaving the Church, even the one that I lead. In fact, through the years I have discovered that every Church is losing someone. It might be that the guests do not return or that the senior saints drift away.

It happens and here is some of what I have learned.

1.You Can’t Please Everyone. What you think is great worship is not to someone else. What you think is inspiring preaching is shallow to someone else. What your church does each week, someone else does it better.

2. Everyone can find an excuse if they want it. If I attended your Church this Sunday, I could find flaws with it. Some people choose to ignore those flaws, others do not. If I don’t want to be at that Church, I will find a reason

3. Many people do not quit one day, they fade away slowly. Most of the people who leave the Church do it over the course of time. They miss a Sunday here and there. Then they miss a month. Then two months. Finally, they are gone, and people don’t even notice. Drifting happens more than deciding.

4. Church hoppers are true to their nature, and one day they hop away. I had a friend in business who used to tell me that if a customer came in cursing their last place of business then one day they will leave cursing your business. The same is true in Church. Some people are looking for the perfect Church that does not exist.

5. Standing for truth will repel some and attract others. When you take a stand on anything, you will create friends and enemies. Every Church has a long list of people who agree with them, but also those who disagree with them.

6. Matthew 13 is still true. There is a parable in Matthew 13 about a sower and four soils. In this story, a sower spreads seed all over the place. The seed lands in four different locations, and three of those do not produce fruit. 75% of people who hear the message of Jesus will eventually walk away.

7. Evil is still at work in the world. This can take many forms. It can be an unfortunate accident that leaves us with overwhelming questions. It can be sin that drags us away. It can be a sinful decision that allows guilt to smother us. Even the most committed Christians have a weak point.

8. No matter what happens, love and trust people anyway. You never know what will happen to the people you encounter. They may quit. They may also become the next great Church leader who helps to transform the world. You never know. On top of that, each one of us is called to love people no matter where the future takes them. While they are near me, I am called to care even if one day they walk away.

Some days I find myself still dreaming that no one will ever leave my Church again. Then I wake up and come back to reality. People will come, and people will go. I cannot take it personally. I cannot mold everything in the Church to keep them. The Church is called to love people while we can and to keep pointing people the right direction.

This is not a political post. It is a post about Bible interpretation.

At least fourteen times over the last ten days I have had a couple of verses pop up in some way on my Facebook feed. Maybe you have seen it, if not, here it is:

Leviticus 19:33-34 “When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. (34) The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.” (NIV)

Every time I have seen these verses they have been directly applied to how God feels about the refugee and immigration issues going on in America right now. I am not here to write about that situation, it is a post for another time. [By the way, I am reading everything I can about that issue to develop a complete view of what is happening, why it is happening and how Christians should respond.]

What is bothering me now is the huge issue of using these Bible verses for anything. You see there are rules for how we read the Bible and when we ignore those rules we misuse the Bible and can prove almost anything.

First, Leviticus is a part of the Old Testament law given to Israel. Yes, it does lay the groundwork for Christianity, but we live under another covenant with God through Jesus Christ. Christians simply do not live under the law of Moses. It is extremely important to understand this context. Otherwise, we find ourselves living under the whole law.

The full context of these verses is chapter 19 of Leviticus. There are 37 verses in that chapter, and they contain several interesting statements. For example, verse 23-25 say that you are not to gather the harvest of a fruit tree for the first three years. Then in the fourth year, you are to offer the fruit as an offering to the Lord. Another example is found in verse 28 that says we are not to have tattoos. I have read lengthy articles that explained in detail why that passage does not apply to us today.

Second, other questions arise out of good Bible interpretation.

This passage was written to the nation of Israel. Do the passages about Israel apply directly to America? This passage addresses resident aliens in the Israelite community. Is that the same as modern-day refugees? The passages say not to mistreat them. What constitutes mistreatment?

The primary meaning and understanding of this passage are for the people of Israel to treat non-Israelite people living among them as they would a native-born Israelite.

Third, there is a question of application.

The question born out of that understanding of this passage is, “Does it apply today?” Maybe the better question is, “How does that apply to today?”

Personally, I believe this passage does paint us a big picture idea. In the Old Testament God desired for his people to care for those who were outside of their own national background. After that, the application is fuzzy at best.

Here is my point; Leviticus 19 is not a verse that directly applies to America. Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s true.

Is there a concept believers can learn from this passage? Sure. Does that concept have application to believers today? Sort of. Does this passage have application to the US policy on immigration? That is a long, long stretch.

No matter how you feel about the current situation, I beg you, please don’t misuse the Bible to push any agenda. A proper use of scripture is the first step toward unity in the spirit.

Yesterday I turned 45 years old. It is hard for me to imagine that I am this old since I still feel like I am 21. Time flies by as all of us know. I wanted to take a few moments to slow down and do a little reflection on my life and the lessons I have learned.

Last night as I lie on my bed looking up at the ceiling I felt this sense of disappointment. Before I hit the mattress, I had read some articles written by other people who has turned 45. As I read through their material, I felt an overwhelming lack of accomplishment compared to their lists. So I decided to share my reflections as a less than perfect person who just turned 45.

1. I Am Still Unsure About the Present and the Future.
I had hoped that by this point in my life I would feel confident that I was doing exactly what God had called me too. I was sure I would feel secure in where he had called me too. I am still as unclear as I was at 21. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy what I do each day, but I am not sure this is a permanent assignment. I would like to write. I would like to do some mission work. I wouldn’t mind starting another Church. I would love to specialize. All I know is that each day I serve the Lord until he shows me the next step on this journey. This was true at 21, and it is still true for me today.

2. The Voices in My Head Never Stop.
All of us struggle with insecurity at some level. When I was young, I understood that there was an inherited sense of insecurity with my age. Now that I am older I still hear the same voices echoing inside my head. They continually tell me, “I am not smart enough. I am not skilled enough. I have made too many mistakes in the past. Do I really think God could forgive that?” My personal issues have changed, but they exist in various forms still today.

3. The Struggle With Sin Never Goes Away.
As I young man I was convinced that one day I would be smart enough or strong enough to stand up to the sins that lurk around every corner. Sure, I have overcome some things, but temptation still exists for every person, no matter how old.

4. It is Difficult to Continually Reinvent Yourself.
Once upon a time I only worried about myself as an individual. Now, I am a father and a husband. I spent time as a coach, and now I am a fan. Now I am trying to adjust to being a life coach to a college student. One day I will become an in-law and maybe a grandparent. It seems the moment you have your role figured out, something happens and everything changes. It can be a complicated assignment to know how I am supposed to behave in each new role.

5. Trust Verses Worry is a Continual Battle.
I know that God has a plan for my life, but I am scared for my children. I am concerned with their health, their safety, their career, their future and a dozen other things. Even though I have seen God’s hands of guidance in my life through the years, it is still hard to trust him with my children. I had hoped it would get better when they were older, but I actually think it gets worse. There is a constant need to immerse each day in prayer for them and for my trust of God with them.

I don’t know, maybe this article says more about me as a person and a Christian than I should say out loud, but I feel the need to be honest. My life at 45 is not about having everything perfect and gearing up to dominate the last 35 years. My life is about more of the same. Nothing is perfect, and I find that following Jesus is as hard today as it has ever been to me. I hope you will benefit from knowing that you are not alone. I think most people struggle silently and bury their feelings deep inside. Slowly it tears them apart as they feel they are failing as a person. I want you to know that all of us, even pastors, have issues no matter how old we are today.

Thought for today –

Here are the best articles I read this week.

5 Words That Should Scare Your Pastor

Planned Parenthood’s Most Misleading Statistic

Everything I Need to Know About Social Media, I Learned In Kindergarten

Here are a couple interesting articles if you are a sports parent like me. These are not Christian articles but the truth about sports, scholarships and the future you are investing so much time into.

Estimated probability of competing in college athletics

An Open Letter to the Athlete We Must Stop Recruiting

I have the opportunity to listen to a lot of worship music as I plan the weekly program for our Church. These are some of my favorites that are fairly new, at least new to me, and maybe they are new to you as well.

1. Jesus I Need You – Hillsong Worship

2. What A Beautiful Name – Hillsong Worship

3. Behold (Then Sings My Soul) – Hillsong Worship

4. No Other Name – Hillsong Worship

5. Heart Like Heaven – Hillsong Worship

I continually warn my elders that a train wreck is coming. Sure, everything in the Church is going well right now, but it won’t last. Someone is going to get upset. They always do. It has happened in every ministry I have led.

The situation is usually the same. Someone is unhappy because they felt like they were ignored or marginalized or even mistreated. It is almost always the same story, they felt like I didn’t care about them in some way.

Upon careful investigation, I usually discover that people thought I would pick up on their needs on my own. I am here today to tell you that I don’t. I believe that this is true for most pastors that I know. I have a lot of interactions every day of the week and especially on Sunday. As a result, I will not pick up your subtle phrases or implied information. I do not get hints and innuendo.

I like to think it is because I am busy on the weekend and I am distracted, but honestly, I know sometimes I am just clueless. Whatever the reason, do not expect me to read your mind or pick up on anything that is not directly stated.

On behalf of pastors everywhere, let me say it this way.

1. If you want a visit, just say.
Seriously. If you want to talk to me or ask me questions or are just feeling lonely. Ask me to visit. I have never turned anyone down.

2. If you want prayer, just ask.
Tell me what you want me to pray for, and I will do it. I will usually inform you that I will pray for it for a period of time. Something like, “Yes I will pray for the situation every day this next week.” Currently, I have three marriages I am praying for until they are healed, just because people asked me too.

3. If you have a problem, just tell.
If I have done something to offend you in some way, then be direct and tell me the problem. Don’t talk about it with other Church members and make guesses at my motives. Tell me the truth, and I bet you will be surprised at the answer.

4. If you are hurt, just share.
If someone or something has hurt you, don’t expect me to know. Tell me, and we can try to get to the heart of matter. I may not have heard about your family member who passed. I may not know about what happened in your small group. I may not know anything. Tell me, and I can do my best to help.

5. If you need help, just be honest.
This is a huge one for me. Don’t hint around about tight finances or falling behind. Just ask if the Church can help you financially in some way. I guarantee I will not read your open-ended statements as a plea for help.

No pastor can read your mind. We do not have as much information as you think we do. The best way to communicate with us is direct. It is just that simple.

I want to avoid any conflict in the future, and most people in the Church want the same thing. The only way it is going to happen is if we speak openly and honestly with each other, even the pastor.