There has been an ongoing conversation in our house about motivation. It seems that there are two ways that people try to motivate others toward action. The first and most often used are negative instructions. I simply mean that you try to motivate someone to better action by pointing out their faulty action. This is the motivation I see used the most in sports. An athlete does not do something correctly then the coach yells at the player to do the right thing. This motivation can go several directions from yelling and scolding to punishment or it can be the withholding of benefits and praise or even removal from the game.

The other type of motivation comes from positive reinforcement. In this model you catch the person doing something well and praise their work. The idea is that they will feel the joy of praise and pride will swell or maybe there is even a reward. Then the next time the action comes up they will do the right thing again to regain that feeling or prize. I also see this motivation in sports quite often. Awards are continually given to the best player of the game or of the week or of the month or of the season.

None of this is new information but my discussion with my family has led me to several thoughts that all of us need to explore.

1. What motivate you the most? Are you more influenced by positive or negative reinforcement?

2. What motivates those I care about? Is your child or spouse more influenced by negative or positive reinforcement? We have discovered that my children are motivated by positive reinforcement. Criticize them and they will break down and sometimes give up. Praise them and they will run through walls. This has huge ramifications for all your relationships.

3. How do you try to motivate others? I think this question has huge implications for the Church. If we are called as believers to spur one another on toward love and good works (Hebrews 10:24), then how are we going to do that? How have we been trying to do that with others? Positively or negatively? Is it working?

4. How has the motivation of others affected you? I have wondered how many relationships have been damaged by improper motivation. Someone said something negative – thinking they were being helpful and motivating you – and it was taken wrong. It could have been your parents, your siblings, your spouse, a great friend or a church member who said it but your life was altered by their words. Honestly, depending on who it was, this may have been the biggest factor in your answers to 1-3.

There is enormous power in the words we use. I think as Christians we need to be very careful about the words we use. They can hold the power of life and positive action or the power of death and defeat.

I hope this post motivates your thinking.

I have a heart for evangelism. I love to see people accept Jesus as their Savior and Lord. I honestly think that most Christians enjoy it too. In fact, I believe that most Christians want to share their faith. They simply find themselves scared about doing it for fear of inadequacy in knowledge. Not only do they find it hard to share their faith, but they often do not know who to share it with. So let me give you some simple actions you can do that will have an impact for eternity and help lead people to Jesus.

1. Pray for the weekend service and sermon. I firmly believe that prayer is the greatest thing you can do to help the Church reach out with the gospel.

2. Arrive at Church early. This will give you time to talk, meet people and show you are excited about worship.

3. Park far away from the door. Save the very best parking spots for guests.

4. Talk to people you do not know. Personally commit to talking to at least 3 families or individuals you do not know. Ask questions about them (not personal questions) and then listen for their response without interrupting. Take a genuine interest in others.

5. Sit near the front and in the worst seats in the auditorium. Save the best seats for the guests at Church each week. Save the seats at the back till last. Sit close together so there are plenty of seats for guests who arrive later.

6. Volunteer to help. This can be done formally in the nursery, children’s program or as a greeter. It can also be done informally. As you talk to guests help them to know where the children’s programs, bathrooms and worship area are located. Personally tell them and take them where they need to go.

7. Give financially. The Church needs your financial gifts to keep reaching out. For example; we have given away 3 boxes of older bibles to the food pantry and replaced them with new Bibles. This has helped to streamline the Bible reading in the program. It has also given us the opportunity to give away 9 new Bibles to people the last two weeks. Maybe someone will read the Bible for the first time. Great – But the Bibles cost $150 a box. Your gifts help make that happen.

8. Talk to more people after service. I know of a growing Church that tells their people to talk only to strangers for the first 5 minutes after worship. Our tendency is to try and catch-up with people and forget that a guest might want to know more about the Church after a worship service.

9. Invite guests to lunch. Use your lunch on Sunday (even once a month) as a tool for God. Invite people to lunch and tell them you will pay. Even if they do not go with you, they will appreciate the invitation.

10. Speak well of your Church family. When you speak to people about the Church, be sure and tell all the goods things you like about the Church and the people who attend there. Every time you speak ill of someone you are basically saying, “You do not want to be a part of this Church.”

These are simple things you can do to help the Church spread the message of Jesus. I like how one person said it, “Church is a team sport.” Great worship or a powerful sermon will not grow the Church if the people are not “guest friendly.” The gospel is spread when the Church works together to share Jesus is very visible and in very unnoticed ways. I will be ready for a great service this weekend, but I need your help to really make an impact.

An idea had been swirling around my head for a few years now.  Here is the idea.  Most of us have a cheap substitute for true forgiveness.  This substitute is called “understanding.”

I first thought of this when listening to a Christian.  They were describing some sin that another Christian had committed.  Then they said, “I just don’t understand how they could do that!”  This person was right, it was hard to understand how someone could do this despicable action.  My question is “does God call us to understand everything?”

Here is what I know about Christians.  We are called to forgive one another even if we do not or cannot understand why this bad thing happened.  True forgiveness looks at an incident and says “I will never understand how you could hurt me like that, but I know that God wants me to forgive you.  So I will.”

This is where gossip becomes so deceitful.  We think, “If I just tell people the rest of the story then they will understand.”  We spread rumors and gossip in an effort to “help people out.” The reality is that God does not want us to attempt to understand everything in the world.  He wants us to forgive the evil as he has forgiven us.

So the question for you is this:  “Are you offering people forgiveness or are you trying to understand their behavior?”  There is a world of difference.

If you do not read “This is Indexed” you should because of pictures like this –

The theme for our DIVE children’s ministry this month is creativity and the image for the series is a blank slate. It made me think of this blog that I write. Everyday I sit down to write I am greeted with a blank area to fill in with the words on my mind. I am somewhat prepared for it each day as I keep a file with blog ideas. I now have roughly 38 ideas in my file bank that I can draw upon, but often I just go with what is in my head at the time.

The great part of the blank page is that sometimes we can create something powerful. I receive emails and comments and people are talking about a post weeks later. The difficult part of the blank page is that sometimes we create something way less than powerful. I am amazed to see how some of my posts get over 100 hits and others only 15. Honestly, I want them all to be powerful but that never seems to happen. So what do I do? I just keep writing to the best of ability. I try to fill the page with what God is lying on my heart or what I have noticed in scripture and in life. I continually ask God to fill my blank page with something of value.

That makes me think about life. Each day we are given 1440 blank minutes to use. Each year we are given 525949 minutes. In a 70 year lifetime we are given 36,816,430 minutes. All of them are blank and we can choose what we do with them. Most of us have the information to do do the right thing. We have the potential to do something great. So my continual encouragement to people is simple: Make that call, send that letter or email, say those words you need to say, offer up that prayer, read, linger long with other people, love, think, write and do whatever needs to be done today. Not every action will be received well and some things will simply be ignored. That’s okay. The people with the greatest impact in this world do not succeed in every action. Their success is found in the fact that they just keep acting. The result of a lifetime of trying to do good will be a life well lived and in the process there will be days no one will ever forget. May today be one of those days.

Years ago I read this quote, “The devil does not need an advocate. People need encouragement and not critics” by business thinker Seth Godin on his blog.

Every time I get into a negative place in my thinking about other people I have to remind me of this truth.

They Bible has a lot to say about encouraging and nothing about criticism.

Which will I chose today? How about you?

This week I have blogged about the Pastor’s wife and the Pastor’s kids, so my final post in this vein will answer, “What’s it like to be a pastor?” Well, I can only answer that question for myself but most pastors and preachers that I speak with usually share similar ideas.

1. I feel really inadequate. Sure I grew up in the Church, went to Bible College and I am in the Bible reading and studying 6 days a week – but I am talking about GOD. That is huge. Does anyone ever feel like they have all the answers and have explored this topic completely. Okay, maybe in my 20’s I thought I had everything figured out but who doesn’t at that age? We worship an all-powerful, all-knowing God who can do anything He wants at any time. I am a small speck on the planet and I usually feel the weight of that when I speak and teach.

2. I struggle with Christians. I wish this one were not true. In fact, I thought that people in the Church would be these Christlike people who loved and were filled with joy all the time. Unfortunately all of us are being transformed into Christlikeness and there is a lot of ugliness that can come along the way. I really think the problem comes down to the fact that in the Church we expect better actions but it just doesn’t always happen. I struggle with the hypocrisy, back stabbing, annoying and difficult people as much as you do. I live with the reality that people can feel the same way about me.

3. I feel incredibly lonely most of the time. This might shock you, but I have heard it from preachers time and time again and I have felt it deeply myself. Lots of people talk to me, but most people want to talk about themselves and share their struggles. I am glad to listen to them and pray for their situation but that is not how a friendship works. A friendship is a give and take thing. You speak and you listen. The times I have opened up, my wife and kids too, it has frequently come back to bite us later. We open our hearts up about a struggle, sin or feelings about others and later that info is made public to hurt and humiliate us. Real relationships take years to form and it can be a lonely time until those are established.

4. I get tired of preaching. I love to preach. I love seeing people understand something new. I love seeing the light come on as an idea finally clicks in their head. With that said, the last 6 years I have preached 49-51 times a year and it can be draining. It is hard to come up with creative, educational and entertaining messages every week. Vacations are wonderful but short-lived because Sunday is always coming.

5. I do not know what to do with personal praise. I am glad that people like my sermons and hopefully are learning from them. I am glad they tell me the impact they are feeling, but I honestly do not know how to feel about it. I simply want two things in my ministry: Peoples lives transformed by obedience to the gospel. People to give glory to God.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved to be encouraged, but I am never exactly sure how to feel about it.

I know that all of these observation start with the word, “I” and it feels self-indulgent and self-serving. I hope it does not come off that way. I just want you to know part of this pastor’s soul and possibly every pastor you know. Maybe it will help you to relate to this unique group of Church leaders in a new way. Maybe it will help the Church be a place where love and grace flow to all – even Pastors.

[Again. NO comments will be posted]

I cannot imagine what it must be like to be a pastor’s kid. I watch it from a close proximity but am still not sure what it is like. Some days my children do well with it and other days it is a struggle. They have the challenges of any normal teenager or pre-teen boy. Their life if different because they live in this fishbowl of Church leadership. Everyone knows their name, they see their actions and they hear the rumors about everything they do. I am sure it must be hard to live under the watchful eye of everyone while still trying to be a normal young man. I think my boys have handled it with grace and dignity, at least as far as I know:-)

While I know their life is not perfect I have noticed a few things that have been a blessing to our wacky life.

1. Accountability is not an option. When you live in a fishbowl you know everyone is watching. While this is a difficulty to some it is also a strange blessing. My boys know that their life and choices affect more people than just themselves. How would life be different if every young person understood the impact of their choices?

2. Ministry is expected. In the early days my boys got up with me at 5:00 am to help set up for our new Church in Iowa. Today they still help with setting up or tearing down for various events, they help with worship and are a part of almost everything going on at Church. They know they following Jesus means serving Him and not sitting in a chair doing nothing.

3. All people are valuable. My boys have been able to spend time with everyone from little kids to senior adults. They have spent time with those people who have special needs and those who are just … well … special. They have sat in with people of all ages, all types and all backgrounds. I love watching my boys interact with any age group at any time.

4. The enormous need for grace. My boys have seen some people at their best but they have also seen them at their worst. They have heard my horror stories of failures and disgrace. In those situations they have heard me speak of grace, pray for grace and celebrate grace. I hope it is burned in their mind that all of us need the grace of God offered through the cross. All of us.

I don’t know if any of this helps you with your parenting or grand parenting but these are the lessons in my life. I know my boys are not perfect and I do not expect them to be. I know their life can be hard and not much fun, but I am okay with that. My hope and prayer for my kids – and for your kids – is that they grow up to Christ following adults who will spend eternity with me in heaven.

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My wife did not ask me to write this, in fact she will be mad at me because I did. But I accept that fact as I write these words because they need to be said. I was looking at my calendar and next month is Pastor Appreciation month. It is a month I feel incredibly awkward about personally. I kind of feel like weird uncle Larry who gets invited to the party not because anybody wants him there but because he is family and we have to invite him. I also feel strange about it because I get paid to be a pastor. God has blessed me richly with a weekly paycheck to do what I do. So I want to turn the tables for a minute and focus on the greatest volunteer I know in the Church – the Pastor’s wife.

From the outside it looks to be the most incredibly intense volunteer position in the Church. She is an intricate part of my ministry just by being married to me. She didn’t ask for this position, she didn’t apply for the job, she just inherited it by choosing to marry me. As a result of that one poor choice she wrapped herself up in the ministry of the Church deeper than anyone I have ever encountered. She loves and teaches other people’s kids. She tells me I had a good sermon, even when I know it was awful. She learned to play guitar just to help my ministry as a worship leader. She makes sure my children are involved in ministry. She encourages other people every chance she gets. She invites numerous people to Church. She spends her free time listening to me talk about Church and ministry. Her vacations have have often included church conferences or visiting a large Church “to see what they are doing.” She has shared her husband on a thousand nights with strangers whose lives are falling apart. She has never missed a Sunday because she was sick. She has followed me across the country in 6 different ministries. She volunteers hundreds of hours that no one ever sees. She leads, organizes, copies and cleans. I literally could spend page after page telling you of all the wonderful things she does.

On the flip side, for me it appears to be the most inglorious and thankless job on the planet. I have seen her endure things no one else has ever had to endure. I have watched her service go unnoticed and unappreciated for years. I have heard people criticize her without caring how she felt. I have seen her heart get ripped out as people devalued her friendship. I have wept for her as her dreams go unrealized. I have seen the hurt of a thousand disappointments. I have held her when she felt all alone though surrounded by people. Once again I could tell you pages of stories about the pain, heartache and misery she has endured just by being a Pastor’s wife.

I write all of this because I do not need your appreciation. I am called by God into this thing called ministry and Churches have been wonderful enough to pay me. My wife is a volunteer and she did not ask for her position but I thank God daily that I have her by my side. I appreciate and love her and I cannot thank God enough for her. I am sure that every minister feels the same.

[*No comments will be accepted]

Last Saturday I had two polar opposite experiences. I went to a conference at Ozark Christian College where I graduated in 1995. I haven’t been back to the campus since 2000. There have been a number of changes in the last 14 years. The chapel has had dramatic overhaul of the stage, carpet, seating and entryway. The I walked over to the building that used to be the book store and administration building. Now it is a really nice student center and a brand new bookstore. I could spend a lot of time writing about all the positive changes I saw on the campus and I only saw a few buildings.

After the conference my wife and I drove back toward Adrian and we took a little detour to where we lived right after we were married. In 1995 the two of us made our home in a little community where I had my first “full-time” preaching ministry. The Church put us up in an older house that a lady in the Church owned but she was now living in a nursing home. We arrived in the town and drove by the old Church building that looked about the same. Then we made a left and a right and there sat the old home. I am not exaggerating when I say that it has turned into a dump. The house has not been painted in 20 years, many of the windows were boarded up and there was junk all over the lawn. One window was crammed full of stuff like stuffed animals so someone must be living there. It appears no improvements have been made since the days we lived in it. As a result, it was now a house that should be condemned.

On one hand I saw a place that was changing and improving every year. On the other hand I saw a place that was unchanged and was deteriorating with every year. It was the fitting end to a day when I had visited the college for a conference on making changes in the local Church. We either change for the better or we deteriorate for the worse. Nothing stays the same – not colleges, houses, Churches or even people. My hope for my ministry is that I would be an influence for positive change wherever I go. I hope in 20 years I will not revisit a Church I have led and see a dump instead of place of discipleship.