This person told me a story of seeing an item in a store that reminded them of me.  They looked at it and said how they thought about buying it but then talked themselves out of it.  Their final statement was, “It’s the thought that counts.”

I have heard that expression since I was a child.  Someone had a good idea and then didn’t follow through, and they say, “Well, it’s the thought that counts.”

Today I want to lay alongside that another phrase: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” 

Having good thoughts and intentions does not count for anything.  Just because you thought about doing something good, you do not get any credit for it. Likewise, feeling like you need to do something good and then not acting is worthless.  Your good intentions, positive thoughts, and feelings of “someone should do something” are of no help.

What counts are words like; Service, Love, Do, Give, Help, Share, and Action.  These are the words that count for something.

Saying to someone, “It’s the thought that counts,” might make us feel better in the moment.  Unfortunately, it is a lie, and it is an easy way to fool ourselves into thinking we are living the Christian life when we are walking a different road. 

One struggle for anyone in the Church and especially those involved in ministry is to keep from becoming calloused and hard-hearted. 

Almost every day, I have people lie to me.  Weekly, I deal with some type of ugliness from someone who calls themselves a believer.  Regularly, I encounter people with a profound lack of faith in positions of influence.  I have met people who abuse the systems for their laziness or addiction.  The list of things that make me shake my head is long and painful. 

So how does someone keep their heart from becoming hard and their words from being jaded?  The typical answer I see across the internet is, “draw close to God through Jesus.” There is much wisdom in this thinking as God is the one who transforms us from the inside out through the power of his Holy Spirit.  Spending time in prayer and reading your Bible are two ways to keep from a hardening of the soul. 

I would also add one more item to that suggestion.  Draw close to Jesus through his body.  One of the beautiful blessings of being a part of the local Church is that I also get to see people at their best too. 

This past week we hosted a Vacation Bible School at our Church for ages four years old through eighth grade.  We had well over a hundred and twenty kids and over fifty volunteers who helped pull everything together.  Each night, I take responsibility for the trash and any odd jobs that occur.  This allows me to walk around and talk to people, watch our volunteers, and observe the children. 

Weeks like this soften my heart.  I watched teenage young adults help children with projects and learn the lessons.  With that – another callous falls off.  I saw kindergarteners excited to learn the Bible each night.  And another area begins to soften.  I spent time with senior adults helping children have a snack, and the workers get fed.  I saw the smiles of Jr. High students as they made gifts for the local police.  Every night I saw something that transformed me and my view of people.

If you are not part of a Church, I hope you will pray and read.  You need to draw close to Jesus somehow, but I am not sure you will ever be as close to him as when you are watching his body of believers show his love to others. 

Sure this week was exhausting.  It is always that way.  But it was also fulfilling.  It is always that way too. 

Recently a person I know was challenged by a family member to run in a long-distance race. His first response was to purchase an expensive pair of special shoes for runners. He had not run his first step, and he has the nicest shoes on the market for his race.

By contrast, I was out walking at the local high school track, and a lady arrived who was also walking. She was wearing the cheapest flip-flops for shoes as she tried to walk fast around the oval. Flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop all the way around. All I could think was how hard that must be on her feet, ankles, and knees. She was walking and had the worst shoes for walking.

I think the goal should be somewhere in the middle. Get decent shoes and start working from there. Walk a lap, then a few, add a few more until you start running. Start with something adequate and work your way up to the nicer tools.

This type of thinking is played out when people come to faith. Some people feel like they need the best app they can purchase, the most expensive Bible software, and an oversized fancy leather Bible while they never read a page. Other people are trying to read an old Gideons King James New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs. There is not a lack of effort on their part, but they struggle to grow because they have inadequate tools.

If you want to grow in your faith, you need a simple free Bible app like the “You Version Bible.” You might also want to get a paper Bible in either ESV or NIV without expensive binding or extensive footnotes. A paper Bible and a Bible app will get you started. All you must do is start using them. Read page by page and book by book until you become fluent in the scriptures. Then you can expand your toolbox.

With a couple of tools in your possession, you are ready to start. So get started and see what God is saying to you today.

Have you ever met someone who had a dream you knew was unattainable?  They pictured themselves as sports stars or singers who would one day be rich and famous.  They aspired to write, and their concepts and words were not enjoyable.  They wanted to be something they were not gifted to become. 

Everyone else knew it, but they didn’t know it yet. 

Meanwhile, you sat back and waited for the day to come when they realized it.  You knew there would come a day when their eyes would be opened, and the truth would become apparent.  Until then, there would be an endless string of disappointments. 

Self-awareness is difficult. 

We tend to see ourselves with a distorted lens.  Like a funhouse mirror, our image looks different from what exists. 

One challenge for a follower of Jesus is to see both Jesus and ourselves accurately.  We need to be clear about our flaws and shortcomings along with our giftedness.  It takes an honest self-understanding to improve as a believer and servant of Jesus. 

Everyone shoots each other unbelieving looks when certain people take the stage.  They see what this person cannot see in themselves.  You don’t want that to happen when you tell people about your faith. 

I have never been a fan of using quotes. Friends in ministry love to place quotes in their writing, sermons, speeches, and blogs.  Still, others share an endless supply of them on social media from every book they read and sermon they hear. They are only valuable for me when I know the source, the context, and the story behind them.

Sometimes people have tried to use quotes to teach me.  There was the professor who continually said, “People don’t care what you know till they know that you care.” A lady I know likes to remind people, “Preach everywhere you go, if necessary, use words.” The list is long of all the statements people have made about faith regularly to me and others. 

My caution is simple.  Make sure they align with scripture.  That quote that you love may be great, but it might not be Biblical. 

Let me take my professor’s quote, for instance.  Jesus went from town-to-town preaching. I know he healed people and showed compassion to them.  But he also preached the truth.  Some came to hear him simply for that fact.  The Apostle Paul would stop in a town and immediately start teaching about Jesus.  He spoke the truth of the resurrection, and lives were changed before he even knew the people.  The problem with the quote is it creates a false dichotomy.  You do not have to choose between caring and teaching.  As a believer, we are called to do both.

Quotes can be great.  But make sure they are not ever equal to the Bible in your mind.  Then take them and run them through a grid of sound teaching of scripture to make sure they align. 

It is okay to enjoy a quote because it underlines the truth. But, never allow it to replace your Bible.  And never allow it to let you avoid the acts of righteousness we are called to do.  Never, ever let it become a way to fuel your selfish agenda above God’s.   

The book by Gary Chapman called “The Five Languages” was revolutionary for marriages across the globe. People began to recognize how they wanted to receive love and how their spouse might be different than them. I have seen this concept change couples’ interactions and feelings toward one another in significant ways.

Unfortunately, the ideas presented in the book have not made it beyond the boundaries of marriage for many people. I recognized this recently when a person I know was accused of being unloving. I know for a fact that this person is a genuinely caring person. However, the more I probed the situation, the more apparent the definition of “caring” was being called into question.

The accused person views love through the lens of service and serving. They feel love when someone does some type of work that blesses them. This then translates into them prioritizing physical ministry for others above all else. For example, imagine you are feeling bad about some of the things going on in your life. This person will show up and mow your grass, clean your house, or watch your children.

The recipient of these gestures receives love through words of affirmation. What they wanted was someone to come and sit on the couch, sip coffee, and say nice things. They long for conversation and the time to connect.

You can see where this is heading. One Church member complains that another Church member is calloused and uncaring when nothing could be further from the truth. They are both just speaking different languages when it comes to caring. Neither one is correct in their definition, and at the same time, they both are right.

One challenge for the Christian community is understanding how we receive love and concern and how other people are trying to deliver it. That person you think is cold or unfeeling is probably trying to express themselves in a way you do not notice or feel.

My love for people may look different than the way yours looks. However, I care about people, and I express myself in my unique way. True community is found when we accept and embrace that fact with each other.

You meet someone of the opposite sex.  You like how they look, you like their personality, and you think you can get along, so you decide to get married. 

What you don’t know at the time is that you are marrying more than your initial experience.  You are going to get their family of origin issues.  You are going to get the baggage left over from their parents’ successes and failures.  Their childhood trauma will come to the surface in ways you never expected, and at times you cannot predict.  The choices they made as teenagers will haunt their minds, along with the hurtful comments of their peers.  There is an entire life before the age of 21 that shaped their heart and mind. 

Then there is the addition of their adult issues.  Their communication skills that have developed to protect themselves.  How they react to pressure at work will spill over into your home.  Their love languages will shape their interactions with you and their expectations from you. 

The list of complications you will face could go on and on.

One reason marriage is so complex is because you are committing to spend time with a whole person.  Their past life and present reality and their future dreams are all dumped in your lap as a spouse.  You no longer get just the good parts that you see on dates and at special events.  You get EVERYTHING. 

The flip side of this issue is also true.  One of the reasons marriage is hard for your spouse is because they are getting the whole you.  They are trying to understand your past, help you in the present so that you can have a future together. 

My simple encouragement for married couples is that every time your spouse gets under your skin, remember that you are not easy to live with either.  But if you stick together, your time as husband and wife will be more than your time as a single person.  Every new year your lives will be the product of your current interactions and not the distant past.  You will form new patterns together, and the two will start to become one. 

People love significant events.  We travel miles and pay large sums of money to attend conferences, conventions, seminars, and large gatherings.  In addition, mission trips, weeklong camps, and retreats are sure to inspire us.   They offer encouragement, and we expect great things to happen. 

Sometimes this is true.  These activities move people and grow their faith. 

In my experience, the times I have grown the most have been the seemingly insignificant moments.  Those times when a professor stopped to talk to me as a regular person and not a student.  The occasions when someone shared their heart with me about what God is doing in their life.  There are also those hours when God used one random conversation with a friend to make my thinking come clear.  That is not to mention all the little texts or emails that have brought me joy, encouragement, and enlightenment. 

Each day you never know the amount of good you will do for God in those moments that seem so normal and insignificant.  A kind word, a smile, a friendly text, taking the time to listen, sharing your story, and opening your life to another person may do far more to help others than you ever imagined. 

Sure, put one big item on your calendar each year, but please remember that God is working every day in the little things. 

The New Testament gives us four different writers sharing their perspectives on the life and ministry of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit. 

That concept alone raises questions in my mind.  Why not one? Shouldn’t every story be precisely the same?  Why are some stories found in one account and not in another? 

I think that God, in His infinite wisdom, knew that we need to hear the story of Jesus over and over again.  Not just having it repeated to us but shared from different perspectives. We need to listen to the words of eyewitnesses as first-hand experiences (Matthew & John).  We also need the cumulative story as gathered by a researcher (Luke). Finally, there needs to be uniform accounts along with something completely different (John).  Each person’s perspective shines a little bit of new light on Jesus and opens our eyes to something we might have missed.  Therefore it is essential to read all the gospels in detail.  You cannot give a casual glance over one of them and think you know Jesus. 

I write this because I encounter numerous people who have created a Jesus of their own imagination.  They know some of his stories and teachings while being oblivious to others.  My personal conversations and online exchanges reveal that they know just enough to be partially correct but only partially. 

Here are some areas to test to see if you have created a Jesus of your imagination.  If your Jesus is always a nice guy who likes the things you like and hates the same things you hate.  He is full of love for people who think like you do and have similar viewpoints.  He never says anything you disagree with or causes you to change your ways.  Your encounters with him always make you happy and fill you with self-love.  Your Jesus never judges sin, pushes you toward holiness, or questions your life choices.  He is not connected to any community, and neither are you.  Finally, his only message is not to judge so that we can love our neighbor. 

The Jesus of the Bible is difficult.  He challenges us.  He forces us to rethink our positions, change our lifestyles and bring everything under his lordship.  The Jesus found in the gospel accounts is not easy to know, understand or follow.  His ways are not our ways, and it takes a lifetime to surrender to his leadership. 

I really want people to know Jesus, including you. But, I also want to make sure you follow the one revealed on the pages of scripture and not the one you have created in your own image. 

Toby Keith released a song in 2001 entitled “I Wanna Talk About Me.” The chorus states boldly,

“I wanna talk about me, wanna talk about I

Wanna talk about number one, oh my me my

What I think, what I like, what I know

What I want, what I see

I like talking about you, you, you, you usually

But occasionally

I wanna talk about me (me, me, me, me)

I wanna talk about me (me, me)”

Most people listened to the song with a smile because we all know someone (or more than one) who loves to talk about themselves.  If you don’t know anyone like that, then there is a good chance it is you.  Some of us are obsessed with talking about ourselves.

We meet them at the store, and they talk about all their issues.  They come to Church and talk and talk and talk about what they need to be prayed for this week.  At work, you avoid them because you know they will not allow you to get your job done while spending unlimited time on their issues.  I once had a lady say she needed to come to my office to talk.  Right behind her sits a clock on my shelf that I use when counseling.  She spoke for 57 minutes straight, and I never said a single word.  It was almost an hour of every issue in her life. 

Think about your last five to ten conversations.  Honestly, what was the focus of your time talking?  Would the other person agree with you if I contacted them? 

One challenge of a follower of Jesus is put elevate the needs of others.  We are to love our neighbors, submit to one another and encourage each other.  Sometimes one of the sacrifices we need to make to follow Jesus is to shut our mouths and listen more than we talk.  When we do speak, then we ask other people about their issues and struggles. 

I know that in your mind, you think, “But I want to talk about me.” The reality is that to follow Jesus; you need more of him and others – even in your conversations.