Here are a few posts worth reading if you get stuck inside by the rain this holiday weekend.
Seven Things Church Members Should Say to Guests in a Worship Service
16 Secrets of One Happy Marriage
How to Poison Your Marriage in 3 Easy Steps
5 Ways Porn Ruins Relationships
* BONUS – We will doing a sermon series over this book and concept in the fall –
Finding Your Way Back to God
Picture three boys in a store like Wal-mart. They appear unsupervised and they are playing rough with each other. The poke and push and one of them grabs a foam rope and throws it around the neck of one of the other boys. He acts for a couple of seconds like he is choking the other boy. They push each other away and grab at each other in one of the aisles.
You see this scene unfold. Now, what conclusions can you draw? What judgement would you make about those boys and their family?
I tell you this story because it happened to me. My boys were rough housing around the back of the store while I stepped into the restroom. A lady worker saw them and yelled at them. She then got another worker to help keep an eye on them. Together they followed the boys through the store and out the door.
Her judgement appeared to be that these boys were teenage hooligans. Probably from broken homes. They had no respect for themselves or others. High risk of breaking something or stealing something. She saw the boys and quickly made a judgement about their character. I watched most of it unfold with curiosity seeing what would transpire between my boys and her. Eventually my boys stopped and waved at her nicely as they exited and she charged to the door in anger. Her judgement on these boys was clear.
Now – Let me give you the whole story. Me and my three oldest boys went to Indiana to spend time with my parents and help do some project for them since my dad had his stroke. We traveled on Monday and just did some visiting and planning. Tuesday we helped my dad clean his boat, pack it and get all his gear ready. We eventually took mom and dad fishing and got them out to do something they could not do on their own. On Wed. we woke up to help my sweet 80-year-old parents do a long list of chores. The boys worked in the garden, mowed, spread mulch and a few other miscellaneous things. It was starting to sprinkle a little rain and we ran to town to buy them some groceries and stopped at a store called Big R to get some tomato plants. A couple of their plants had died and needed replacing. These boys stood outside in the cold helping me get the plants and load them up. Finally, I said I needed to go to the bathroom. They followed me in to warm up and started rough housing.
The reality. These were three Christian boys who were helping their grandparents out for three days. They were being supervised and knew right from wrong. Plus, I know they would never actually hurt their brother – or anyone else for that matter.
I watched this and thought about her snap judgment of my boys.
Then I thought about my snap judgement of her. I assume she was a bitter, lonely old lady who hated her job and desperately needed Jesus. Was I right? I will never know for sure, but I bet I am not.
The truth is that all of us make quick judgments about people we do not know. Unfortunately, many times we are very wrong. The girl with the dyed hair, they guy with the tattoos, the lady with the rowdy kids, the older man with the scooter and a host of others may not be who I think they are. Be careful about judging anyone, but especially be careful about character judgments. People are not always as they appear.
There are several phrases in the Bible that I have never really taught. I think about them often but rarely fit them into a sermon or a lesson. One such passage is from the book of 2 Timothy.
2 Timothy 4:5 (NIV) But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.
I have preached about the role of an evangelist. I have taught lessons on how Church leadership is not to do all the ministry but hand off their work to gifted members. But I have never spoke about my favorite phrase in the passage, “Keep your head in all situations.” The notes to the Life Application Bible says it means, “To keep cool when you are jarred and jolted by people or circumstances.”
A Christian, especially a Church leader, is supposed to keep his head in all situations. A Christian is to be calm under pressure. When things go wrong they are level-headed and make good decisions. When things are going well they remain grounded in their faith. It doesn’t mean they have no emotions, rather they do not let their emotions rule their words and actions.
As a believer, right now life might be throwing you all kinds of curves, but you keep our head in all situations.
Yesterday afternoon my brother and I, along with three of my sons loaded up my parents and went fishing. We brought home a few fish to fry tonight and one of my sons caught a nice catfish. Compared to many of my fishing trips with my parents it was not our best outing. But yesterday was different because it was not really about catching that many fish. It was about getting my folks out and spending time with my family.
A few Years ago country singer Trace Adkins had a song entitled “Just Fishin'” about a day fishing with his daughter. The chorus says –
And she thinks we’re just fishin’ on the riverside
Throwin’ back what we could fry
Drownin’ worms and killin’ time
Nothin’ too ambitious
She ain’t even thinkin’ ‘bout
What’s really goin’ on right now
But I guarantee this memory’s a big’in
And she thinks we’re just fishin’
These experiences have me thinking about Jesus. How much of his time with his 12 disciples was spent doing average things? Sure he did miracles and delivered sermons but he was also with them on the seashore, walking through fields and attending weddings. I don’t think this was by accident but rather a time to learn and grow in a very normal setting.
For me the applications are numerous:
-Connecting to other people is most often done in the everyday events of life, not organized small groups.
-Teaching people about the Lord should not be confined to a Church building. It is also done in the everyday events.
-Much of what we teach (or learn) is caught from what we see and not taught in a lecture.
-Lasting memories are most often not “big events” but simple experiences.
I enjoyed my day yesterday and it will be a lasting memory for me. I hope my parents remember it and I hope my kids saw about how much I care about my parents. For me, it was more than just fishing.
I hope you have something that you do in life that is more than just …
A miracle is defined as something that happens defying the natural process of events by some outside force, usually God. This idea is easy to understand in big instances. A person is healed of a disease, a person regains health after all seemed lost or the Biblical stories of the dead rising.
Lately though I am coming to redefine my idea of miracles. I am no longer thinking of them just in grandiose ways, but even in small ways. There are times that God seems to break in and touch our world in small somewhat insignificant ways. This can happen in thousands of ways – A sermon is delivered about the exact topic you are struggling with, a person’s opens their heart to change after years of rejection or maybe friend does just the right thing to help you make it through another day.
What if miracles come in other ways? They might even come in smaller and smaller ways – a parking spot opens up when you are in a hurry, you unexpectedly find something that you really need on sale or kind word changes the direction of your day.
I once heard a preacher say that trying to see the hand of God in this world is like looking through stained glass. You can only see through it if you strain your eyes and look really, really close.
The hand of God may be all around us, all we have to do is look closely.
Several people believe their life is defined by their biggest failure. They believe they are labeled forever as “Adulterer” or “Criminal” or “Addict.” For them most days are filled with shame and guilt.
Other people believe their life is defined by the opportunities they missed. They believe they are labeled forever as “Failure” or “Outsider.” For them most days are filled with longing and regret.
One group of people believe their life is defined by the best moment. They believe they are “the Champion” or the “Hero.” For them most days are good and any hurt is hidden deep inside.
Another group believes their life is defined by what other people think of them. They might be the Hero to some and the Failure to others. For them some days are good and other days are bad. Life is an emotional roller coaster swayed by public opinion.
There is one more option. That is to be defined by what God says about us. There is good news for those of us who find ourselves in one of the categories above and are not happy about it. God can forgive us and make us his children. He labels us a “Loved” or as “His Children” or simply “Forgiven.”
How you feel about your life may depend on who or what you let define you. The difference is huge, but it is up to you.
Here in Adrian Missouri tomorrow is the last day of school. Very soon our nation will celebrate Memorial Day which often serves as the unofficial beginning of summer. From now until the start of school and the arrival of Labor Day Churches will experience a summer drop off in attendance. For the months of June, July and August Church attendance will drop drastically as people spend time at kids sporting events, on vacation, doing weekend recreation and just resting.
None of this is real news. Anyone who has spent more than a year in a Church has seen this phenomenon played out first hand. I would also say that I completely understand why it happens. I take my personal vacation in the summer. I enjoy the weather and time with my children without the grind of school.
My fear is that some of those people who start missing Church this Summer will slowly drift away from Church altogether. In my experience I have rarely had people quit Church in one big decision. Instead most of the time it is a slow fade. Missing one week leads to two weeks, leads to a month and soon six months are gone. Before you know it Christmas is here and the Church is no longer a part of my life.
So, please let me offer up a couple of suggestions to help you from slowing drifting away from the Church and possibly your faith this summer.
First – Attend Church somewhere every week. If you are out-of-town, that’s okay, I guarantee there are Churches near where you will be. This minimizes your gaps between worship and exposes you to all kinds of new faith experiences.
Second – Use Internet Services. If you can’t make it to a place of worship or you just want to sleep in as long as you can, that’s okay. Numerous Churches have services online on Sundays (and Saturdays). I have used the one at LifeChurch.tv on snow days in the past. You can sleep in, skip the shower and stay in your pajamas. I do not recommend these every week, but they are helpful in certain situations.
Third – Have a personal worship time. If your weekend is too busy for any kind of Church then take time to worship as a family on a weeknight. Read the Bible together. Listen to a sermon online. Listen to worship songs and possibly sing along. Write an offering check, put it in an envelope and get ready to send it off. You get the idea.
Finally – Stay personally connected to your Church. Invite people from the Church you attend over to your house. Have a cookout. Sit on the porch and drink a lemonade and talk. Sit together at a children’s sporting event. The more that Church people remain in your life, the harder it will be to walk away.
While we are headed into a difficult time in most Churches, it does not have to be a time in which faith gets lost. Doing a few simple things to keep your faith alive will help you to continue growing and avoid the slow fade.
Many years ago I was sitting with a group of preachers in a restaurant eating from a Chinese buffet. A man at a nearby table apparently had been listening in on our conversation. He walked over to our table and asked who we were. We told him that we were all preachers who had gathered to talk about new Church planting. He then raised his hands over us and said something that I had heard before but seemed to sound fresh. Right there in the restaurant he said a blessing over us.
Not immediately remembering the origin of his words I went home and searched the concordance on my computer. I quickly found his words in a book of the Bible that I was more accustomed to skipping over than reading. It was a quote from the book of Numbers.
Numbers 6:22-26 (NIV)
The Lord said to Moses, (23) “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them:(24) “‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you;
(25) the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
(26) the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”‘
From that day forward I have tried to keep these words locked in my memory. Anytime I am unsure what to say to people I have this blessing hidden away. I have found it fits when praying for Christians, when speaking to a youth groups and even just in the quiet of my own mind. And today, my readers, I say this blessing over you.
Yesterday I was a part of a funeral here in Adrian. The program was slated to start off with a special service from the Masons to honor the deceased’s heritage. Evidently there was some miscommunication and instead of the 10-12 men who were expected to perform the ceremony only 3 showed up. Charles introduced himself and apologized for the lack of attendance and said the group would proceed as planned to “honor their brother.”
Charles had 5-6 typed pages of material to read and he meticulously read through every word. Things were going okay until he reached the part where there were symbols to be displayed and explained before placing them in the coffin. Because the rest of the group did not show up Charles was left empty-handed. He said, “Now here I should have ______.” The interesting part was that he proceeded as though nothing were missing. He mentioned the missing symbol and then went on to explain what should be happening.
At the end of their 15 minute ceremony Charles read the last word and finally dropped the papers he had been reading. He looked intently over to the family and said, “I did my best.”
The family smiled and he walked over to shake their hands. He told each one of his sorrow at their loss and his appreciation for the deceased. It was very clear that his intentions were good even though not everything had gone as planned.
I sat in my corner chair watching all of this unfold. I wanted to help the poor guy but I also felt he was honoring the family and the deceased simply by doing his best.
Most of the time in the Christian life the work we do does not need to be perfect, we just need to do our best. When we give our best effort, I believe our heart connects with God’s power and great things happen. Today I have recommitted to continually giving my best, no matter how difficult the situation seems.
Here are a few great articles that I have read on the web lately. They cover a variety of topics that are sure to encourage and challenge. Enjoy
How to Deal with Different Types of Difficult People
Forgiveness: It’s Not What You Think
A (Very) Short Prayer for My Dullest Days
5 Things Parents Should Stop Doing
Second Chance Pastor 