Since coming to Adrian Christian Church I have struggled to remember people’s names. I work hard to make connections and remember people clearly. I admit I have been using the pictorial directory as a “cheat sheet” to help me. It is still hard to know everyone.

This effort has led me into many conversations with people about the dynamics of human relationships. To me this is an important piece of information that people in Churches (or any organization) need to know and understand.

All of us have limits to the amount of people we can know and have relationships with. A man named Robin Dunbar did a study that is now referred to as “Dunbar’s number.” He stated that the maximum limit of relationships a person can have is 150. Others have argued with his numbers and said we can actual have a relationship with 230, 250 or 290 people. Dunbar stated that after 150 we might know someone’s name but we do not have an active relationships with those people.

Inside of that 150, I usually break down that group into levels of relationships. I have broken it down this way: we each have 3 really deep relationships, 12 strong relationships, 72 surface relationships and the rest we know their name and one or two minor aspects of their life. I have derived these numbers from the life of Jesus and the relationships he maintained. He had his “inner circle” of Peter, James and John. They were part of the larger group of 12 disciples. Jesus sent out the 72 (or possibly 70) with those 12 included. Finally, after his resurrection the larger group of 120 people stayed true to Jesus while waiting for the Holy Spirit.

I read an article that broke it down very similarly that made sense to me. The article stated that we have 5 people we contact daily, 15 people we contact weekly, 50 people we contact monthly, and 150 people we contact annually.

Why is all of this important?

Because – no matter what the size of a Church’s attendance, those numbers remain the same. It doesn’t matter if you attend a Church with 150 people on Sunday morning or 1500 people you still have the same number of relationships. It doesn’t matter if your Church has one Sunday morning program or five of them. Your relationship number is the same.

When people say, “we no longer know everybody” they are always referring to the group above 12 or 15. They no longer know the names of people they come in contact with and it is frustrating.

Let me be clear – the goal of a Church has never been for us to know everyone otherwise the Church was in trouble at the start with 3,000 people coming to accept Jesus as their Savior in Acts 2. I believe the personal goal for a church member is to make sure that each person is developing the deep relationships and the strong relationships they need.

So instead of trying to know everyone, open up your life to a few. It will be far more fulfilling than knowing people’s names. Trust me on this one.

One of the programs that Adrian Christian Church offers during its Vacation Bible School (VBS) program is called Jr. Missions. The basic concept is that sixth through eighth grade students will come to VBS and then go out of the building to do some mission project. This week they prepared a meal for senior housing and then delivered it. The group also went and played bingo at the assisted living facility. When we arrived both nights it was clear that 25 students plus 4 helpers were going to be a tight fit, so I went out onto the porch to watch and listen from a distance.

To me it was equally clear both nights that the food and the bingo were secondary. The joy of the evening for both older groups was having someone new to talk to. The flip side was also true, while the kids may not have been as thrilled with the senior adults they were filled with joy to be doing this project with their friends. The real joy of the evening was simply being in the presence of other people.

For years I have noticed that the worst type of punishment you can give a person is solitary confinement. If you remove people from our lives there is an absence that affects us deeply. In fact, much of my job has been the preaching of the gospel, but the rest is simple spending time with people. I am called to be there to fill a void in people’s relationships. This usually happens at the hospital or the funeral home or sometimes when I just sit and visit.

I believe this realization has a two-fold application. First, thank God for the people in your life. Second, be the person in someone else’s life. Your presence may brighten someone’s day and help to fill a need by just being there.

Last week I had the opportunity to talk with dozens of people from my Church. Some of the people have gone from total strangers to friends in the last few weeks. The longer I know people the more I am willing to joke with them. I also notice the more I joke with them the more willing they are to joke with me.

On Wednesday I was joking with a few people and then a thought hit me very clearly. One of the things that I love about being a part of a Christian community is that we can joke with each other without the fear of evil intent. People in Church may joke about my growing bald spot or my round belly or my grammatical errors and I know that most of them are just having fun. They are not being mean or hurtful. Yes, there are a few exceptions to the rule. There are some people who come into Church full of bitterness and anger who are always trying to get a “dig” into other people. But I have found these people are the exception to the rule. Generally most of the people in the Church know their motives and either ignore them or avoid taking it personally.

Honestly, one of the reasons I love hanging around with some Church people is that I can laugh and joke without fear. I believe that joy is a deep-rooted Christian virtue and if you have joy it will show on your face and in your words. Laughter will be in your voice and humor will be on your lips. One favorite old preacher of mine used to say that “laughter is the surest sign of the grace of God in our lives.” In other words, when we realize the grace of God in our lives we will no longer fret over all of our little mistakes and shortcomings, rather we will shrug our shoulders and laugh.

Several years ago they made the gospel of Matthew into a movie. It was taken word for word from the New international Version and was called the Visual Bible. While it had some flaws because of its lack of “harmony” with the other gospels it had one major strength. Jesus was happy. He smiled and laughed. I liked the idea of a serious Jesus in some arenas of life, but I equally like Jesus who is full of joy at the proper times too.

The Church is a lot of things. It is trying to accomplish a great deal in this world. One thing I firmly believe is that the Church is to be a place where people can enjoy life together. I hope you find the Church to be such a place. I know I have.

I believe one of the things we should do in ministry is stop and celebrate what God is doing. That is what I want to do today.

Last week we held our Vacation Bible School at Adrian Christian Church and I believe it was a huge success. In fact, it was the biggest VBS I have ever been a part of in my ministry.

I do not have the exact numbers yet, but here is what I have been told:

– Our largest night had over 150 children.
– Altogether we have over 175 different children through the doors
– The class I helped with had over 20 Jr. High students come to help serve our community every night.
– We had dozens of adult volunteers in every area.
– We had dozens of teenagers volunteer to help
– Yesterday at Church was packed as we had almost every seat full in the auditorium, people were standing in the lobby and a few were in the kitchen overflow with me.
– It was great to see the children perform their songs and see their enthusiasm during our worship time.

I could probably go on and on about how great last week was for our Church. God used our Church to touch the lives of our community. This week I want to thank God for all He is doing, thank the volunteers for all their hard work and thank the children (and their parents) for participating.

Faith is alive and well in our community and especially our Church. Thanks be to God.

I am amazed at how many people have responded to my post last week about myself. My favorite comment was that it helped people to know me outside of being a preacher and church leader. So I thought I would share a few more things today that are my favorites. Maybe not as thought-provoking as last week but still revealing.

Favorite Food
5. Pizza (tie for favorites)
4. Fried Fish
3. Thick juicy hamburger
2. Crab legs
1. Grilled Ribeye Steak

Favorite Dessert
5. A second helping of the main dish
4. Cheese Cake
3. Chocolate Milk Shake
2. Chocolate Silk Pie
1. Fudgy Brownies (absolutely no nuts)

Favorite Hobbies
5. Watching Movies
4. Hunting
3. Metal Detecting
2. Fishing
1. Watching my boys play sports

Biggest Fears
5. Personal financial collapse
4. Sight of blood and guts
3. Spiders and Snakes
2. Something bad happening to my family
1. Bridges – Especially narrow, high bridges

Unique Things You Might Never Guess About Me
5. I like to enter sweepstakes
4. I have gone dumpster diving and trash digging for items I own
3. I obsessively claim free stuff offered almost anywhere (I have a bunch of free gifts from Marlboro:-)
2. I enjoy thrift shopping
1. I collect and redeem reward points of all kinds – credit card points / coke rewards / Kellogg’s rewards / etc.

Once again, I hope these reveal a little about me – and not in a bad way. I live a very cheap life so that I have money to enjoy doing and eating the things that I love.

That is really all I have to share about me for a while, unless you have a special request of something thing to know about me. Thanks for reading. And thanks for letting me be your blogger and possibly your pastor.

I was looking through my computer at a group of older files I have about Church leadership. In my search I ran across a list I have had in the files for about 15 years. It is directed at Church leadership but it can apply to most of life. I do not really know who created it, but it is pretty good.

LEADERSHIP LESSON FROM THE LIFE OF JESUS

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love and trust them anyway.
“Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
“And Jesus told them, ‘you are like children who don’t know what they want. John the
Baptist came neither eating nor drinking, and you said he had a demon. The Son of Man
comes eating and drinking, and you say I am a glutton, a friend of sinners.'” (Mt.11:16-19)

3. If you are successful you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The crowds who cheered Him on Sunday and called Him King were the same who on Friday cried, “Crucify Him.” (Lk. 19:36-40 and John 19:1-6)

4. The service you render today will be forgotten tomorrow. Serve people anyway.
“Were not ten lepers cleansed, and only one returned to give thanks.” (Lk. 17:11-19)

5. Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.”
(Matthew 18:15-20)

6. The biggest men with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men with the smallest ideas. Think big anyway.
“During the supper the Lord Jesus foretold that one of them would betray Him … the disciples questioned which one it might be, and a dispute rose among them as to which was the greatest.” (Luke 22:22-24)

7. People pretend to love the “little” people, but sell their souls to the “big” people. Fight for the “little” people anyway.
“Let the little children come unto me, for of such is the Kingdom of heaven.” (Lk. 18:15-17)

8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
“Judas came, kissed Him, and they took hold of Him…then all the disciples deserted Him
and fled.” ( Mt. 26:47-56)

9. People really need help, but may attack you if you do help. Help people anyway.
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me…to preach good news…all the people in the synagogue
were furious when they heard this. They got up and drove Him out of town.” (Luke 4:16-30)

10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
“Pilate asked them, ‘Which one do you want me to release to you: Barabbas or Jesus, who is called the Christ?’
‘Barabbas,’ they answered.” (Mt. 27:11-26)

Much of life is live “in spite of” or “because of.”

For example:
– Some people have faith in spite of experiencing deep loss. Others have faith because of some enormous blessings.
– Some people have deep relationships with others in spite of bad encounters. Others have strong relationships because of some great connections.
– Some people become great leaders in spite of their lack of support. Others become great leaders because of a strong support network.
– Some ministries have a great impact in spite of poor organization. Other ministries make a difference because of a strong structure.
– Some Churches grow in spite of poorly put together worship programs. Other Churches grow because of an exciting worship experience.
The list could go on and on.

This realization has led me to two conclusions;

One – God can and will do anything He wants despite our best efforts to mess things up.

Two – Life is not so much about what happens to us and to how we react to what happens to us.

Sometimes in life our list of reasons we could give up are longer than our list of reasons to hang on. Our problems are often not just the circumstances going on around us, but the faith within us to do the right thing in spite of those circumstances. And yet, if we hang on and react in the way that God would have us to act then I believe He steps in and makes the best of our lives, ministries and Churches.

Almost every week I have to tie a knot in one of my ropes and hang on until God shows up and my “in spite of” turns into a “because of.”

I am always inspired by people realizing the second chance they receive in God.

HERE is the story of one mother and her thoughts on a second chance over at “We are that family.”

I have never heard a single Sunday school lesson or sermon that I can remember on the lives of two men who are a huge part of Israel’s history. In the book of Exodus God gives great details about how the tabernacle and all of its furnishings will be built. About two-thirds of the way into the story of the tabernacle in Exodus 31 God tells Moses about Bezalel (son of Uri, the son of Hur from the tribe of Benjamin) and about Oholiab (son of Ahisamach of the tribe of Dan). These men are “filled with the Spirit of God, with skill ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts” (Ex. 31:3). They are introduced in Exodus 31 and their story picks up again in chapters 35 and 36. In 35:34 it states that not only do these two have the ability to do the work but they also have “the ability to teach others.”

Bezalel is the primary builder of all of the religious furnishings for the nation of Israel. Oholiab is his right hand man. Apparently they work side by side like old friends. Together they build and craft while teaching the people how to replicate what they are doing.

Moses is the leader who receives the word of God and tells the people. These guys are the men of action. They take the word of God and build and mold the future of Israel’s house of worship. These are the guys who built the ark of the covenant as the center of God’s presence.

This story grabbed a hold of me recently and I have been reflecting on it the last couple of weeks. I have come to understand a few things:

1. All of us have some skill God can use. You may not be a preacher or leader, but that does not mean you are unnecessary in God’s kingdom. Building and making things for God’s glory is a valid ministry. What skill do you have that God could use?

2. You may not lead but you can serve. There were numerous craftsman who helped Bezalel and Oholiab who never get mentioned by name. They served and brought glory to God without their name ever being mentioned. What is holding you back?

3. No matter what you do, be sure and teach someone else how to do it. It is easy to get the “I’ll do it myself” mindset. Sometimes projects are just easier done that way. I completely understand that thinking, but these two guys take the time to teach others. This makes their work easier in the long run. It helps to develop other people’s gifts. It allows my work to continue if something happens to me. Finally, it enabled the work to get done faster than two man could have done it alone. What ministry are you sharing with someone?

4. You may do something great and quickly be forgotten. I never remember hearing anything about these two guys in Sunday School or Church but that does not mean they were not pleasing to God. They performed a great act of service that blessed people for generations. Being famous is not the same as being faithful.

I am sure there are other lessons we could learn from these two Biblical characters but you get the idea. I guess I have been thinking about this because our Church is kicking off a Vacation Bible School (VBS) tonight. I have watched people serve behind the scenes designing, decorating, preparing food, getting lessons ready and preparing for a week with large group of kids. Some days I feel like Moses leading the people but I realize without all the Bezalels and Oholiabs the Church would get nothing done.

Somebody thinks your are weird. They think that you are strange because you like to do that. Others think you are freaky because you like to eat that. Still others think you are odd because you collect that item.

I have the opportunity to talk to a large number of people. It seems that everyone I meet has unique hobbies, tastes, collections and obsessions. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “Wow, that’s unique.”

One good thing about life in the 21st century is that I can go onto the internet and find a tribe like me. Personally I can find whole sites dedicated to metal detecting with forums where “my people” can communicate with one another. There are whole websites dedicated to people who like to hunt bears and other websites dedicated to people who like to catch crappies. The possibilities are almost unlimited.

The local Church is often the exact opposite. We come together each week with almost nothing in common. Yesterday we had a fellowship luncheon and I talked to people are retired, who are self-employed, who are unemployed and those who have had the same job for 20 plus years. I talked to people who have grandchildren, who have adopted children, who have several children and those who have no children. I talked to those who love football and basketball and I talked to people who are very unAmerican 😉 The list could go on and on about the vast diversity that exists in each and every local Church.

The Church is not a group of people brought together because we have similar likes and dislikes. In fact, some of us think some of you are weird.

What brings us together is our common faith in God and His son Jesus Christ. We are brought together by faith in the eternal God who loves us.

The Church is then presented with this one interesting struggle – taking totally unique people and forming them into one community. Sometime it comes easy, but most of the time it is hard. I think for it to work we are going to have to look past each others weirdness and embrace the individual who needs a Savior just like I do.

Just don’t invite me over for green bean casserole, because that is way too weird for me:-)