When you read the Bible, it is easy to see there are some things that just plain evil. Theft, adultery, and murder are nasty things. No denying it. No arguing about it. They are just bad.

You will also notice some things are always presented as Godly actions. Generosity and love are of God. No debate about it. No resistance to it. They are good.

Other things are hard to label. Most of the items and actions in our life can be used for bad, or they can be used for good. They can inspire people to a Godly life or destroy them for evil. There is a fine line that divides something into being a positive action and a negative one. This makes it hard always to know where we stand. Sometimes we need to be reminded that what we thought was right, might actually be the evil that is destroying us.

Here are four items that are impacting your soul that you need to assess.

1. Your Schedule. Is your schedule overloaded? A packed schedule can be a sign that you are busy doing the Lord’s work or it can destroy your soul by leaving no time for God. You can use your time to water your soul or run it dry. Where does all your time go? How much goes to your family, how much to yourself, how much to work and how much to God?

2. Social Media. Are you driven by the approval of others? Continually posting on social media can be a sign that you are friendly and trying to impact the world for God. It can also be a sign that you are self-absorbed and trying to keep up a front so that all the world will love you. How much of your time is spent on one form of social media or another? One man said something like this, “If social media has shown us anything, it is that we have plenty of time to look at pages and our excuse for not reading the Bible is gone.”

3. Personal Connections. Do you have real, solid Godly friendships in your life? The people you spend time with are shaping your character, attitude, and faith. Do you spend time with people who want to see you grow in the ways of the Lord or the world? Computers can be a great thing; they can also move us toward isolation and despair. All humans need someone to speak directly to them in love with truth. Who do you have in your life?

4. Recreation. What do you do for fun? Does it promote the work of the Lord in your life or does it take away from it? I am not opposed to fun and enjoyment, but it can be a tool for evil when it pulls us away from God’s work in our life. Are you spending more time on self-satisfaction and enjoyment than on the things of God?

All of these are hard questions, and yet they are essential for every believer to ask themselves regularly. At least once a year I must look at my life and evaluate my actions. As a follower of Jesus, I am called to live under his Lordship and not my agenda. It is easy to avoid the bad and embrace the good, it is more challenging to use everything else in a Godly way also.

One unexpected part of my job is proofreading. Each week I am given the Church’s printed program or a newsletter or some form of advertisement and told to look it over for any issues. Immediately my critical brain begins to look at every word and every detail. Usually, I can find a word or spacing that needs to be changed. Often a see a font that requires adjustment and minor details that might go unnoticed by the majority of people.

How can I spot these flaws? I see them because I am looking for them.

On the flip side, quite often I do not notice mistakes on my blog. Punctuation issues and grammatical errors slip past me. The difference is that when I write, I am looking for big ideas and content flow while ignoring the minor details. I am not looking at the material the same way.

The same is true about life in general. If you go through your day looking for reasons to be happy, you will find them. If you focus on the negative, you will find an excuse to be mad. Your attitude is not just based off what you experience, but how you take those occurrences into your life. Your mind and heart see what they want to notice.

Therefore, Paul tells Christians, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 NIV)”

At the end of this day, you will say it was a great day or a lousy one. The difference might only be found in what you choose to see.

Some weeks I feel like quitting the ministry.

My mind usually goes to one of two places at times like this. The first is of a little fishing business where I sell bait and tackle while swapping stories of big fish. In the second dream, I run a tiny ice cream stand, and my specialty is a hot fudge sundae with whip cream. Both scenes are connected in their own strange way. Each one involves people who can’t wait to see me and always happy with what I am offering them.

In both scenarios, I remain a believer in God, but I become a private person. I talk to no one about my faith, and I am never rejected. I am not involved in any church so that no one will disappoint me. There would also be no ministry involvement of any type, that way I will never fail at anything I attempt to do for God. It would be a perfect life with happiness, quietness and little disappointment with people.

Somewhere in this daydream I snap back to reality and remember Jesus.

Serving Jesus rarely sees immediate results. Over three years Jesus performed public ministry and even after his death and resurrection only about 120 people followed him. Only years later will his ministry begin to impact the entire world.

Following Jesus is always tough work. Jesus primary message is of love, kindness, humility and serving others and people killed him for it. Whenever you tell people there is a better way to live there will be those who will oppose your words.

Trusting Jesus comes with a continual temptation to quit. After Jesus most challenging sermon on the bread of life in John chapter 6 the crowds turn away and leave. Jesus asks his twelve disciples if they are going to leave him too. Even those closest to him could have walked away to their little world where life was safe and quiet.

I am convinced that I am not alone in my thoughts about quitting. Every believer faces the temptation to give up at some point. During times like this, I cling to Jesus, after all, the other life looks easy, but Jesus is the only place to find eternal life. I promise I won’t give up. Don’t you ever give up either.

Yesterday in my sermon I shared something with the congregation that many people have never heard. I am in a series of sermons called “Fix My Marriage,” and I was addressing the issues of past hurts. The key to moving beyond our past hurts is forgiveness. Even then, quite often when we try to ask for forgiveness or offer it, we run into more difficulties. One of the reasons is because we each have a way in which we desire to give and receive forgiveness.

Here are the five primary ways we communicate an apology:

1.“I’m sorry” [Express Regret]
2. “I was wrong” [Accepting Responsibility]
3. “How can I make it right?” [Making Restitution]
4. “I want to change?” [Genuine Repentance]
5. “Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?” [Requesting Forgiveness]

Understanding each one of these is key to helping your relationships move beyond the hurts of the past.

You can find my sermon HERE

You can find out more from the original books Here and HERE.

I read several good articles over the past week. Here are some of the best. Enjoy.

9 Sunday School Sayings That Could Use a Fact Check

10 Ways To Beat An Addiction

4 Ways to Love Your Pastor

Community Rank – This could apply to the community where I live or to the community of believers.

I never wanted to do youth ministry. In fact, in Bible college, I used to make fun of the guys who wanted to be youth pastors as less gifted and educated than those who worked with adults. God in his infinite wisdom has provided the last laugh. In every Church I have served I have also been one of the youth group leaders and often the primary director.

Two weeks ago, I started my 25th year of working with teenagers while serving as a preacher. Through the years I have seen my share of changes. In the beginning, there was no internet. No Church had a projector in their youth room; most did not have them in their main auditorium. I used a chalkboard, relied on audio tapes, and occasionally brought in a huge box TV that weighed hundreds of pounds to play a VHS tape. Here are five of the most significant changes I have personally witnessed in teen ministry over the years.

1. No One Respects Church Functions. In the early years, the school did not schedule any events on Sunday evening, and few things were planned on Wednesday night. Our Church recently gave up trying to have anything on Wednesday night because the schedule is already full. Sunday evenings are slowing filling up with extracurricular activities. The calendar is always packed for everyone, including teens.

2. Teens Have More Access to Christian Material. Whenever I encounter a young adult who wants to grow in the Lord, I have hundreds of resources for them. I used to have to search to find Christian music. The local Christian bookstore had a room where you could listen to cassette demos to see if you liked the latest band. Now you can find hundreds of songs through different online sources. There are more books, bands, lesson material, and possibilities than ever before.

3. Pornography is Changing Everything. While there is more access to Godly material than ever before, there is also more access to evil. Kids as young as 10-12 have open access to pornography without restriction. They consume it to the point that some claim it is rewiring their brains. It has an impact on the way they view sex, marriage, the opposite sex and themselves. The impact of this surge is going to be felt for years and years to come.

4. Sports is the New Religion. People worship at the altar of sports (at least in the areas I ministered). Once school is done each day, there is an undying commitment to athletics. It consumes time, energy and money. People throw all their efforts into the making sure their kid is involved in every activity, and it supersedes anything else, especially Church.

5. Grace is Needed Now More Than Ever. Teens today seem more lost, alone, hurting, full of shame and guilt, confused and empty. Suicide and addiction are on the rise. The need for the message of Jesus is growing with every day and every school year. I continually invite adults to join with me in reaching out to this generation with the grace of Jesus. They need people who model real faith and can teach the truth.

Many things have changed, but with God’s guidance, the work of youth ministry is more important now than ever. I pray you work for God’s glory in this generation.

The man said he kept a cross in his pocket because “it brought him good luck.” The lady said, “Let’s say a prayer that we get lucky tonight during the raffle.” The couple started coming to Church because some bad things had happened and they “wanted to get on God’s good side.”

Over and over I meet people and hear stories that confirm faith for most people is just an extension of their superstitions. They carry a cross, make the sign of the cross, and say a quick prayer along with wearing their lucky hat and rubbing their rabbits’ foot.

Because a belief in God requires a faith in the unseen forces in the world, we tend to lump it together with other things we can’t explain. After all, who cares as long as we get what we want.

Following Jesus is not about adding another superstition to my life so that I can bring myself good fortune. Believing in Jesus is about bringing every moment in line with the life of Jesus. It is about seeking to do what he told us while following his example. Being a Christian is about surrendering my soul to Jesus as my Savior and my Lord.

God did not give you that empty parking space because you have a Jesus bumper sticker. He does not allow my team to win because I have a cross in my pocket. He doesn’t even help you find a special deal while shopping because of your religious T-shirt.

The life of a believer is not about superstition but trust. Trust that God is working when I cannot see him give me immediate rewards. Faith seeks God’s plan when I seem to have nothing good happening. A follower of Jesus does not understand their religion as a means to an end, but rather as a life to be lived.

Each day, we have the choice to walk the way of Christ or choose the superstition of religion. One will allow you to experience grace and peace and the other will leave you wanting more.

As a parent, you expect to teach your children all about life, but you never know how much they will educate you. The last couple of days I have been reflecting on this summer, and the time I have spent with my boys. Three of them have been in my house all summer, and one has popped in and out for a week here and there. My time with them is winding down not only for the summer but for the rest of my life. They are growing up and moving to college and on with their life. I love my days with them, and they are teaching me a few life lessons along the way.

1. Rest. My boys know how to sleep. They sleep as long as possible in the morning. If they lie down during the day, they end up taking a nap. My life seems always to be this hurried flurry of activity, and they remind me that there is still time to rest.

2. Trust. I vaguely remember life as a teenager. Back then I had no idea about the things that occupy my mind now: stuff like insurance, taxes, mortgage and dozen other concerns. I never worried about them because I knew my parents had it all under control. My boys rarely seem concerned about anything. Then I think, why should they, I will take care of it. Oh, to trust God like a teenager trusts his parents.

3. Fun. My boys are highly involved in both basketball and football. They are pretty good athletes and enjoy winning games, but none of them acts as if this were the sum total of their existence. Sports were meant to be fun, and somehow it has been turned into work. My boys are not afraid to laugh and joke before, during and after practice. I am sure it makes all the kids who take it “serious” a little frustrated, but I don’t care. Games are games, not life. There is plenty of time to be serious as an adult.

4. Family. Twice recently I have had conversations with people about children. They complained about how difficult it is with two kids (makes me laugh) and how they will not have anymore. My wife and I had four and in retrospect I kind of wish we had more. My family brings me so much joy. Sure, there are headaches, and they are about to break me financially, but the precious moments together make it all worth it. I deeply love my family in every way. I am glad to have this time with them before they grow up.

5. Time. Ask any parent, and they will tell you how fast time flies. One day they are barely walking, the next day they are in Jr. High and before you know it you are dropping them off at college. Time is fleeting. Never put off to tomorrow what you can do today. Savor every minute you get as soon the fun is over, the family is gone, and you will long for them to lie sleeping on your couch knowing you will take care of everything.

God has given me another wonderful summer with my wife and kids. I am thankful for that time once again. This week they all head back to school, and the house will become silent with the absence of life. I breathe a sigh of relief but quietly look forward to Thanksgiving when we will all be together again.

One of the quickest ways to build a relationship with another person is to make them feel valuable. It is the way to start a new friendship or to strengthen an existing one. Whenever we treat people as special, they begin to view us as special to them. Here are a few of the ways I have experienced people showing how much they value me over the past few weeks.

1. Open Ended Meetings. Recently I have been a part of two different meetings. One of them was open-ended, and we talked for an extended length of time. The other person started our meeting by telling me they had to be someplace else in an hour. My feelings toward both were dramatically different based only on the time frame they had given me. Nothing makes someone feel more special than blocking out large sections of time.

2. Put the Phone Away. Again, I was recently meeting with someone, and in the middle of a story I was saying they picked up their phone and started typing. I stopped talking, and they said, “Keep going, I hear you.” Is it okay to say that I felt devalued? It was as if my words were just background noise to another conversation in which that person wanted to be involved.

3. Encourage Something They Enjoy. I know of a guy who continually gives away coupons. If he knows you like a steakhouse or a particular fast-food restaurant he will give you a coupon for that place when he finds one. When you know that someone has a hobby or activity they enjoy, it is always a blessing to encourage it in some way. A gift, a coupon, a gift card or something like that demonstrates that you like me beyond a handshake.

4. Ask Genuine Questions and Listen to the Response. A guy I know grabbed me and asked, “How are you doing?” I gave my typical “Fine” response. He then said, “No, how are you really doing? Is everything okay at home and work?” In a way, I can’t quite explain it broke down a wall in my mind. I stopped and began to share something that was going on in my soul. What is even more special is that he quietly listened to my answer. He asked probing questions and offered to pray for me.

5. Smile. This is so simple and yet I must remind myself to do it repeatedly. When I go to talk to someone, and their face turns to a serious or angry demeanor, then I know how that person feels about me. I like talking to people who seem genuinely happy to have a conversation. I am always filled with joy when you smile as I start talking.

Recently I have noticed these five things that people do that make me feel special. When someone does these, I recognize how my life has value to them beyond a casual acquaintance. As I have noticed each one of these the biggest question for me, “How do I make people feel by my presence?” One of my hopes as a Christian is that people are blessed by having me in their life.

Here are some of the best articles I have read over the past few weeks. I hope you enjoy them.

Maybe God Is Making You Wait Because He Wants You To Learn That There’s No Timeline For Anything In Life – A thought-provoking article that is well written.

Don’t Worry About Inviting Me – I just like this.

Does Everything Really Come Down to Sex? – This is a great blog about a topic I am not addressing in my marriage sermon series. In fact, I recommend you read her blog daily. It is great stuff.

Don’t Miss the Intimate Moments in Your Marriage

Eight areas where pastor’s wish they were better equipped. – truth

5 reasons pastors get depressed (and why they don’t talk about it) – more truth

7 Signs Your Church Is Honestly … Mediocre