All of us are looking for a quick fix. I want it today. Really, I want it now.

After 44 years on this earth I have come to realize that almost anything worthwhile takes time. This is equally true if you want a great mind or a great body or even a great spirit. Through the years I have watched people walk in the doors of the Church and hope to put their marriage back together and they want it by next month. I have had numerous teens that come to youth group and want deep relationships within 3 or 4 visits. I have watched people come looking for moral teaching for their children and give up after a year.

Unfortunately, none of those things work that way.

I firmly believe that healing for your marriage, great moral teaching for children, deep relationships and a of life transformation only come after a long period of repeated action. Eugene Peterson once wrote a book I read (now I forget almost all of it) entitled “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction.” I do remember that his point was simple; to develop a deep spiritual life you need to continue doing the same things day after day, month after month, year after year, and decade after decade.

The two simplest principles I know for real change: Start today. Don’t ever give up.

I did not grow up in a Church that celebrated religious holidays other than Christmas and Easter. With that said, today is Ash Wednesday or the first day of Lent. After reading that piece of information on the internet several times this morning I set out to find out more about this religious practice of which I know very little.

1. Lent is the 40 days before Easter (not counting Sundays – so it is actually 46 days long) This year Easter will fall on March 27th
2. Lent comes from the Anglo-Saxon word lencten, which means “spring.”
3. The forty days represents the time Jesus spent in the wilderness, enduring the temptation of Satan and preparing to begin his ministry.
4. Yesterday was Mardi Gras. The word Mardi Gras means “Fat Tuesday.” It is a day of celebration with feasting and partying before the religious seriousness begins. The idea was to spend a day of indulgence before a period of denying yourself.
5. Today is Ash Wednesday. Church leaders will take the palm branches from last year’s Lenten season and burn them to get ashes. A member of the clergy will then take those ashes and put them on the forehead of a Church member. It appears to be a symbolic reminder of man’s mortality and God’s solution in Jesus.
6. The original idea of the season as to set aside time for repentance, fasting and prayer leading up to Resurrection Sunday.
7. Most of these traditions are attributed to the Catholic faith in origin but some orthodox Churches also have it as part of their history.

The follow-up question for me is, “What do I think about this tradition?”

Well, there are two sides to that answer.

One, I see no Biblical reason to celebrate this season of Lent. There are no verses that talk about Lent, Fat Tuesday, Ash Wed. or any part of this holiday season. It is clearly an invention of the early Church to put a greater emphasis on the season in which we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Since there is no Biblical mandate to observe such a season then Christians are not required to keep it.

In Colossians 2:16 and Galatians 4 (especially vs 10), Paul explains that we have to be careful of believing that keeping a special religious holiday makes us right in God’s eyes. We are not saved by our righteous acts of worship but by Christ alone. Let no one enslave you to human traditions.

Two, I do not see that there is any harm in celebrating the Lenten season if it is done for the glory of God. In Romans 14:5-6 say that if one man considers a day as special it is okay as long as he does it for the Lord. It would probably benefit everyone if they spent a season of prayer and fasting this spring.

So today as people celebrate Lent and you see ashes on people’s head, hopefully you will have a better knowledge of what they are doing and why. May this day and everyday be a day for the glory of God.

One problem that many Churches fall into is trying to have too many programs. We want to have programs for every holiday and season along with every age group. There are two side effects that happen when a Church tries to over-program.

First, volunteers are worn out. Volunteers are giving time to the Church over and over again. Sometimes this group is only 20% of the total Church attendance. If that is true then every new program drains the people in this group of servants.

Second, you can wear people out for no reason. I firmly believe that the Church is not here to provide wonderful programs for every age and holiday. The Church is here to take people who are not believers and help transform them into fully devoted followers of Jesus. The end goal is not activity but transformation. Unfortunately many Church have for more activity than they have discipleship. People run from this program to that program and never really grow in their faith.

As a result of seeing these two problems I have encouraged people to think of Church in more simple terms. To grow as a believer there are only a few simple things I want each person to do.

1. Worship Regularly – I believe each person needs to worship in a community of believers on a regular basis. I would love for this to be weekly, but some people are required to serve during worship once a month so they cannot be in worship. I do think that the more you worship the greater possibility of growth.

2. Connect Regularly – Each person needs to be a part of something that helps them to connect with other believers. This could be Sunday school or a small group. It can be as simple as meeting with a couple other believers over coffee on a weekly basis. Do something that will allow you to fellowship on a deeper level with a few other followers of Jesus.

3. Serve Regularly – Everyone in the Church needs to use whatever gift God has given them to share the grace of God in some way. I would love to see everyone serve in some way once a week, but for many people twice a month is more realistic. Serving will stretch each person in their faith as they serve while blessing other people in the name of Jesus.

4. Give Regularly – The Bible talks more about money that almost any other topic. I think the cross and the love of God are the biggest subjects that the Bible addresses with money coming in third. I think this happens for a very practical reason. One of the biggest obstacles between man and his relationship with God through Jesus Christ is money. Giving, whether it be monthly or weekly, frees the grip money has on our hearts and teaches us to rely on God. Giving is an enormous step in our path to growth in Jesus.

Growing in Jesus is not a commitment to attend Church functions every time the doors are open. It is a commitment to doing a few simple actions over and over. This may sound easy but I promise you it will take the rest of your life to understand it.

I wanted to do a quick recap of yesterday’s sermon. I hope you find it as helpful as I originally found it to be for me.

Yesterday I preached a sermon about the expectations of marriage. There is a possibility that each one of us brings a box load of desires into a marriage and then we dump them on our spouse. We expect them to meet all of us desires and are disappointed if they fail. This creates a “debt/debtor” relationship which impacts the way we view our spouse and their actions.

The first step toward improving your marriage is to develop a Christ-like perspective. This is the perspective that says I will put others above myself because of my faith in God. This is hard to do but makes our marriage a living example of the gospel.

The second step is to begin communicating about our expectations. This takes a simple concept and grounds it in real life actions.

I want you to remember these three key words –

1. Share
Share your struggles with expectations with your spouse –
– Maybe that means saying “I am sorry that I placed all my expectations on you.”
– Maybe that means you say, “I feel like you crushing me with your expectations.”

2. Ask
Ask one vital question: “What can I do to make our marriage more enriching?”
It is a simple way of saying, “Share one of your desires with me that I can help fulfill.”

3. Reward
The biggest words you can say are “Thank you.” Thank you, that meant so much to me. Thank you for doing that thing I love.
Please note, this can be words spoken face to face, in a card or shown in a reciprocal action. You bless your spouse as you have been blessed.

All married couples struggle but the smallest of actions can change our experience. I firmly believe if two people try their best to connect with each other verbally and let that flow into their actions then marriage will be the most enjoyable part of life.

I usually keep this blog more personal but I need to take today and run through several things.

1. This Sunday starts – REAL MARRIAGE. I am preaching for two weeks on the topic of marriage. This first Sunday will be about the expectations we bring into marriage and the next week will be about communication within marriage. Both sermons overlap in their content and I hope you can make both weeks.
I would also say that this is a great sermon series to bring your married family and friends who do not go to Church. I am sure they will get something out of it that will bless their lives.

2. Special Fellowship Time. This Sunday after worship we will be having a special fellowship time in the kitchen area right after worship. We are going to take 10-15 minutes to fellowship before we start our Sunday school classes. Some ladies will be providing snacks to enjoy as we visit with one another. We hope you will stay around to talk and possibly eat.
Note – we plan on doing this the first Sunday each month for at least the next 3 months.

3. Serving – I am ready to follow-up. Several of you have signed up to get involved. I wanted to give everyone a chance to turn in their papers before I started contacting people. If you signed up to do anything you should be hearing something starting this Sunday.

4. Membership class – Last Sunday night we had a wonder membership class with 30 in attendance. I will begin follow-up from the class this next week as well. If you missed the class I hope you will plan to attend. The next class will be in later April or early May. Please let me know if you would like to be a part of the next one. I would love to see everyone at ACC take the class.

5. Congregational Meeting is Sunday Feb. 28. This will be held during our Sunday School hour, so there is no Sunday school that day. We will be talking about elders and deacons for the coming year along with me sharing some thoughts on the church. We may have one decision that would need a vote, but the board is still in discussion. I hope you will stay for this meeting and help Adrian Christian Church grow into all the Lord’s wants us to be.

Thanks for reading and may God bless you this weekend.

I am always hesitant to write anything about parenting since my children are not all grown up yet. Lately I have been feeling I needed to write something as I see a large number of parents whose children are headed down a path away from God. I hope you find this information helpful from someone who is a father of four and has been leading youth group at Church for over 20 years.

1. A Parent’s Faith Sets the Standard. Deuteronomy 6:7 tells us to impress faith on our children, but the previous verse says that God’s commands must be upon our hearts first. It is extremely rare that weak Christian parents produce good Christian children.
– Take the number of times you attend Church and know your children will probably attend less.
– Take the number of hours you serve the Lord through the Church and your children will serve less.
– Take the number of hours you read the Bible and pray and try to grow spiritually and you guessed it, your children will grow less.
*I do want to say that both mom and dad are important to this equation. If only one parent attends then the numbers get less and less. If dad doesn’t take faith seriously, the number of children who will grow up as strong Christians is extremely low.

2. Christian Friends Are Worth More Than Gold. I firmly believe that the biggest influences in the life of a teen between the ages of 14-16 are their friends. Their influence will decrease as they get older but their friends will still rival their parents influence into their 20’s and maybe 30’s.
– One reason Church is so vital is because it exposes children to other youth of like faith. It gives them a forum to work through their beliefs with other teens and caring adults. I think it is extremely important for a young person to be in Sunday School, youth group, FCA or some other Christian group weekly. They need to be there every week building strong relationships. It will take a long time, but the investment is worth it. HEAR THIS – young people who are not involved in their local Church before they are 14 will rarely grow up to follow Jesus. Yes, even that little angel you have at home who is 12.

3. Teens Need To Be Pushed to Grow in Their Faith. Teens get pushed to grow in class in Jr. High and High School. They will get pushed in sports and in clubs. Physically, mentally and emotionally they are growing – and they need to grow spiritually. They need to be pushed to read their Bible, discuss their beliefs and even pray out loud. Sometimes youth at Church learn an enormous amount from other teens. That can range from how to act as a believer to not how to act as a believer. Growth needs to come from somewhere with a Christian perspective outside of the home. Hopefully this will come through the Church in some way.

I have been witness to dozens and dozens of parents who think it will not happen to their children and they were wrong. They tell me in conversations about how disappointed they are with their children’s life choices. I usually want to say (but don’t), your problem started years ago. You missed developing their faith in their formative years and now it is too late.

I hope you will help your child develop their faith before it is too late.

I read books, blogs and magazines daily. I listen to sermons. I attend conferences. I am part of a ministers group that meets monthly. Every day I am trying to learn from other people. Even as a preacher I still love to attend a class that someone else is teaching. Most of the time I like to hear the discussion of the group after a lesson. I love to ask questions of people and hear the varied responses that come from different backgrounds and education.

I firmly believe that one of the reasons God put His followers into a group that we call the Church is so that we can learn from each other. The people I meet who have the most growing and vibrant faith are those who are continually trying to learn from other people. There is a toxic moment when you close your mind and think you have everything figured out.

So let me encourage you today to learn from other people.

1. Read something today. Anything that will help you grow as a believer. Find a favorite writer or blogger or magazine. At our Church I read the Christian Standard magazine monthly. I read the Lookout weekly. Most of their material is then posted as a blog each day. I continually recommend articles on my blog. Look up some of those and read them. Go to the source of those article I post and read several more posts by the same author. If in doubt, stop by my office and I will find you a book.

2. Listen to something this week. Maybe you watch it and listen at the same times. Doesn’t matter. Take in some form of lesson that will help you grow your faith. Go to YouTube and search names like Fred Craddock, Bob Russell, Ravi Zacharias, Andy Stanley and a hundred other possibilities.

3. Attend something this month. Go to Church on Sunday. Stay for Sunday school. Find a Bible Study through the week. If you cannot find anything (and I bet you can), then start something. Ask a couple of friends to get together and discuss what you are reading and/or what you are listening too.

4. Go somewhere in the next six months. Find a conference and go. It might be a women’s conference, men’s conference or couple’s conference. You might consider going to Ozark Christian College and their Preaching & Teaching convention this month. There are hundreds of possibilities of what you can attend in the next six months.

5. Learn about one topic this year that interests you. Invest time over the course of the year into one new topic. Try to learn all you can about Christian parenting or marriage or a doctrine or evangelism or whatever. Focus yourself on one topic and let other people teach you.

There is so much out there to learn. Open your mind and broaden your horizons. Imagine if one year from you now you might now if you committed yourself to learning.

Recently I have been pondering the possibility of someone making an honest mistake. My thoughts are prompted by a discussion I had about someone’s actions. In this conversation the accuser was questioning the motives and intentions of another person. A mistake was made and that is for sure, but what concerned me was that this person was reading way too much into the story.

Is it possible to make an honest mistake? To not have some hidden agenda to hurt another person? To do something wrong without trying to subconsciously or consciously hurt that person at a deeper level?

I forget to invite you, not because I have something against you. I just forgot.
I didn’t say that to hurt you. I just forgot about your struggle.
I didn’t write that to try and put you down. I thought it was funny.
I didn’t shake your hand because I was thinking about other things. Not because I am mad at you.
I never thought to send you a card. I was just busy and failed to follow through
Yes, I threw that away. I had no idea it meant that much to you.
The list could go on and on.

I firmly believe that each one of us can make an honest mistake without deeper meaning.

First – If you make an honest mistake …

1. Own up to it. Don’t blame other people. Don’t make excuses. Just be honest.
2. Say you are sorry for what happened. When something regrettable happens we need to share the regret.
3. Ask for forgiveness. This is hard. The words, “Will you forgive me?” are priceless.
4. Let it go.

Second – If someone has wronged you …

1. Let other people fail. We all do things wrong. Don’t hold other people to a higher standard than you hold yourself.
2. Don’t question motives too deeply. It is okay to wonder about the root of the problem, but be careful not to attribute thoughts and feelings to other people unless they have been expressly stated. Only God knows the heart of a person.
3. Offer grace and forgiveness. It has been said of Christians, “We offer forgiveness of the unforgivable actions of others, because God forgave the unforgivable actions of us.”
4. Offer help. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to say, “This happens a lot. Can I help you with this problem?”
5. Let it go. There is no need to keep replaying the mistakes of other people and holding it against them into the future. It will only rob tomorrow of its joy.

I hope this is helpful. I hope nothing I said offends you. Honestly.

Last Friday was my birthday. I turned 44 years old on January 29th. People have asked me if I had a good day and my response is that I slept in late and rested most of the day. I was not feeling well with a bit of a chest cold and just enjoyed the rest. I did spend a lot of time thinking about life on Friday and over the weekend. So I thought I would share 29 thoughts from my birthday on the 29th. These come in a completely random order.

1. Birthdays are fun when you are young but they lose something after 21.
2. Life’s best moments are the simple ones. A conversation. A hug. A smile.
3. Do something you enjoy even when no one else understands it.
4. The hardest thing to be in life is yourself.
5. I never imagined I would be right here right now. Life is a journey to unknown places.
6. No one cares how hard you work unless you are getting paid to do it.
7. I wish I could have back all the money I wasted in my life. Audio cassettes were a bad financial investment. Dating too.
8. Despite all the negative press, I still think smartphones are awesome.
9. When you are with another person, put the smart phone away and talk.
10. As a kid I could remember dozens of phone numbers. Now I can barely remember 311 or 411 or 911 or whatever that number is. Thanks smart phone.
11. My mother having email, a smart phone and texting is a greater gift to her family than she realizes. Most days anyway.
12. The internet has helped me to see myself as less strange.
13. My children will never understand how I feel about them.
14. I cannot imagine how God really feels about me.
15. I wonder if my mom and dad know how much I appreciate the thousand little things they have done for me.
16. My Church experience has been wonderful. My Church experience has been awful. Definitely understand the Church as a family metaphor.
17. I don’t understand people who say they love my preaching but don’t attend Church regularly.
18. My faith is stronger today than ever, but I still have lots of questions for God.
19. Don’t hate me for saying this: But I really dislike pets, especially as I get older.
20. I have bought far more books than I have read. I hope to get to them all one day.
21. As an introvert I find great joy in a quiet moment alone.
22. Invest in the better product. You will be happier in the long run.
23. Waste not, want not. Still good advice.
24. I take far more pictures than I ever go back and look at.
25. Do one thing every day that brings you joy. Even if it is just a piece of candy. It will remind you that life is good.
26. I believe very, very few statistics. Numbers can be bent different directions. And everything changes when you put God in the equation.
27. Everything, and I mean everything, you do will be criticized. Just get used to it and forget it. Move forward in spite of your critics.
28. People never cease to amaze me.
29. I honestly never thought I would live this long. Thanks God.