Here are some good articles for you to explore in the near future. Enjoy.

STOP MAKING YOURSELF THE HERO OF BIBLE STORIES

Boring Church Services Changed My Life

Sex Before Kissing: How 15-Year-Old Girls Are Dealing With Porn-Addicted Boys – A must read for parents of teenagers, especially young teens.

6 TOUGH THINGS THAT MIGHT BE ON YOUR PASTOR’S MIND TODAY – Inside a pastor’s mind on Monday.

5 PASTORAL PROVERBS THAT STUCK – Great stuff for Church leaders.

The Shack – A GOOD MOVIE TO MISS

I find these graphics fascinating –

There are some people I love to be around. From the moment I see them my heart lights up, and I have a smile on my face. There are just certain people who I look forward to seeing.

While thinking about this, I began to wonder what it is that makes some people so attractive to be around. What is it about some people that make them light up your life? In response to that one idea, I started a list of characteristics I find attractive in people. Here it is:

1. Encouraging – Some people always have a kind word. They are positive in almost every situation. They take their positive attitude and put it into words that help uplift others.

2. Giving – Some people are more than willing to share. They are ready to share their time, their talent and even their treasure. They have an open heart and an open life that is reflected in their open hands.

3. Spotlight Others – They say nice things about the people they know. They are not degrading of others. They are not gossips or backstabbing people. They talk nicely about everyone. The result is that you know they say nice things about you to others. This enables you to let down your guard and speak opening without fear of it coming back to hurt you.

4. Thoughtful – Some people just have a knack for making other people feel good. They remember big days like birthdays and anniversaries. They send cards when they are thankful for something. They show concern when they know you are down. They touch your heart when you need someone there to help.

5. Open & Inquisitive – They share their life and continually ask about yours. They are willing to be open and honest about their life but not in a way that is self-serving. They do it to put you at ease and make you feel better about your own struggles. They ask questions about your feeling. They actually want to know how you are doing with everything going on right now. They care about others with their words.

I think most of us would agree on my list. You might have something you would add, but this is a good start. The real issue for us is to flip this concept around. Do you and I possess any of these traits? Do people want to be around us because of our wonderful personality? Is there anything I can and should change about myself to connect with more people? The harsh reality is that sometimes our lives are lonely because we are not a pleasant person to be around.

Maybe we can start to change that today?

Physical health is paramount to me. I would say it is one of my top priorities.

1. I like to exercise. I mean I don’t do it daily or anything. I am not fanatical about it, those people are weird. I just think people should do it and one day I hope to get around to it.

2. I don’t attend a gym. Oh, I visit one on special occasions. I sometimes go if they have something special for the kids.

3. I have lots of books on diet and exercise. I haven’t read any of them, but one day I might.

4. I have lots of healthy friends, and I enjoy being around them. Usually, we talk over chips and salsa at the local Mexican restaurant.

5. I really want my children to grow up healthy. I never teach them personally about health as I don’t want to push my beliefs on them and make them resent healthy living.

6. My local market has a great health food section. I let my children make their own choices about what they buy and eat there. I do not want to push them into eating something they might regret later. After all, sometimes healthy food is boring and I do not want them to be bored while eating.

7. Right now I am overweight, but it is my heart that counts. I really do think about being healthy a great deal when I am home alone. It is one of the more sacred parts of my soul. But, don’t judge me if I consider a bowl of ice cream as a meal once in a while.

Does this seem crazy to you?

Yet, I hear the same craziness almost every week about religion.

My wife and I were recently talking about a couple who once attended a Church where I was the pastor. This couple loved us and supported us through some good and bad times. They appeared to grow in their faith and even assumed some leadership roles. Now, they no longer attend any Church, spend lots of time drinking and seem to be so far from God.

One observation that we made during this conversation was that they seemed to by more attached to us as Church leaders than to Jesus. When we left, their faith disappeared as we drove out-of-town. As we finished our conversation, I grabbed my phone and typed the title to this blog into my notebook app.

It is a complicated issue. I stand in front of the Church each week and speak for the Lord from his word. If I do my job well and the Holy Spirit uses my efforts you will be challenged, encouraged and grow as a believer. The result is that you will be glad I spoke those words, and you will begin to thank God for me. (I am humbled by even this thought). This is all good so far.

The problem comes when we take these thoughts and begin to misapply them.

1. I can only learn through this one preacher
Sure some voices touch us deeper than others, but anyone who preaches from the Bible has something they can teach us. I firmly believe that all preachers can teach us if we really want to learn.

2. The growth God brought through my preacher is because of him
The preacher did not change your life. God changed your life, he just used a preacher to speak the words of faith.

3. Everything my pastor says is wonderful
No preacher is perfect in their life, words, and thoughts. None!! Continue to use your head and search the Bible for yourself.

4. It is no longer a good church without that preacher
Sure, the Church you attend will be different with a new preacher, but as long as it worships Jesus, it is still a Church. If you feel this way, you may have been too attached to the guy in the front and not the people setting around you.

5. My faith is dead without hearing that preacher every week.
I have never heard anyone say this out loud, but I have sure seen it in their actions. The preacher leaves, and they quit their Church and finally their faith. Were you really trusting Jesus or just the guy who was leading the Church? That is a huge difference. This one often comes out with a moral failure. If your preacher committed some grievous sin and you lose your faith, then your faith was built on the preacher and not Jesus.

Here is the bottom line: one day this Church will have a different preacher. I have no immediate intentions of leaving, but what if I did? Even if I don’t leave now then one day, I will retire (hopefully), or I will drop dead. One way or another this Church will one day have another preacher. Would that change the way you feel about Jesus?

I hope and pray that each one of you likes your preacher and he is helping you to grow. I especially hope for that if I am your preacher. I also hope you see a clear line between liking your preacher and loving Jesus. Your future in the faith may depend on this vital issue.

Today is Valentine’s Day. It is a day known for cards, flowers (especially roses), candy and stuffed animals. Men will take their women out on dates and eat fancy meals and watch sappy movies. Many people will spend the day trying to show that one they love how much they feel about them. Today is a soft day that makes us feel good.

One day I realized that love is not always soft. In fact, building a great life of love often requires hard decisions.

1. Love Says No to Everyone Else
Real love looks at all others who vie for our love and firmly says, “NO!” That is more than just saying no to sex with another person. I believe that means not giving your thoughts to someone else emotionally. True love comes to a couple in exclusivity.

2. Love Says No to Everything That Pulls Us Away
I listened to a fascinating sermon recently, and the minister was talking about the dangers of putting your children into sports over Church. Then in the middle of the sermon he paused and said something like this, “One real danger is that couples who spend all their time at children’s sporting events are destroying their marriage.” He went on to say that most couples who give themselves entirely to their children end up having marriages that fall apart. We love our kids, but sometimes you are required to say that your marriage is more important. Maybe for you, that is something like work or even your own family. True love keeps the relationship a priority.

3. Love Says No to Selfish Desires
All of us want to be happy. We want to do the things that bring us joy. Many times, we have to put our own desires on hold for the desires of the one we love. It may mean we have to give up something we enjoy for a period of time. It may mean that we have to struggle with someone rather than be happy for a season. True love says yes to self-sacrifice.

4. Love Says Yes to Hard Work.
Real love is willing to do whatever it takes to keep the relationship together. That can take a thousand forms from doing the laundry to setting down for a heart to heart conversation. It means cooking dinner and seeking wise counsel when necessary. It means holding my tongue and suppressing my anger even when I feel I have the right to explode. It means doing whatever is necessary to make the other person happy without compromising my beliefs. True love is willing to put on gloves and get to work.

All of us enjoy days like today that are filled with warm, fluffy emotions. They bring out the best in us and make us feel good. Relationships that make it, those who spend a lifetime in love, are those who carry out the hard decisions and do the difficult tasks day after day.

I hope you enjoy today. I know I will. I also hope you are willing to get up tomorrow and the day after that and do whatever it takes to keep your love alive, no matter how hard it might be to do.

I first heard the concept of reverse engineering about 15 years ago. A preacher was delivering a conference breakout session. He talked about where we want our life to be 25 years from now. Everyone in the room agreed that they wanted a healthy marriage. We all wanted Godly children who love the Lord and us. We all wanted long and fruitful ministries. Then he asked the big question, “What are you doing right now that will help you achieve these goals?”

It is one thing to ask, “Where do you want to go?” It is quite another to ask, “What are you doing to get there?”

Preacher Andy Stanley calls it “The Principle of the Path.” Basically, he says your life will only end up at the destination which you are walking toward. You will not end up at a location that is different from the direction your steps are taking you.

The application is two-fold.

1. Where Do You Want to Go

What are your dreams for your personal life? What are your hopes for your marriage? What do you hope your children become? What do you want to do when you retire? What kind of grandparent do you want to be? What do you want to be remembered for when you are gone?

2. What Are You Doing Right Now to Get There Later

If you want to know your Bible better, reading Facebook will not get you there?
If you want a better marriage, are you spending time with your spouse?
If you want Godly children, what steps are you taking to instill faith in them?
If you want to retire and use your time to serve others, are you developing your gifts now?
If you want to be a grandparent who is viewed as a spiritual leader, then are you leading anything?
If you want to be remembered as a person who loved God and others, what are you doing that would give people that impression of you?

Most people I know are caught up in the immediate needs of life. They are running here and there trying to make everyone happy. Then one day they set alone in the twilight of their lives wondering how they got there.

A great life is built on the daily decisions that lead us down a particular path. What are you doing today that will make you proud of your life one day?

Here is the thought for today.

Here are some of the best articles I found this week. Enjoy.

A Honey-Don’t List for Wives

3 Signs You’ve Just Had a Great Fight with Your Spouse

10 Myths About Africa Many Americans Believe

Avoid This Everyday Danger

The Limits of Friendship & How They’re Probably Impacting Your Church

Behind our Church building is an old road that goes nowhere. It simply runs through our property and divides two fields. The problem is that it looks like it is a continuation of Edith Street here in town. It runs straight, and kind of appears like you can take it as a back way to Heritage Tractor Sales on the property to the North of us.

After being here just a short time, I noticed that about monthly a vehicle would drive down the road. They reach the end and find there is no way to get from one property to the other. It is a dead-end road.

For over two years I have watched people from my office window drive down the road to stop and come back. Finally, I decided to have the Church purchase a sign to put at the end of the road. I looked at several options and ended up buying a sign that says, “Not a Through Street.” In November, my associate and I put the sign up, and I thought that would end the issue.

This week I watched another truck drive slowly past the sign and then get all the way to the end. They sat for a while before they turned around and drove back down the road. I stepped in and told my associate what was happening, and he said another vehicle did the same thing last week.

I have come to think of this occurrence as a perfect illustration for the Church. I regularly spend time trying to warn people of the dead-end paths in life. I tell them if you keep traveling the road you are on right now it will destroy your marriage, your children, your family and even your very soul. Some people see the sign as an opportunity to stop and change directions before it is too late. Other people ignore all warning signs and drive on as if I was lying. Eventually, they reach the end of the road, and they seem confused as to how this happened. They ignored the sign to their own demise.

Your preacher, your Christian friends, and your God do not want you to go down dead-end roads. We want to you travel the right paths. We are not small-minded or judgmental. We want the best for you, and so we try to warn you. It is not a joke, some of us have seen the other end of the road and know it goes nowhere. We hope and pray you will listen.

Someday you will drive your life down a road from which you can’t return. Our warnings to you to find another route is for your own good. The road goes nowhere.

I wanted to share one piece of advice on prayer that has been helpful to me lately. I simply call it “learning to pray specifically.”

Having listened to thousands of prayers throughout my life and ministry, one day I realized how most prayers we offer are very generic. Once I noticed it, then I began to listen to my own prayers. Without even realizing it I found that most of my prayers had become very unspecific. I understand that this could happen to any Christian. So let me encourage you.

1. Ask for What You Want

Be Direct. Be Honest. Be specific.

-Don’t just pray to resist sin. Pray that you will not fall to the sin of pornography on your computer. Pray you will have strength to stand against the devil. Pray you will have the power to resist temptation. Pray for those moments you are alone with the internet.
-Don’t just pray for your marriage. Pray that God will give you the right words to say to your spouse without being accusatory so as to build your marriage. Pray that tonight you will find 15 minutes to talk deeply.
-Don’t just pray for your spiritual life to grow. Ask God to bless the 10 minutes you have to read your Bible today. Ask him to reveal something new for you to understand. Ask him to show you clearly how to apply what you know.
-Don’t just pray. Be specific. What are you hoping that God will do? What do you really want?

2. Tell God How You Feel

As I read the Psalms, I am always impressed at how David didn’t hold anything back. It makes sense, though. If we serve an all-knowing God, then he knows how you feel already. But like a good parent, he wants you to vocalize it so that you can work through your issues.

-Tell God you are hurting.
-Tell God how much you hate yourself right now.
-Tell God the anger you feel toward that person.
-Tell him, tell him, tell him how you feel.

Then ask him to work through your feelings.

Having those feelings are not the issue, the problem is when you do not work through those feelings. Unresolved feelings of anger leave you feeling bitter. Feelings of unworthiness can lead to depression. Share your feelings with God and work through them so that you can find the healing you need.

Obviously, these are not the types of prayers you shout out on Sunday morning before the entire Church. These are the words you say in private to God. Jesus indicates that is where our prayers are the most effective anyway (Matthew 6:5-6).

I hope the next time you pray you will be open and honest. God can handle it, and you need it.