Here are some of the best articles I read this week. I hope you enjoy them and have a great weekend.

STOP BEING ON FIRE FOR JESUS – Interesting article about something I hear quite often.

Ten Questions Christians Should Ask of Their Entertainment – Thinking through your entertainment choices.

Tim Keller: 3 Questions Fake Christians Can’t Answer – Penetrating questions to think through and evaluate your faith.

5 Things to Never Say to Your Adult Children – Great thoughts as two of my children now shift into adulthood.

Let’s All Take a Lesson From These Two Exhausted College Students – Great picture. Worth a quick look.

In defense of the tree emoji – simple thought from Seth Godin.

This weekend is not only Mother’s Day, but today is my mom’s birthday. I hope she has a wonderful day and weekend.

She will never know the total impact she has had on my life and my faith. She nurtured in me a caring heart for other people.

I read this story years ago, and every time I think of my mom this story comes to mind. I hope it makes you think of your mother too.

A teacher was teaching her math class about fractions.

She asked little Johnny a question. “Suppose your mother baked a pie and there were seven people for dinner that night. There were your parents, the three children, and two guests. What part of the pie would you get?”

“A sixth,” replied the boy.

“I’m afraid you don’t know your fractions,” said the teacher. “Remember, there are seven of you.”

“Yes, teacher,” Johnny said, “but you don’t know my mother. Mother would say she didn’t want any pie just so everyone else could have a bigger piece.”

Happy Mother’s Day to all, especially my mom.

There are two sides of communication. There is what is said and what is meant. Have you ever had someone quote you almost verbatim and then you said, “That’s not how I meant it.”

I think this is one of the things that makes communication so hard. This is true for marriages, parents, friendships and every other important connection we have in life. It is even true for Christians.

Not only is it easy to read into people’s words, but we also should consider their tone of voice, body language, the context of the discussion along with their personal situation at that moment.

Communication is hard, and it is easy for us to approach life in a very negative way. I know I find myself thinking evil about people of which I have barely had a conversation. I know I can read a post on social media and get frustrated by a sentence without ever talking to that person.

Here are some thoughts that I am trying to use to help me in my thinking.

1. Think the Best of Others.
Try to see the world from a positive standpoint. Instead of jumping to negative conclusions, why not jump to positive ones. I am sure when they said that they were trying to offer a compliment. I am sure you meant those words as a blessing and I will hear them that way.

2. Be Careful with Ascribing Intent.
It is easy for me to think you said that to try and hurt me. You did that on purpose. You are trying to be mean. You probably set up at night and plan ways to make my life miserable. Most likely, none of those things are true. The reality is that this person probably has not thought about you at all, it was just a misspoken word. Try not to read more into a situation than it deserves.

3. Don’t assume meanings, especially negative ones.
Let me say a sentence, and you tell me what it means. “Did you see that new shirt?” Does that mean the person cannot believe you bought another new shirt? The emphasis on the word new in a negative sense. Does that mean the person cannot imagine that anyone would buy a shirt that ugly? The emphasis is on the word see in a negative sense. Does the person mean that they cannot believe you are wearing that as a shirt? The emphasis is on the word shirt, meaning it is too long or way too short even to be considered a shirt. Does the person simply mean that they think it is a nice-looking shirt? Three of the four conclusions we can draw from one six-word sentence are negative. See how easy it is to assign negative meanings? Be on your guard against this type of thinking.

4. When in Doubt, Just Ask.
I know this is a novel concept, but if you find yourself thinking negatively of another person why don’t you just go talk to them. Ask them to explain their words and what they meant. When we find ourselves going negative on people, then we are required to confront them directly in a loving manner. Believers see this as a command of their faith to deal with people face to face.

Personally, I know I struggle with my negative thoughts about people. In over 24 years of ministry, I have become jaded toward people. I am committing myself to guarding my heart in both what is going in, but also what is coming out. Staying positive is hard, but it really is the best for everyone.

I have dedicated my life to helping other people. I assist them in understanding the Bible. I help them to think about God. I help married couples and parents who are struggling. I help people rebuild after failure and plan for a better future.

As I try to help people through the years, I have learned there are several different reactions –

1. Try to help someone, and you can be ignored.
Since my advice is free, many people listen but do nothing with it. Usually, there is a moment down the road where I want to say, “I told you so,” but I don’t. You can have perfect advice for a given situation, and some people will never do a thing you suggested.

2. Try to help someone, and you can be selectively heard.
More than once I have talked to someone after a counseling session, and they have said they did that thing I suggested. After a few minutes, I realize they only heard part of my suggestion. For example, I have told people to set aside 40 days to pray, seek counsel, read their Bible and then make a decision. The people will mark their calendar for a 40-day mark and then not do any of the necessary daily work to see their decision more clearly.

3. Try to help someone, and you can be misunderstood.
I have heard things like, “So you think you are a better parent than I am?” For a long time, I heard, “You will understand this better when you are older.” Many times, my words of advice have fallen on deaf ears because people read into my words. They thought my words were an attack on their life instead of a helping hand.

4. Try to help someone, and you can be abused.
Some people take your help, and then they will take advantage of you. They will want all your time and attention. They will call at inappropriate times. They will soon feel more like a stalker than a friend. Picture the movie “What About Bob?” if you have ever seen that.

5. Try to help someone, and you can be the help they need.
Occasionally my thoughts and time are well spent. You talk to someone, and the words penetrate their heart and soul. You will speak the power of life and hope into their situation, and they will never be the same. Their marriage will be healed. Their family will connect. Their soul will be refreshed to move forward. Grace will invade the situation, and God will do a mighty work.

The last one is the reason I keep offering counseling and conversation. One out of every five people I try to help will be a success story. Most of my attempts to help people are miserable failures. It is easy to want to give up. Then something happens that I didn’t expect and good things are produced.

I know some of you are trying to help your family and your friends. It is easy to get discouraged and give up, but let me challenge you today. You might be the voice they need to hear. Today may be the success story you have been praying God would bring.

The next few days bring an end to my second son’s high school career. Tomorrow is his last day of school, an awards banquet, a senior dinner, and a baccalaureate service. Thursday, we have a reception for him at my Church and then on Friday is the commencement ceremony. Three more days and it is all over.

I have been thinking about all the things I want to say not only to my son but to all of those who graduate this year.

1. Please Don’t Abandon Your Roots – We raised you to the best of our ability, and we tried to give you strong roots in our faith. There will be a huge opportunity for you to quit the faith during your college years. Temptations will abound, and there will be no one to keep you pointed the right direction. I taught you to live a life of faith because I believe it is the best possible way to live. It will give you everything you need for life, and I beg you to continue to walk in the ways of the Lord.

2. Your Family is Always Here for You – This is true in our home, and I hope it is true for you. We may not be perfect, but we love you and always have a place for you. Visit frequently, call or text and stay connected. As you leave the house this year a part of our heart goes with you. Our relationship will never be the same, but that does not have to mean it will be any less caring. In fact, I think our relationship can be stronger into the future.

3. Connect to a Church – It will be extremely hard to get up for Church the next few years. I went to Bible college, and I still struggled with it. Still, try and find a way to connect. Go to a Saturday evening worship program, maybe a weekday service or even find the latest one on Sunday morning. Attend a Church and learn from the people there. Try to bless them while you are able and one day they will bless you in unexpected ways. The life of faith is meant to be lived in the community, even in college.

4. God Loves You More than Anyone – On life’s journey, you are going to make some enormous mistakes. You will fail large and loud. Everyone will know what you have done, and you will feel overwhelming guilt and shame. Don’t think for a minute that God does not love you. He offers his grace to sinners everywhere, and he will be there when you need him. I can’t explain it completely but one day grace will be all you have, and it will be all you need.

5. Live Fearless – God has a plan for your life. Take adventures. Travel the world. Meet new people. Talk to that girl. Cross the street and offer a helping hand. Connect to people even though some will hurt you. Smile to everyone. Move. Start over. The only limit in your life will be you. God will open doors all around you, and you can run through them or sit quietly and let them close. Live boldly and allow God to do an amazing thing in you and through you.

For me, this will be another emotional week in a long line of dramatic life events. I know it will be a new experience for each senior too. Stay strong and be courageous. Enjoy the moments like this that life gives and thank God for every beautiful moment. A tried to teach you well and go and make me, and all of us, proud.

Do you want to grow spiritually to be more like Christ? Do you want to know your Bible better? Do you want to read more Christian literature? Do you want to be a better disciple?

That seems like a minor question, but it is actually the key to all growth.

The one key piece of all growth is desire.

Do you want it? Do you really want it? Do you seriously want this to happen in your life? Are you willing to work hard to make it happen? Do you truly have a sincere desire to grow?

I am sure you have heard the expression, “Where there is a will, there is a way.” That one statement speaks truth to the most important aspect of all improvement. Do you have the will to do what is required to grow?

Quite often we spend time in the Church trying to give you the right tools to grow. We create opportunities and events where you can grow. We put together programs and practices to help you improve your walk with Christ. We push people toward conferences and seminars in an effort to make them better disciples.

The truth is much simpler. If you desire real and lasting change, nothing will stop it from happening. You will find the tools. You will come up with a plan. You will find the time.

The problem with most people is not a lack of information. The problem is a lack of desire.

What do you want to do this week? What do you really want to do?

Here is a thought for your Sunday afternoon. I hope you have a great weekend and a blessed week.

Here is some of the best stuff from my week. Enjoy.

7 Things Forgiveness IS

7 Things Forgiveness IS NOT

4 Lies Women in Your Congregation May Believe

The First 25 Years Are the Hardest – Short little article with a big nugget of wisdom

I have a big desk calendar that I have nailed to my wall. I know we live in a digital world and most people keep their schedule on their phone or tablet. I still keep a big old desk version of each month so that I can see it at a quick glance.

Today is May 5th, and I have on my calendar written two words and drawing of a sad face. In today’s box is written “Dad’s Birthday.”

Today was supposed to be his 82nd birthday. Some time later I looked at the date, and I just drew a sad face. I really don’t know what else to do.

Today I should have called him and talked for a while about fishing and my boys and how he stopped having birthdays at 39 years old. Occasionally I could get him to confess to being 49, but it never went further than that.

Instead, I find myself still trying to say goodbye.

It has been four months, and it hurts as bad today as it did the first day.

With each passing day and month, I am trying to be thankful for two things.

First, I am glad God allowed him to be my dad. I was blessed with two wonderful parents whom I love deeply. I am thankful to have had such a great father. I am, and I was, truly blessed.

Second, I am thankful for the hope of heaven. I do not know how anyone makes it through the loss of a loved one who is not a believer. I rest in my faith. While the hurt remains, I find in it the hope of Jesus as our Savior. Dad understood his faith, and I know he is in Paradise with Christ.

Today is hard. You may know what I am going through and I feel sorry for you too. The loss is hard. Some days I hate Adam and Eve and their stupid mistake. Then I am thankful for Jesus and amazing faithfulness. Combined I find hope in the darkness. There is a light in the valley of the shadow of death.

Some days I feel like a crazy person. I feel like the things that I am thinking are odd and unique to me alone. Surely, no one has felt the way, or I feel of thought the way I am thinking?

Have you ever felt that way? Felt alone on a sea of odd thoughts and strange feelings?

When that happens, I have found that two phrases can help me more than any others.

1. I have thought or felt that way too. I find a sense of peace in knowing that other people don’t have everything figured out. I remember hearing an old preacher mention his struggle with lust over his whole ministry. He told of how he thought like an average guy while trying to live a Godly life. At that moment, I no longer felt alone. Someone knew me. I didn’t feel crazy or like a failure. I felt like a normal human struggling with the sin we find in this world.

2. I have never thought of felt that, but … You can end this sentence in a variety of positive ways. I have never felt that way, but I can see that you are struggling. I have never thought that way, but I can see how you could reach that conclusion. I do not know what you are going through, but I am here if you need to talk it through.

There is a line in the movie version of “Shadowlands,” a story about C.S. Lewis, in which a character says, “We read to know we are not alone.” I often think of that quote as people are talking to me. We share our thoughts and feelings to know we are not alone.

There is this temptation in every one of us to try to fix people’s perceived problems. We want to teach them so that they think like I do. We want to make a difference in the lives of people we know and love and quite often that translates into lectures about how to think and feel. What if we make the biggest difference when we try to identify with their struggles instead of trying to correct them immediately?

Then again, maybe I am the only person who thinks this way.