Do you ever think about what goes on inside your pastor’s head? Probably not, but just in case it ever crosses your mind, let me share what I am continually thinking.
1. I wonder why you are not at Church. When someone misses a Sunday, my mind starts reeling. Are you doing okay? I hope nothing is wrong with you physically. I pray your marriage and children are alright? Maybe you are they mad about something. Will you quit the Church soon? Did I say or do something to offend you? I wonder how long it will be before you return, or if you ever will.
2. I wonder how I can help you grow spiritually. What program can I provide that will really help you to improve? Is there anything I should put on my blog? Perhaps there is a sermon series that will move and motivate you. I know many of you know so little of God, how can I help you understand more. Those who know so much, how can I get you to use your knowledge for the sake of the kingdom of God.
3. I wonder what you are not telling me (or anyone). What sins are you hiding? What is hidden inside of your soul that is tearing you apart? What is really going on inside your home? Is your marriage falling apart, and is there anything I can do to stop it? Are you flirting with addiction and no one knows? What can I do to help you bring your hurt into the light?
4. I wonder how to reach our youth with the gospel. Our young people are moving further from God. Their schedules are getting packed, and anything spiritual is moving quickly down the list of priorities. We used to be able to pack youth group and youth events, and now no one seems to care. Our young people are slipping away from faith. Is there anything I can do to stop it?
5. I wonder if anything I do is making a difference. I am trying to move the kingdom of God forward on earth and yet I seem not to make it very far. It feels like I am trying to empty the ocean with a coffee mug. I work diligently but seem to make no difference. Lord, I pray I make a difference in the life of just one person this week.
I went into ministry so that I could make a difference in this world for God. Every day I push myself to be a better person, parent, and pastor. I want my life to make an impact on the people around me. I want them to know God better today. I wonder about it. Honestly, I worry about it.
If I am making a difference in your life, I am happy about that fact, but I am not content. In the movie Hacksaw Ridge (based on a true story) Desmond Doss is helping people off the battlefield and into safety. Every time he saves one person he turns and says, “Just one more. Lord, let me help just one more.” That is my life, minus the blood and guts.