This week I start a new sermon series at the Church I lead. It is called “Homewreckers,” and I will be looking at the six most significant issues I find in marriages. If these things are left unaddressed, they will wreck a home and hurt the people inside of it.
The topic of marriage is near to my heart. My wife and I have worked hard through the years to develop as a couple. We both have a burden for other couples we have met and the struggles they are going through each day. We have both counseled numerous people both professionally and in private conversations since the beginning of our marriage.
There is one phrase that keeps coming back to my mind as I have been preparing for this sermon series and thinking about the people we have helped. It is “people need to have ‘real and raw’ conversations about marriage.”
They need real conversations that require total honesty. In our culture, being real usually means being vulnerable and sharing your flaws. One tendency of couples is to define their problems in terms of the other person’s behavior. “If they would do this or they would not do that, everything would be better.” A real conversation is the opposite. It means saying, “I have this problem, and I need to work on it.” We need to be real in our marriages.
The second type of conversation needs to be raw. For me, a raw interaction is one that requires you to talk about touchy subjects. The topics for raw conversations are unlimited, including things like abuse, pornography, sex, libido, anger, forgiveness, past sexual partners, living together, finances, budgets, your in-laws, parenting, and even religion. These discussions need to be held to get at the issues even when they feel uncomfortable to talk about with anyone, including your spouse.
This upcoming sermon series is called “Homewreckers,” and the subtitle is “real and raw conversations about marriage.” My hope is not just to talk about the problems we face but to get you and your spouse having real and raw conversations at home.
So I invite you to join us online at adriancc.org this Sunday and every week for the next eight weeks. I am praying this will be exactly what your marriage needs to help it improve. Feel free to start working ahead.