This has been on my mind for some time now, and I need to get it out. I want to apologize for my behavior. There have been times that I have not represented Jesus as well as I should have done. My life as a pastor of God’s people contains sin, and I feel the shame of it daily.
I admit that I have said words in anger, rolled my eyes at ignorance, and turned my back on people who needed my help. Through the years, I have shared gossip as prayer requests, not prayed when I said I would, and spoken poorly about people to others. There have been days where my frustration seemed insurmountable, and I took it out on someone who did not deserve my wrath. I have lied, cussed, trusted myself, tried to promote my name more than Jesus. My self-serving heart elevated my needs above others and caused pain. My flaws are many, my sins abound, and the mistakes keep repeating themselves in my life. My list of faults, failures, and faithlessness is long and embarrassing.
I am sorry about these things. I wanted to do better. I have prayed that you would forgive me. I hope that you would not hold these things against me. My plea is for your grace and mercy. The Lord is still working on me, and I am trying to improve every day, but I know I will mess up this weekend at least a dozen more times. Please show me compassion, grace, and love.
How about this? I will make a deal with you. If you would be willing to show me kindness and grace, I will return the favor to you. Why don’t we both take the sadness we have over failed expectations and throw them at the foot of the cross and learn to walk together in love. If this seems like a possibility to you, then meet me for worship on Sunday morning, and let’s care for one another like the family God wants us to be – flaws on and all.