I once had a doctor who attended a Church that I led, and we got into an interesting conversation one Wednesday morning. It started because of a discussion during a men’s breakfast. One of the men was complaining of a sore back and was going to a chiropractor that afternoon. I was curious to know a doctor’s thoughts on chiropractors, and so I cornered him and asked his medical opinion.

He responded that there are two types of doctors in the world. These descriptions also applied to several other professions, including chiropractors. One group will try to fix your problem and then move on to other patients. The second group is the people who want to get rich off you. They attempt to fix your problem but then follow that up by telling you that you need ten or twelve more visits. Then he said something like, “Keeping people broken can be beneficial.”

With that conversation, some things became clear to me. Not everyone wants you to put your life together correctly. Several people benefit from your life staying a mess. Some can cash in on your financially while others like the emotional dependence it brings.

One challenge in life is to surround yourself with people who want the best for you. Fill your life with people who have the desire to see you achieve and not get something from you. This is incredibly difficult to accomplish when others see numerous ways to take advantage of you. You can feed their emotional or even financial needs. You need people in your life who pour into you instead of taking from you.

The flip side is also true. Be the kind of person who offers help and hope without expecting anything in return. Do you want your friend’s life to get better, or do you like the fact that they need you? Do you want other people to be healthy and whole, or would do you feel a sense of satisfaction that they depend on you?

A good friend, like a good doctor or chiropractor, wants you to be healthy, both mentally and physically. A charlatan keeps you coming back for more.