Thoughts on Rebuilding Your Marriage

Rarely a week goes by that I do not talk to someone about how to improve their marriage. The relationship between a husband and a wife is one of the most fulfilling connections a human being can have in life, but it is also the most difficult to maintain. Today I thought I would share a few of the most common advice I give couples and maybe they will help you have a better marriage starting today.

  1. Conflict is seldom the result of one issue. You might be fighting with your spouse about how to handle your children best. This one problem is generated from family of origin struggles, communication failures, spiritual differences, and overbearing in-laws (to name a few). To improve your marriage, you need to determine the most significant issue and work on that first. Quite often, communication is the key to getting started in the right direction. Learn to communicate well, and it opens the other doors to a healthy relationship.
  2. Work at recovering what was lost. When a couple falls apart, one of the culprits is that they both quit acting like they did when they were dating. They stop spending time together, talking and genuinely listening, seeing the best in the other person, and being the best version of themselves. One key for you to rebuild your marriage is to go back and do some of the things you did at first. Have a date night with no kids and no cell phone. Dress up and go out. Smile and open the car door for her. Hold hands. Kiss passionately. Do that every week and things will begin to change.
  3. Do one thing together you both enjoy. Find your one thing as a couple. This one activity can range from walking together, watching movies, being outdoors, playing games, sports, and a thousand other possibilities. Once you find the thing both of you like doing, do it together often and watch how quickly you become more friendly.
  4. Small things often. Do not worry about planning a big date night or a fancy vacation if you do not have the time or money. You can do one small thing every day that improves your spouse’s life. Make a meal without complaining, pick up your laundry, bring home a rose, shut your phone off and look them in the eye when talking, praise them in front of others, and on and on it goes. Find a way to make a small investment in your marriage every day, and you will be surprised how your love grows.
  5. Practice forgiveness. Have a short memory of failures. Say “I am sorry” often. Speak the words, “You are forgiven,” and never mention what happened again. Let go of grudges. Offer kindness instead of anger. All great marriages have failures. The difference between poor and great relationships is how they handle their failures. Be full of grace, mercy, and love toward them, and let them practice it toward you.

These are all elementary things you can do to improve your marriage. Behind all these ideas is the truth that you can make your marriage better. Start working today, and you can begin to enjoy the rewards in the near future. Trust me, I have seen it work hundreds of times.

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